God in His amazing faithfulness revealed to me yet again just how true He is to His Word.
Me and Sir Jonathan are in a financial rut. Today was the dead-line to pay for this writer’s conference I got a partial scholarship to attend. It was $425.00. My husband was a bit sad because he had some important things he wanted to pay for/off, so I didn’t press. Instead, I prayed. He had just dropped me off at work. I spent time in prayer to the Lord and asked Him to reveal to me what to do in this situation. My heart was willing for whatever the Lord wanted, even if that meant sacrificing going to the conference and working instead to help with bills and what not. (Yes, my man is the main provider, praise the Lord. I provide for basically the electric bill, groceries, and my own gas). So the Lord did speak to me. He, in the still small voice first mentioned in the book of 1 Kings chapter 19, said:
Heed the voice of your husband. Whatever he says, do.
Some of you feminists (lol, I love you ladies), might be sayin’ “Wait, hold up! God would never say such a sexist thing!” But I’d like to first say this command is not sexist, and yes, He did say this to me.
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.”-Ephesians 5:22-24
Although it may be hard to believe, God gives us this command in His Word because He desires to see our marriage work! He knows that two heads equals dysfunction. Put two kings on a throne and watch what happens. It isn’t sexist, it’s merely God’s order. This is not to say that women do not lead, because they do (Titus 2:3-5), but simply that men and women have distinct roles. The role of the husband is to be the “head” of the household as Christ is the “Head” of the Church. Yet Christ also submits to the Father, so He desires for us women to submit to our husbands because marriage is supposed to be a picture of His love relationship with the Church, His people, His “bride.” If you resist the “neck” role (one who supports the head), then ultimately, you’re not resisting your husband, you’re resisting God. And trust me wives, this will put a major hindrance on your relationship with God and thus a strain on your marriage. But, when you submit, you see how much more beautifully your marriage functions, and how God blesses obedience to His commanded roles. See, right after God told me to heed the voice of my husband and do whatever he says, I texted Jonathan:
“My love, you are my leader. Whatever you decide, I will follow.”
Later on I get a call from sir Jonathan saying he’s downstairs and has a Bible for me (he knows I like to read at work, but didn’t have one in my car). So when I go and get it, I ask him:
“Did you get my text?”
He smiles. “Yes.”
“Have you decided what you wanted us to do?”
His smile widens. “I believe God has opened a door for you with this conference, and I don’t want to get in the way of that. I also believe God is trying to teach me not to try to be in control of everything.”
See, God blesses obedience. I wonder how things would have turned out if I had argued with him and fought to get my way. I’m sure this story wouldn’t have ended so beautifully. And you realize: husband’s have the harder job. They need to lead us–many times stubborn–women, protect and provide for us, and even give up their life for us if need be. My husband is leading, he is setting the example of sacrificial love in our marriage, something I struggled with a lot in year one and still do from time to time. He’s helped so much and worked so hard so that I can pursue what God’s calling me to do, and he is doing this with patience and love. Jonathan trusts God, and he believes in me.
So, my encouragement to wives, ALWAYS SUBMIT! The only things you shouldn’t submit to are things that cause you to sin against God (in that, your husband’s on his own). But everything else, just give in. This takes time; in our first year I wasn’t such an easy submitter. But God has done amazing things in our hearts during this second year and I’m telling you, it is possible to become submissive, and the fruit of it is really pleasant! I enjoy submitting when I see the results. You will too.
For more on the art of submission, visit this post
Have any submission stories, thoughts, or questions you’d like to share? Please feel free to leave a comment.