Is Living With Your Boyfriend Okay?

There’s this epidemic that’s been going on where girls are losing it at younger and younger ages and living with guys who aren’t even committed to them. Yes, ladies, if you’re living with a boyfriend rather than a husband, there isn’t much commitment on his part. Think about it: if he wants to break up with you tomorrow and he pays for the place, he can just kick you out. Ask my sister’s friend who experienced this. She had nowhere to go because her parents lived in another state. She had to live with them again because after getting back with the boy, he punched her in the face and gave her a black eye. Not to say your boyfriend would do that, but my point is that when you’re dating, the commitment isn’t as binding as when there’s papers and laws and fines and eye-witnesses-of-vows involved.

Some of you may be saying, “Well, I’m not really ready for marriage, so I don’t mind having a boyfriend.” Okay, but if you’re living with your boyfriend, how can you say you’re not ready for marriage? You’re basically doing what married people do, but again, without the commitment.

Some people think living together is “good practice” but really, if you look at statistics, it’s terrible practice. According to The NATIONAL MARRIAGE PROJECT, which provides the latest and most reliable data available to marriage, divorce, cohabitation, fragile families with children, and youth attitudes about marriage and family:

Just over 50% of first cohabiting couples ever get married.

That means almost half of the people who live together don’t end up getting married.

In the United States and in the UK, couples who live together are at a greater risk for divorce than non-cohabiting couples.

The U.S. Justice Department found that women are 62 times more likely to be assaulted by a live-in boyfriend than by a husband

Cohabiting women have rates of depression 3 times higher than married women

Couples who lived together before marriage tend to divorce early in their marriage.

Within five years from the beginning of a cohabitation relationship more than half of these relationships will end even if the couple had married during that time

57% of cohabiting couples dissolve within ten years when compared with  30% of all first marriages

Cohabiting couples have a rate of separation that is five times that of married couples, and, in the event of separation, cohabitors have a rate of reconciliation that is only 33 percent as high as that of married couple

Let’s highlight a few things: Women that live with their boyfriends are 62 TIMES more likely to be assaulted by their boyfriend than if they had a husband. That’s a pretty drastic estimate. Again, my sister’s friend did get beat-up by her boyfriend. I watched this Youtube video of this woman talking about her many failed relationships where she lived with guys who ended up abusing her. Look, if the stats say so, why not just be careful and live by yourself or with a girl-friend?

Co-habitating women have rates of depression 3 times higher than married women. I’m sure there’s a number of reasons why these women become depressed, but I’m positive one of them has to do with the desire of someday being married. I met this girl who lived at the building I worked for in Sunny Isles, FL with her boyfriend. They had been together for eleven years or something and she was still waiting for him to propose. Once, as I watched, she expressed this while in front of him, and behind her back he made a face to me like, “Psh, that’s not happening anytime soon.” I wanted to throw him under the bus, but I was working and decided to pray for her instead. I ended up finding her crying hysterically one day by the pool and she told me she walked in on him cheating on her.

Last time I checked, she was still with him and he still hadn’t proposed.

Now all this to say, I want women everywhere to know they DON’T HAVE TO SELL THEMSELVES SHORT! They don’t have to compromise. That’s a total lie and what some guys want you to believe so they can use and abuse you because they’re thinking with their penis, and their hearts are filled with lust.

I hear many girls say, “Where are all the good guys? They’re so hard to find.” Well, if you’ve been snagging guys in clubs, bars, pubs, or a wild party or concert, I can imagine  they’re hard to come by. But really, you shouldn’t even be looking. You don’t have to. That’s what I finally realized after boyfriend number fifty-something. Besides, searching is exhausting! Dating takes a serious toll.

Here’s a secret: if you have a desire to get married someday, God probably put it there and there is a “the one” out there for you, but you both have to first become “the one.” It’s a process. You’re not supposed to be with that person before either of you are ready. And here’s the thing: dating other people before you finally encounter that person, isn’t molding you for him, it’s causing you to bring more baggage into the relationship God desires you to be in. Which sucks for him and for you.

Single isn’t bad–when you have the right focus. If you’re focused on being single, it’s going to drag. But, if you focus on something better than being in a relationship, you’ll be fine.

For me, it was God.

I was finally single and ecstatic because I knew how much this Jesus loved me and He was revealing Himself to me like never before. It all started with a cry out to Him and the decision to finally put Him first.

See, before God, guys were my god. Well, one guy in particular, my ex, “Dace.”

He didn’t make me feel like how God did. He would hurt me, disappoint me. God never did. So I was on cloud nine and even after meeting my wonderful husband, he doesn’t compare to God.

But, that’s up to you find out.

2 thoughts on “Is Living With Your Boyfriend Okay?

    1. Aw sister, I feel ya princess. But the amazing thing about our Father and King is that He redeems! He gives a crown of beauty for ashes (Isaiah 61:3) and restores those six years the locusts have eaten (Joel 2:25). Never believe otherwise.

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