If you’re being pursued by a self-proclaimed Christian man, there’s a few ways to discern if he’s genuine, or simply wants to have sex with you.
A fake will
1. Compliment your appearance often.
“girl you look good.”
“you’re so beautiful.”
Or he’ll even bust out with, “God told me you’re my wife,” when he doesn’t even know you well yet.
2.) Wants you to go on dates with him/tries to romance you
A fake will try to get you alone with him. Take you to the movies or to a nice restaurant, rather than just get to know you in group or public settings within the Church or Church gatherings.
3. Flirt with you.
He’ll be inappropriate. Try to hug you too long, or squeeze you tight when you hug, caress your arm during conversations, try to get real close to you where some part of him is touching you like his arm or something. He’ll just be touchy, and sometimes even subtly (I get more in depth on how to discern a shark in this post)
Now, a genuine God-fearing brother will do as Paul said in 2 Timothy: treat you with all purity, as a younger sister. He will:
1.) Be more focused on Jesus than on you.
A man who loves Jesus will be serving Him in some way. Whether its children’s ministry or a coach at church, leading a Bible study group, writing blogs about God and His Word, He’s doing something for Jesus. And He has accountability meaning a godly mentor he meets with, or a Bible study group he attends, he’s not just a Sunday or Wednesday night service attendee.
2.) Has a good reputation
He won’t have the rep of “the flirty one” or the one who’s always around women. There should be other brothers you can go to who know where he’s at with Jesus.
3.) Will Get to know you publicly
This man will NOT get your number right off the bat. He will ask you questions about your walk with Jesus and will do so in the public eye, in Church, during volunteering, etc. he will never ask you to come to his place–unless it’s for a bible study or fellowship night with other believers.
4.) Will not touch you
If he does, it’s an appropriate short hug or side-hug, not long clingy ones.
5.) Will not rush into things
He will be patient. He will not rush you or try to convince you he’s your husband. He will let God do that and never make you feel pressured.
So ladies, if you are attracted to a brother who is pursuing you (I say this because many sisters stir up love and start crushing on brothers who aren’t even pursuing them), pray and watch him. Observe his life. Is he serving? Where is he serving? What’s his reputation in the Church? Is he the flirt, the brother that is always around and flirting with sisters? God will reveal, but that brother has to pursue, and in a godly way. So focus on Jesus, and what He’s calling you to do, and if a godly man starts trying to get to know you (not automatically trying to romance you and complimenting your appearance), as I said, observe and seek The Lord. Set aside time for fasting, asking God for confirmation. Trust The Lord, don’t rush things, or make things happen. He will provide in HIS time.