Out of all the Bachelors and Bachelorettes there have been, only three couples are together to this day. My, what a shocker! Okay, for real, dating just sets you up for failure. The focus of dating is the emotional and physical aspect of the relationship. It’s mainly about the sexual attraction, and once those fluttery feelings begins to fizzle (because we all know they eventually do), your relationship starts to fall apart. All that “chemistry” you built up because of the physicality doesn’t hold you together, but eventually drives you apart. Why? Because to put it simply, it’s not how God designed it to be. It was never His intention to have you serial date, get your heart broken several times, have numerous partners hence various connections with guys that leave you confused and with a ton of baggage to bring into your next relationship. He had a much better and simpler way: be with one person for the rest of your life.
Ever heard of the word “courtship”? Courting is a process that protects your precious heart from getting trampled on multiple times over. It guards not only your heart, but your mind and your body. What you basically do is don’t give any guy the time of day unless you think he is someone you’d like to marry, and then you don’t have sex with this guy. You set boundaries in other words. Now this guy, if he’s worth your time, will respect you. He’ll literally wait for you until marriage because that’s what he has in mind from the start of the relationship–getting to know you because he can see himself marrying you someday. He’s not wasting your time, and you’re not wasting his.
And trust me, there are guys who will wait. I know this personally because my husband waited for me. And I happen to know several guys who are doing–and have done–the same. If you really hope to someday be a princess bride, honey, you gotta save your goods. “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”
Courtship (unlike dating), focuses on the friendship, and also the spiritual aspect of the relationship. It is what Christians are supposed to be doing (unfortunately, not all of them do because they’ve bought the same Hollywood romance lie that the majority of the world has). It honors God and the person you’re with. It builds true commitment that lasts because there’s not a selfish gain i.e. “I’m with this person because of how they make me feel in bed.” Rather it becomes, “I’m with this person because I love their heart, I love their soul.” When you’re having sex, all this gets confused. You no longer know if you truly love this person for them, or for how they make you feel. You begin to fight because of all the mutual disrespect, not realizing you’ve been disrespecting each other ever since the moment you decided to have sex before marriage. I mean really, what makes a guy worth having all of you? Call my standards high, but according to the God who made both of you, when that man makes you his wife he’s worthy of getting full access to your body.
We ladies so open ourselves up, binding our souls to men when we have sex with them, and when we do this with more than one guy we’re completely torn because our souls are divided. There’s literal studies that show when you have multiple partners it becomes more and more difficult for you to bond with the next person you’re with. Save your heart. Stop selling yourself short. No guy should be able to get into your pants or even under your shirt until after he’s said, “I do.”
I’m gonna be having a video on Courtship this week, and next week I’ll have one from guys themselves who are courting and have courted and are now engaged or married so you can see that there ARE guys willing and desiring to treat women with respect and honor. Be encouraged, chivalry hasn’t died.