Be submissive to my husband? Kill me now.

I know this is what some of you women are thinking when the term ‘submission’ is intermingled with the word ‘husband.’

“Wives be submissive to your husbands as unto the Lord…” 1 Peter 3:1

Ah and this is where the Bible loses many of us women. Sadly, we stop reading after this. But if we only knew how this verse finishes.

“…so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.”

Let me just speak the feminist real quick. You say the Bible is sexist and undermines women. Here’s a few verses for you.

“So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Galatians 3:26-28

“But among the Lord’s people, women are not independent of men, and men are not independent of women. For although the first woman came from man, every other man was born from a woman, and everything comes from God.” 1 Corinthian 11:11-12

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her… husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.” Ephesians 5:25,28

So God tells us ladies to submit to our husbands because what? If we do so, even our disobedient husbands will be won over by our respectful behavior. They will change by watching our example. Nowhere does the Bible say a man has this kind of effect on us. This verse is saying, “Ladies, you have a gift, you have the power to influence your man like no one else in this world can. Because of the way you live your life, your husband can change into a God-fearing, loving, kind and compassionate man. Oh am I witness to the fact that we ladies have such an impact on our men! We tell them something negative, my goodness do their egos go plummeting to the ground. We tell them they’re sexy or we so respect how hard-working they or whatever, they are walkin’ on the moon! Talk about swagger! They have a Kennedy gait.

So I’m writing this because today I had to spoon some of my own dish. I had to remember it’s not by my big mouth that will make my husband change into the man God’s called him to be, it’s by my submission to him, despite how much I want to grab him by the shoulders, shake him and say, ‘WAKE UP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!’ That he’s going to change by witnessing for himself the way I live my own life (for a story where I did submit and was greatly blessed by it, visit this post)

Funny how I forget this when on the letter we read to each other on our wedding night in our bedroom before…(read the book :P)… he told me how my life and my relationship with God inspired him. I have it in black and white for cryin’ out loud! But you know, we let our emotions get the best of us, cloud our judgment, make us forget why we married our man in the first place. Don’t you hate when that happens? Then you stop and actually think and you’re like, “Oh yeah. He’s not so bad after all. Actually, I’m pretty darn blessed compared to most women.” Shoot, I don’t know about you, but I got me a prince! Sure he isn’t perfect, just as I AM NOT perfect, but my goodness he is a great man. He’s a sweetie and a hot one at that. He is a Christian man who has great morals and truly loves me dearly. And if I want him to grow more in his walk with Christ, I need to shut up and pray up and live up to the Christian walk myself. So, married lady reading this right now struggling with submission and thinking your husband is hapless, scroll up and re-read 1 Peter 3:1 and pray for God to help you live out His commands.

As for the lady reading this who doesn’t identify herself as a Christian or has never read the Bible, I really pray you call out to God. That you ask Him into your life, to help you grasp the words that I’ve written. Only He can give you the strength to submit to your husband. He’s not only got plans for you to have a great marriage, but He has plans for you to have an amazing love-relationship with Him. May you discover the greatest Lover in the universe. God bless you and have a merry Christmas.

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Daughter of the King, married to a prince. Writer, actress, and my husband's side-kick filmmaker.

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