Before God I was…

Before I reached out to God and realized He’d always been reaching out to me, I was hot and short-tempered, foul-mouthed, miserable, heart-broken, boy crazy, disrespectful to authorities, lazy, sexually immoral, conceited (when I had make-up on), insecure (when I didn’t), hateful. I’d gossip and steal boyfriends, cheat in school, get drunk often, smoke weed on occasion. And what amazes me is that all I did was begin reading the New Testament, and God started to just reveal Himself to Me; put on a perfect song when I was about to cry, send me the Christian friend I asked to have the night I asked for them, send me a prophet when I prayed for one to be placed in my path. He answered prayers right and left, and my heart just changed. The first change that happened in my heart was the light of hope. My heart was broken for good this time–completely shattered– on February 22nd, 2009. It was darkened by hopelessness and pain, but right after I cried out for Him to, “Please speak to me!” I fell asleep like a baby, and woke up with hope.

The next thing that came was joy. Every day for five days I cried less and less and by the sixth day, I was no longer crying. Instead, I was smiling and filled with joy, telling everyone about how God had healed my heart and how much I loved Jesus. Everyone thought I was crazy, even my own family. My mom was truly concerned about me. I can remember the look on her face. I believe she had that, ‘Oh my goodness, what happened to my daughter, this poor boy drove her mad’ look for close to two weeks. But I guess when she saw the other changes–the desire to read the Bible, and go to church, and to get to know Christians, the fact that I wasn’t coming home drunk or high anymore, and didn’t curse anymore, and wasn’t hurt over my ex anymore, and was more patient with her and my dad–she began to accept that maybe I wasn’t crazy, but truly had a spiritual encounter that changed my life.

Other people began accepting it too. And many of the people I had prayed for, even ones I never saw and didn’t hang out with, ended up coming to Christ! It was amazing. I had been praying for these people to come to know Jesus the way I had, and they were! They had a spiritual encounter, or were suddenly broken down by something, and ended up calling upon the name of Jesus,  or met a Christian that truly loved and followed Christ, and shared their experience with Him. God was just showing up big time, and He still is! Over three years later! As I walk with the Lord, and see Him answer prayer and continue to mold and change my heart, I am convinced He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. That He is Love and draws people to Himself. That His will really is good, pleasing, and perfect, and that He is accessible, He does hear and respond, and that He wants to make Himself known to those who want to know Him. If you haven’t cried out to Jesus, what are you waiting for?! He’s there and He’ll answer. Trust me.

5 thoughts on “Before God I was…

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