Ah, insecurity. That dreadful, dreadful word. I wish it were an object so I can stomp on it with my foot and then crush it with a falling piano or something. As far as I’m concerned, EVERY girl walking this earth struggles with insecurity. Some more than others, but all in all, we all have dealt with it and will deal with it again some time in our lives.
I’m going to break this up into three different sections: Girls who struggle with insecurity sometimes, somewhat often, and every darn day. So you can skip the others and go straight to the section you relate to most.
“I’m pretty secure in my own skin. It’s only sometimes that I doubt my appearance.”
Fortunately for you, this is normal. I don’t think there’s a single woman out there who never feels insecure and if there is, give me her name and cell phone number. I’m very happy for you
that this isn’t much of a struggle for you. But do me a favor, encourage a girl you know suffers big with this. Let her know what you like or love about her and have her read psalm 139.
“I don’t obsess about my insecurities, but I’m definitely not confident.”
Find yourself at times comparing yourself to other women and finding in whatever it is your comparing, they got it better than you do? Here’s the thing, there’s always going to be a girl that’s
prettier or has a nicer body than you. But for every guy that likes that body-type and those features, there’s a guy that doesn’t. And here’s the best thing about that: the guy that’s for you
is going to be attracted to you and is going to want you, not the pretty thin blonde you’re comparing yourself to. I’ve had my moments where I knew my husband thought a girl was pretty, but since he’s a prince (a man who, because he has a relationship with God, loves, respects and treats me right), he doesn’t stare or even mention it to me. His eyes are right back on whatever it is he’s doing or on me and he never makes me feel like he wishes I was different in any way. When God places your prince in your path, he won’t make you feel that way either. Know that she has her own imperfections and insecurities as well and then force yourself to think of something else. Thank God for the eyes you have no matter how plain you think they are. Shoot, thank Him for the nose you have because some people don’t even have one of those! If you’re unhealthily overweight, stop moping and start exercising. Put down whatever it is that’s causing you to gain weight because it’s not good for your health or your mind (and get reflective. There may be a past hurt you are trying to numb with the pleasure you get from eating. Confront the past and know that Christ has defeated the devil’s works in your life. The past is past, and God can and wants to heal you so get real with Him about your pain). If you got some curves, some hips and a big booty, be grateful. There’s a girl with a small butt wishing she had yours.
“I hate the skin I’m in.”
Okay, those people who bullied you, are uglier than they ever called you and did so because they have their own issues they didn’t know how to deal with. The rejection you’ve felt from a father or mother had nothing to do with who you are. They were not mature, they were as selfish as selfish could be and probably went through rejection with their own family as well. Pray for them. Don’t internalize and personalize the rejection, externalize it and bring it up to God in prayer. Pray for their healing and for yours. Pray, pray, pray. I can’t stress this enough. Get around loving-people. If you don’t know where to find them, look for a church with a good reputation and check out some of their small groups (aka home groups) or youth groups. Whoever treats you wrongly, pray for them. Ask God to help you see yourself the way He does, not the way anyone else does. In the end, their opinion of you does not matter. You’re beautiful, prized, cherished and loved, not because they say so, but because God does. If you don’t believe me, I encourage you to pick up a Bible and check for yourself. If you’re thinking, “Well, I’m not Christian and don’t believe or am not sure if the Bible really is inspired by God,” I challenge you to read it anyway and see what the God of the Bible says about you. There’s lots of messed up religions out there that say you’re an evil alien that needs taming or you’re just an accidental animal with no purpose. The Bible says you were made in the image of God Himself and were created for the sole purpose of knowing Him, being loved by Him, loving
Him in return and loving others. That you do have a special and specific purpose that only God knows and you can know if you seek it out. You have gifts. Whether that be singing, writing, drawing, communicating, being an ace at math, a great organizer, whatever it is, you’re unique and specially designed. As my mom-in-law so beautifully put it, “Princesses come in all packages.”
With sincere love,