Letting a godly man know you’re interested

I spoke to a brother yesterday who was upset over some emotions he had been experiencing. See, he’s a single Christian man who is really pursuing Jesus, and he likes a single Christian sister who likewise is really pursuing Jesus. He said she’d, “give him signs,” by smiling at him, but then she’d do other things that caused him to doubt. He was on the verge of just quitting because of the emotional confusion. So here’s some advice on how to let a godly man know you’re interested without being inappropriate.

1.) Invite God into the process.

This is vital. If you have prayed for this man and know he is really following Christ, ask God to please lay you on this man’s heart, and have him pursue you. Ask God to make him bold, to cast out all fear, and to ask to get to know you better.

2.) Don’t play hard to get.

“Hard to get” is a worldly, immature idea that causes confusion and emotional distress.

Believe it or not ladies, many men are insecure, uncertain, or simply oblivious to the fact that you like them. Sometimes they need a little encouragement. My suggestion, eye-contact with smiles a few times when he’s around.

Observe his reaction. Does he smile back? If he doesn’t and just ignores it, this can be a sign he isn’t interested.

If he does smile back every time in that kind of way (some people just give a regular smile but there’s a different smile for someone they like), invite him to hang out with you and some other brothers and sisters.

3.) Wait.

Be reasonable. If it’s been over a year with you giving him smiles and eye contact and inviting him to hang out in group settings and he still has done nothing, maybe it’s time to let it go. Don’t hang on tightly to liking a guy that isn’t pursuing you. He very well may be someone else’s husband.

But most importantly, you wanna make sure you aren’t just desiring a husband without preparing yourself for one.

We ladies can romanticize the idea of marriage so much, we end up daydreaming and fantasizing all the time and not even doing things to practically prepare to be a wife.

You really want a husband? Start praying diligently for that man. Not just, “O, God, send me a husband,” but actually intercede for him. “God, I pray for my future husband, that He loves and puts You first. That He will love You more than he loves me. Please build up his faith and protect him from the evil one. Help him to remain pure,” etc.

And then pray for yourself: “Lord, help me to learn how to submit. God, help me to be honest and chaste, not to flirt with my brothers in the Lord out of respect and honor for both You and my future husband. Help me to learn how to be a helper,” etc.

I see women that really want a husband, yet they’re lusting after Ryan Gosling or some other Hollywood star. Seriously? How is that bringing good and honor to your future spouse? You think that’s suddenly going to go away when you’re married? If you’ve trained yourself to lust after or physically admire other men who are not your husband, you will struggle with that when you’re married. You have to be serious and show God you are preparing for one of his precious sons.

That’s my advice. Do any of you have advice you think is God-honoring and helpful? Please do share them in a respectful comment. Much love!

Posted by

Daughter of the King, married to a prince. Writer, actress, and my husband's side-kick filmmaker.

6 thoughts on “Letting a godly man know you’re interested

  1. I think it’s also important to learn to love that man you are interested in in a brotherly and friendly way. Be really good friends with him and establish a good friendship. Also, learn to be a servant and find ways to serve and be a helper not only to that man, but to everyone; we as women need to practice on being helpers! A good advice I heard from Pastor Doug was that we need to practice with our parents, and with friends around us on how to have good relationships. If we don’t have good relationships with those people in our lives than most likely we are not ready for a romantic relationship. Just trust God that if you truly are His child and He is leading and you are obeying, then He is in control and He will bring the right man at the right time. Tell God everything you feel. Most of all if we don’t have a good relationship with God then we are never going to have good relationships with others!!!

  2. My case is a little different, but I struggled with lust so hard that I did go against God when He told me no about a guy. Never went out with him, but I was so caught up in my lust that I couldn’t do anything–even praying and reading my Word–without him on my mind. I woke up and he was the first thing I thought about. I finally did walk away, took four tries, but I did it. Ended up finding out that he was talking to other girls behind my back and even tried to talk to some of my close friends. To top it off he was a known abuser and prone to lose it/crazy. After that I came to God and said, “Lord I’m sorry. Okay–I give it all over to You. You know what’s best for me…” I stopped trying to go pick and ask God if he was the one and started allowing Him to lead the man to me.

    But I would get caught up again and again…seeing guys I thought were ideal and wondering, “I wonder if he’s the one…but he can’t be….but…maybe?” Finally God laid it all out for me and let me know my husband is a man I have not seen nor met and I won’t until it’s time.

    So I guess my biggest piece of advice would be to always, always, ALWAYS consult with God first. Let Him lead the man to you and allow God to mold you and shape you into the godly woman, wife you need to be. I prayed, “Lord help me to be a godly wife, mother, sister, friend, aunt–help me to be better. Lord mold me and shape me to be the woman You designed for me to be.” My next piece of advice–change doesn’t happen overnight so be patient. It’s been a difficult process for me, lots of ups and downs, but it’s unrealistic to ask God for a top notch man and I’m not the top notch woman that man needs me to be.

    #mybad for writing a speech on here…hahaha!

    1. Don’t apologize sister! I appreciate your advice! We need to encourage one another girl! I agree with everything you said. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and share. Much love to you!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s