Hollywood’s definition of romance/love: When a man takes you out, get’s you to sleep with him, and then moves in with you.
The Word of God commands that we take every thought captive and bring it into submission to the obedience of Christ. It also says not to be conformed to the pattern of this world (e.g. Hollywood’s view on love and romance), but to be transformed by the renewing of our mind, and that we, in Christ, are given the mind of Christ. It also says in Jeremiah that the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. Our sinful nature is inclined to lie. Our hearts, apart from being utterly surrendered to Jesus, are wicked little liars who tie a rope around our necks and drag us into heartbreak after heartbreak.
We also are very influenced by the world who bombards us with romanticism lies. I’m not saying that love can’t have moments of sweet romance, but true love is not only romance, nor does it seek to only romanticize, but it is sacrifice, loyalty, kindness, patience, or as the Word says, “long-suffering.” Romance is nice, but anyone can romance a person. But it takes real love to commit your life to someone, to stick it out in the hard times, and to sacrifice your very life if need be for the other person.
Many Hollywood films show these good looking men romancing women–sleeping with them–and then they live happily ever after. How many men who do such in real life truly love the woman they’re romancing to the point where they’d give their life for her?
So if you’re married yet thinking about an ex it is partly due to your heart lying to you, plus the influences of the worldly views on romance. Just discern that, and then do as the Word says, take those thoughts captive and replace them with Christ-like thoughts. How you are a woman committed in marriage to a man who pledged his life to you and that you will love, honor, and respect your man by only thinking about him when it comes to the opposite sex (and Jesus).
OR if you can’t wait to meet the man appointed for you to marry because you’re craving some endless romance in your life, know this hard truth: not every waking moment with the man God wants you to marry will be romantic. Heck, many moments won’t be. (Be realistic, two sinners living together under the same roof having to share everything can get pretty messy). But, loving that man through rough times and even when he’s not romancing you is oh so much more rewarding because you’re doing what Jesus does on a daily basis: loving unconditionally. And when you do that, you’re obeying Him, and He says in His Word to obey is better than sacrifice.
I don’t know about you, but I’m not living for endless romance. I’m living for Jesus. And doing so isn’t always easy, nor is it always painless, in fact, many times it can be painful, but I don’t focus on the pain, I keep my eyes on the One who suffered torture and death for my sake. The One who promises me an unfading crown, a new name, VIP access to fountains of living water and the tree of life. That is what I look forward to. I promise you, if you do the same, this life will be more joyful for you than the most romantic getaway fathomable.
Until next time, Know Your Worth,