I caused some brothers to stumble.


Not too long ago I wrote a post about modesty. The other day I was at the building where my Church gathers, and on two occasions I noticed different brothers looking at me.

As I drove away from the building, I began to pray, and in my time of prayer, God revealed something to me: I had been practicing vanity. Although I wasn’t showing skin, or cleavage my tight shirt and jeans did show off my curves, and my extra makeup (mascara, lip-color, and some eye shadow), had made me more attractive, and hence, I was causing my brothers to stumble.

The Apostle Paul (the man whose letters make up more than half of the New Testament), says in one of his letters to the Church in Rome:

It is good neither to eat meat nor drink wine nor do anything by which your brother stumbles or is offended or is made weak.”-Romans 14:21

And then to the Church in Corinth:

“Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never again eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble.”-1 Corinthians 8:13

And how much more so should we sisters be mindful of what we wear in order to look out for our brothers? See, in my vanity (my desire to look good), I had caused brothers to stumble. Had I simply settled for presentable, with no extra makeup and clothes that did not hug my hips and outline my curves, they probably would have been alright. But really, you ladies know that the skin-tight jeans you wear show off your butt, and what man needs to see that? The only man who can and should is your husband. If you ain’t married, you shouldn’t be flaunting and making both single and married men stumble.

If you’re saying right now, “Oh please, brothers just need to control themselves and not lust. It’s not my fault they’re lusting,” you are not obeying Christ’s command to walk in love. Love does not provoke nor is it self-seeking, but as Paul says, you look out for the interests of others, not just yourself.

Christ is our example. While on this earth, He was all about others, number One being His Father (now for us who believe, our Father), then sinners, and lastly, Himself. We are to have the same mindset: God the Father first, others second, and ourselves last. Jesus said:

“If anyone desires to be first, he shall be last of all and servant of all.”-Mark 9:35

May we stop sinning against God by serving ourselves, and start walking according to His commands. This is possible by confession and repentance. We get honest with the Lord, and then stop wearing things that cause our brothers to trip up. We pray for God to break our vanity and/or insecurity, and to help us be 100% satisfied all the time by His love and acceptance of us just the way we are.

Ladies, know that your worth doesn’t come by how good you look on the outside, and how appealing you are to men. It comes from the fact that Jesus thought you were worthy enough to die for. May you come to grasp the fullness of His love for you, and be filled by it everyday.

With love,


4 thoughts on “I caused some brothers to stumble.

  1. Thanks for sharing this! It reminds me, in a book I read, about an acronym that amish children are taught: JOY
    I always try and remember this as I go about life.

  2. Okay Natasha I get the whole tight jeans and shirt thing. But makeup? One time I came out my house in baggy jeans, and plain flowy shirt that didn’t show any cleavage, my hair was plain in braids and no make up and STILL I had horns honking(which is very uncomfortable), and grease looking men trying to talk to me.
    Mind you, am not a person who wears any form of makeup besides lipstick and lip gloss. And that’s only when I’m working or going to an event. Besides that, am usually anti makeup.
    What am getting to is that, should we really not do something so simple that makes us feel extra good(especially on those days when we just feel ugh) about our self once in a while such as; nails, hair or makeup. Just because a man might look. I came to the conclusion that some men don’t care what you have on or what’s on your face. They’re still gonna look and some creepy ones stare. I’m not saying that gives us ladies a right to come out the house dress inappropriate. But from what you say above it seems like you only had on a simple makeup choice that day. Nothing over the top to draw attention. And I don’t think its improper.
    All of us are beautiful with or without makeup. And I know a few men who are even more attractive to women without makeup. And I caught them staring at women dress plain with clothes that wasn’t tight and makeup free. This leads me to say that unless we dress like Muslim women with only are eyes showing, there will always be one man out there that will stop and stare.

    1. I felt like I should come back and say what I said indirectly but thinking of it, it might be worded wrong and give the wrong impression. I said all of these above to say that we can’t always feel guilty if a man looks at us lustful. It doesn’t have to mean we dress or look inappropriate.

      1. I agree with you, but I realized after that I WAS dressed inappropriate. Skin-tight shirt and jeans aren’t appropriate in my opinion, so that’s partly why I wrote this. We all just need to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and mindful of our brothers. We can pray and allow God to reveal to us if our clothing is immodest. He’s faithful 🙂

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