Are you willing—are you ready—to submit to and respect your future husband in every matter, even when you disagree?
I know there’s a lot of sisters who want to get married, but instead of considering who you want to marry, I challenge you to first consider if you’re marriage-material.
“And man was not created for woman, but woman for man.” (1 Corinthians 11:9 HCSB)
“Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper as his complement.” (Genesis 2:18 HCSB)
What happens in your mind when you read these verses? What happens in your heart? Do thoughts of confidence in your ability to help the man spring into your mind, or doubt? Does your heart burn with yearning to be this helper, or burn with anger that you were created to help man?
I want to debunk some worldly lies you may have bought into:
You get married because you make each other happy.
This is unbiblical doctrine. Not to say there isn’t joy in a holy marriage, one that’s surrendered to the Lordship of Jesus Christ, but this is not God’s intention for marriage.
“God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, and subdue it. Rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, and every creature that crawls on the earth.” (Genesis 1:28 HCSB)
God’s very first command to the husband and wife: be fruitful and multiply. In Malachi chapter 2, God says He desires godly offspring. So as a wife, your greatest desire should be to honor Christ by raising up godly children, making mighty disciples for His kingdom. If there is anything above this desire, e.g. “I want to feel wanted,” or, “he makes me happy,” or, “I don’t want to be alone,” or, “I want someone to take care of me financially,” your heart is not ready for marriage, and you will be let down very quickly when your selfish desires are not met to the standard you expected them to be.
Your heart should desire God’s desires: to help your husband be all Christ called him to be, and to build a family of strong believers for Jesus Christ. It’s as simple as that.
When this is top priority, all the other things like joy and sexual satisfaction and intimacy come naturally. Jesus’ promise in Matthew 6:33, “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and everything else will be added to you,” applies to marriage as well.
If you as a single person desire to be a wife for the same reasons God desires you to be a wife, you’re on the right track to being a wonderful complement to one of God’s sons someday.
But if your desires are not aligned with God’s desires, you will face some seriously turbulent waters, and the devil will have a field-day with your marriage.
So examine your heart. If the desires are godly, keep preparing to be that helper by reading God’s word, studying His will for women, respecting men, and getting discipled by a godly wife.
If the desires of your heart aren’t aligned with God’s desires, repent; ask Him to tear down every worldly lie you’ve bought into and to transform your mind. This takes work, you must delve into the Scriptures and let the pure water of the Word cleanse your mind and thus, your heart, from every lie.
But God is faithful. All you have to do is be willing and obedient to the Truth.