I’m about to ruffle some skirts and crack some heels so ladies, brace yourselves: We about to get biblical.
It’s not about your dreams, it’s about his vision. Yes, I am speaking about your husband or future husband.
God did not create marriage to be: a wife has her dreams, a husband has his, separately they get their dreams accomplished, or the husband helps the woman achieve her dreams while he stays at home. You will not find this anywhere in the word of God.
What you do find is God saying it’s not good for man to be alone, that He will make a helper suitable for him.
We, as women, are designed by God to be man’s helpers, particularly our husband’s. Tell me, where in Scripture do you see a solo act of a woman pursuing her dreams with men helping her accomplish her goals?
The only time you see a woman leading a man was in Deborah’s story, and God did not want her leading men in battle. In fact, it was a rebuke and an embarrassment for them that they disobeyed and distrusted God and made the woman lead.
If you want to be a wife someday, or you are a wife, you must pray down the strongholds of your mind: the idea that you have visions and dreams of career or what-have-you that must come to pass, and your man needs to help you make them happen, and instead adopt a biblical mentality, a God-given mentality, which is: I am created to be a man’s helpmeet.
The women noted in the New Testament, what did they do? Serve Jesus. They tended to His needs, and helped Him. They didn’t run their own shows. If it was a married couple, together they advanced the kingdom of God.
We women need to overcome the curse inherited to us by Eve, “your desire will be to rule your husband,” and embrace the new Christ-like mentality: “He who is greatest among you must become least of all.”
It took me over three years of failure after failure to realize I should not be pursuing my own separate visions and “dreams.” I am to be one with my husband and help him , not do my own thing.
Whatever God wants me to do, it would not be apart from or aside from my husband, unless it deals specifically with ministering to women only. Otherwise, it’s not of God.
Writing books, acting in films, anything that does not include my husband is my own selfish ambition. I discovered this the hard way—several times.
I’m writing this so you don’t have to learn the hard way and hurt God, your husband, and your bank account. And his bank account.
Let me add, being a helper to my husband is in no way demeaning, enslaving, or any other oppressive word that may jump into your mind. It is fun and O, so rewarding! I recently learned of this these past two weeks filming this book trailer with Jonathan.
God gave me gifts that do what He said they would do: complement my husband. They aren’t just for me. I was not and am not called to a life of singleness. So, my duty as a wife is to help my hubby advance the kingdom through the calling and gifts God has given him.
It’s not about my books, or my movies, or my ministry. It’s about his ministry, and my joining with him to strengthen that ministry.
The wife is such a vital component. My husband has freely said, “I would not have been able to do this trailer without you.” He’s right. I don’t say that with pride but with confidence and fear, that God has so made me to help my husband, I’d be hurting the advancement of His kingdom if I decide to do my own thing and let hubby fend for himself. Besides, who has time to work on films while they’re trying to write a trilogy? It just doesn’t work. [God has blessed the fantasy story I started, but it’s become a team-effort. It wasn’t until hubby joined me that it really started going somewhere]
So maybe you’re wondering why you haven’t met your husband yet, but instead you should be asking, do I understand what being a wife means? It will cost you, but not much. Those dreams you have are nothing compared to what God can do through a couple who are one and obedient to His directives. “Two are better than one,” and when, “two agree on anything on earth it shall be done for them.” Satan doesn’t want Christians to get married and if he guesses marriage is in your future, it makes sense that he’ll give you all these “dreams from God” that have nothing to do with your future spouse and will cause conflict and separation. Divide and conquer, he’s quite crafty at it. It may be even just one path to the left: what you’re gifted to do, but Satan will have you do it for you in the guise of giving God glory. But how glorious would that be if my children saw mommy was too busy with her books to help daddy so daddy tried, but eventually threw in the towel on his dreams and let mom do her thing? Or how glorious would it be if my books became best-sellers but at the expense of helping my husband achieve His God-given calling? Would it not give God more glory for the world to look on and see that together we wrote a best-seller, or made a powerful film, me at Jonathan’s right hand, and him leading the vision? A united force, a devoted team, sacrificing for one another unto completion rather than succeeding on our own? (Because how many married couples are more like roommates with “special benefits” rather than a passionate team?)
Precious sister, please pray and let God’s word renew your mind, relying on the Holy Spirit’s transformative work in your life.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding; think about Him in all your ways, and He will guide you on the right paths. (Proverbs 3:5, 6 HCSB)