After boyfriend number 53, I decided to stop keeping track.  

In my defense, that number does include my elementary sweethearts.  The way I see it, even though me and Bobby Well’s relationship only consisted of waving/smiling at each other, occasionally sitting together, and claiming to be one another’s boyfriend/girlfriend, since I was emotionally invested, he counts as a boyfriend.  So when we broke up in second grade, I experienced my first heart-break.  Sure, when he dumped me out in the hallway in front of his friends I acted like I didn’t care, but I’m pretty sure I cried over it.

That cute, blue-eyed, light-brown-haired booger eater wasn’t just a heart breaker, but he had now become a creator of one.  I went on to be the girlfriend of fellow classmate, Rodrick Brown, then  I moved on to Jaime Perez, and when he got old, Zachary Stein. After Zachary, I would become the most…