Do you feel like you’ve been waiting for that spouse for a long time? Are you wondering what in the world is taking so long?
Make sure you’re being practical, not mystical. Choosing a spouse is up to you, but you do need God’s affirmation on the person you desire to pursue.
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you. (Matthew 6:33)
Seek God’s will first and His righteousness. Pause for a moment. Are you righteous? Are you seeking God’s will first? Not just seeking Him in the area of relationships, but in every area of life.
You may be praying for a spouse, but you’ve got sin in your heart that has yet to be dealt with.
Do you struggle with lust and think when you get a spouse it will magically disappear? Yes, we all get tempted at some point, but the Bible is clear that:
No one undergoing a trial should say, “I am being tempted by God.” For God is not tempted by evil, and He Himself doesn’t tempt anyone. But each person is tempted when he is drawn away and enticed by his own evil desires. Then after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin, and when sin is fully grown, it gives birth to death. (James 1:13-15)
James tell us in the verse before:
A man who endures trials is blessed, because when he passes the test he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him. (James 1:12)
If you fall into sexual sin, and have premarital sex, are you enduring? Should you expect a spouse? If you are master-bating because you cannot control your thoughts, are you enduring?
Again, we all get tempted by our own lists, and the Bible commands us to “take every though captive and bring it into the obedience of Christ,” (2 Corinthians 10:5) and in various other places, “don’t conform but be transformed by the renewing of your mind,” and, “gird the loins of your mind.” If you are allowing yourself to have sexual fantasies or are succumbing to pornography, God will not hand over one of His precious children to your lust so that you can objectify them and use them and end up cheating on them because you never learned to control your thoughts.
If this is speaking to you, the beautiful thing is that God understands our weaknesses. You can come to Him and confess these things. Do not try and hide it, Adam tried that trick in the garden and it accomplished nothing.
God is all-knowing remember? He knows every thought you have. But He wants you to confess it to see if you are serious about changing. That’s the first step: confession.
The second is repentance. Realize how broken you are. Realize that Jesus takes sexual lust so serious He equates it to adultery. Determine not to fantasize or masterbate or have premarital sex anymore.
Ask brothers and sisters to hold you accountable. Seek biblical counseling. Disconnect your Internet. Run from it! Repentance means running from your sin. Read your Bible, let it shine its bright light on the darkness of your heart, be open to it exposing your secret motives to you.
When you do this and overcome, then you will be a trust-worthy steward who God can bless with a spouse. Until then, stop whining and start changing.
It may not be lust you battle, but anger, or insecurity. These all must be dealt with. If you’re an insecure woman, you believe the lie that a husband will make you feel secure. In reality, when he comes, you’re gonna be making Him the Messiah in your life and set unreal expectations on him that will bring your marriage to destruction.
Anger is obviously destructive so need to expound on that one. But these are necessary to rid yourself of before marriage.
So, seek God’s will and righteousness first, and everything else will be added to you.