Following Christ is a choice. Obeying Him is a choice, as is disobeying Him. If you truly desire to pick up your cross, /deny yourself/, and follow Him, He will imbue you with His most powerful Holy Spirit, and enable you to follow/obey Him.
Do not believe the deception that you can partially follow His way, and then follow your own heart and standards in other ways and still get to heaven:
“But Jesus told him, “Anyone who puts a hand to the plow and then looks back is not fit for the Kingdom of God.” (Luke 9:62 NLT)
I’m begging you, if you are in sin, if you are disobeying Christ’s commands, lowering or compromising God’s standard for your life, please repent. You many not have tomorrow or even tonight to do so! And do not let your heart, which the Bible calls deceitful and wicked, tell you it’s okay, that God will forgive you when you are dead and face Him.
“Because we have these promises, dear friends, let us cleanse ourselves from everything that can defile our body or spirit … And let us work toward complete holiness because we fear God.” (2 Corinthians 7:1 NLT)
“For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death.” (2 Corinthians 7:10 NLT)
In other words, just feeling bad or guilty about your sin isn’t enough. Trying to cover it up by church attendance or service, isn’t enough. You must repent, or you will experience spiritual death: eternal destruction of your soul.
I beg you, do not take this lightly or call me radical. I am merely quoting the words of the Bible, not my opinion.
I love you, and God loves you, but you cannot “trample on Christ’s sacrifice” and think you won’t receive judgement. Paul says those who continue sinning deliberately, after knowing Christ’s standards, should only expect:
“Dear friends, if we deliberately continue sinning after we have received knowledge of the truth, there is no longer any sacrifice that will cover these sins. There is only the terrible expectation of God’s judgment and the raging fire that will consume his enemies.”(Hebrews 10:26, 27 NLT)
Our past sins are covered, but if we continue sinning after receiving knowledge of the truth, those sins will not be covered.
I leave you with this:
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up. After all, you have not yet given your lives in your struggle against sin. And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said, “My child, don’t make light of the Lord ’s discipline, and don’t give up when he corrects you. For the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.” As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father? If God doesn’t discipline you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really his children at all. Since we respected our earthly fathers who disciplined us, shouldn’t we submit even more to the discipline of the Father of our spirits, and live forever? For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way. So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees. Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong. Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord. Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many. Make sure that no one is immoral or godless like Esau, who traded his birthright as the firstborn son for a single meal. You know that afterward, when he wanted his father’s blessing, he was rejected. It was too late for repentance, even though he begged with bitter tears.”(Hebrews 12:1-17 NLT)