Now I’m preaching to the prego/baby mamas. Oh, and non-virgins too

If you’re familiar with my previous blogs, you’ll know what this next statement means.

IT’S NEVER TOO LATE!!!

If you’re not as familiar, let me break it down for you:

I believe 100 % in saving yourself till marriage and with plenty reason.  Ladies, you are *priceless*.  Your body is *priceless*.  Don’t buy into the lie that it’s just common and if you already have, get your money back.  Forget the music videos, songs, television shows and films that scream otherwise.  Sadly, they’ve forgotten their own value and try to encourage you to do the same.  If your bodies weren’t such invaluable gems, why do you have to pay to get into strip clubs?  Why create the term, “sex sells”?  I was at work and got into a short conversation with a guest.  I told him a little about my book and before I continued he said, “Well, just put sex in it cause sex sells.”  Mind you, he was at least 65 years old.  If grandpa’s talking like this, no one is in the dark about the media’s views.  They know your unique bodies are worth paying for to see and use you as a means to profit.

I had a horrific dream this morning.  There was a young girl, maybe fourteen years old, sitting on a bed.  An older man, I would say in his late fifties early sixties was fondling her bare breasts.  It was so disturbing, it woke me up.  Now hear me out:  although hopefully this has never happened to you literally, this is what happens in the minds of men that see you if you simply present yourself in a seductive or revealing way.  Don’t believe me?  Ask a few honest men you know what goes on in their mind when they see a woman with clevage showing or her stomach out or short shorts.  You don’t think men that are up there in the fifties, sixties and higher think the same way?  Especially old men who probably don’t get as much as the younger ones.  Just to drive this home:  there’s a regular who comes into the restaraunt often.  He’s definitly in the mid-seventies.  I’ve had some shallow conversations with him as well and even a deep one on faith.  One day, he saw me out of my work clothes when I came in to pick up my tipshare.  I wasn’t showing clevage or wearing anything short, but, being somewhat well endowed, my top revealed this fact more than my blazer does.  Despite the fact that he knew I was a Christian and married, he said to me, “I never knew you had such big knockers,” or something of that nature.  Pretty much every guy on the planet, even the ones that don’t want to, have raped women in their minds.  Now, to their defense and to our shame, some of the women wanted their attention, although honestly, I don’t think many of them consider that’s what’s going on in their minds when they’re staring.  Now, back to the main point:

There’s something in our hearts that knows a woman shouldn’t flaunt her stuff out there for every Tom, Dick and Harry to see.  We as women can especially relate to the idea of being with one man for the rest of our lives.  Imagine with me for a moment this scenario:

A little girl watches a classic princess fairy tale and then desires a prince.  As she grows up, mommy and daddy teach her how a prince should treat her.  She believes them, because she sees the way daddy treats mommy and thinks, “That’s how my prince is going to be.”  She now grows into a young adult.  Boys at school show interest, but she doesn’t want to waste her time on toads for she knows her prince is somewhere out there, cutting through thorn bushes and slaying dragons just to get to her.  She decides instead to focus on other things and preparing herself for her knight when he comes.   She is now a young woman.  She is content with life and pursuing her dreams.  Without searching, one day her prince arrives, a sweet  surprise to her already wonderful life.  They fall in love, but he vows he won’t break her chastity until he’s asked for her hand and honored her in marriage.  His promise remains solid and on the night of their wedding day, she finally gives herself to a man.

If you could go back and choose this road instead of whatever road you’re on, would you?  If you’re sane, you answered yes.

“But Natasha, get real: none of us can go back in time and besides, that stuff only happens in a perfect world and unfortunately, we’re not in one.”

You’re right on both points, but even though you can’t change your past, you can change your present and even your future.  And although our world is not perfect, I know a God who is and who promises, “as far as the east is from the west, so far have I removed your transgressions from you” and, “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow.”  Even if you have a child (or a few), and have been abandoned by the child’s father or it just didn’t work out with him, you are not a hopeless cause and you are not unlovable.  God has a funny way of making those who know Him, like Him.  I know women who have had children and then they get their prince.  I also  know a woman who was planning on saving herself till marriage, but got convinced by some wolf in sheep’s clothing that she should give herself to him.  After the fact, he used her and then moved on.  Later, she met her husband and discovered he had saved himself for her.  She felt horrible, but her husband did not hold it against her or even get angry with her.  She didn’t need his forgiveness because in his eyes, she was still his woman and if God could forgive them both for their past, he was going to do the same.  She however, struggled with forgiving herself although eventually, her heart was healed and she was able to.  I even know a few people who discovered they had AIDS and believed they would never find someone who would accept them and marry them, but they both are happily married.

By the grace of God, I was blessed enough to lose my virginity to my husband on the night of our wedding.  But I tell you, before I was 18 and a half, I would have had it otherwise.

I almost lost my virginity to the guy I had just months before I met my husband.  Three times I tried to have sex with him and every time it failed.  (If you want to know the details, you’ll have to read the book, because I am not going to spoil it.)  Talk about divine intervention.  I swore my ex was the one and I would never find someone better, someone that could make me feel the way he did, love me like he did.

I was wrong.

Jonathan stepped in and it truly was love at first sight (at least on the physical “eros” level: there’s three kinds of love, eros, phileo and agape, but I’ll delve into that more in a later blog).  Within less than two weeks, I knew I was going to marry this man.  Don’t believe me, I have the diary entry to prove it.  Anyhow, although I hadn’t saved myself completely for my prince charming (I did have oral sex and was sexually active in other ways before him), I had a change of heart by the time we did meet.  I knew I wanted to be pure till marriage and whoever that man was, he was going to have to wait.  Sure enough, he did wait and that night was so much more amazing than it would have been, had I decided to do it earlier.

What I loved about waiting is that now, after the fact, I trust my husband so much more.  Instead of being inspector Gadget, having to spy on my husband and check his phone, I know: he waited for me, a woman he loved like no other before her, even though it was extremely difficult, his love for God and me was greater than his lust and he was able to control himself.  Now, if we had sex before hand, I wouldn’t have that friendly reminder.  Aside from that, I know he really loves me for me, not my body or how I make him feel.  Our love goes way beyond the physical and now, since we were that committed to each other before the “I do” we are that much committed in marriage and more, being ahead of the race for strong and lasting marriages.   So, I ask you now:  you are able to have a scenario like mine, will you choose to?

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Daughter of the King, married to a prince. Writer, actress, and my husband's side-kick filmmaker.

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