“The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will not lack anything good.”-Proverbs 31:11
Yesterday, we spoke about the powerful woman/wife in Christ in Day 1 of this How to Become A Proverbs 31 Woman study. Today, we zero-in on the second verse describing this amazing woman, and notice two essential qualities:
1.) She’s trustworthy
2.) Her husband doesn’t lack anything good
You may be a trustworthy woman when it comes to your mom, your sister, or your best friend, but what about when it comes to your husband? Do you speak only well of him in front of others, or do you hang up his dirty laundry (if he has any) for all to see? Do you speak down to him, or build him up? Are your eyes and heart only for him? Can he count on you to guard your heart from wolves, to not disrespect him by flirting with other men?
There are things wives can sometimes do that cause their husband to keep to himself and not trust you. You want him to tell you why he’s down, but if he does, you’ll go spill it to your mom. You want him to trust that you’re just going to the store, but you flirt with and text or Facebook other men like it’s nothing, or keep close friendships with other men. You tell your husband, “He’s just my ex from a long time ago, don’t worry about it, we’re just friends.” You don’t think this causes your husband to suspect?
Instead of giving your hubby reasons to trust you, you’re foolishly giving him reasons not to. He probably thinks, “why can’t she let that ex go? Does she still care about him?”
Trustworthiness is not something that is given freely. It is earned. Just because you’re his wife, does not make you automatically trustworthy. You need to prove you’re trustworthy by your actions. This is what causes him to give you more and more of his heart and not withhold any of it from you.
Now what about the next quality?
As a powerful wife, your husband should lack no good thing. A weak wife withholds sex from her husband. A wife who walks by her flesh and not by the Holy Spirit tears her husband down with her words and attitude, rather than build him up with her respect. If you are withholding what is good for your husband, you are not yet a Proverbs 31 woman.
“But what if my husband is a total jerk?”
While Christ was getting ridiculed and spat upon when hanging on that cross did He say, “forget you all, you’re jerks!” and ascend into heaven, leaving them to die in their sins?
If love is conditional, it’s not real love. If you only give respect because your husband has met your standards, you are not doing him good, you are harming his soul.
Men do not thrive where there is no respect. Men either turn bitter, or they bow their heads and give up their responsibilities because they feel inadequate. In either case, this is not what you want to help produce in your husband.
Now, I’m not saying the way your husband behaves is all your fault, he must own up for his actions, but what I am saying is you have no right to return evil for evil. In fact, as a Christian, you are commanded to do the opposite.
Friends, do not avenge yourselves; instead, leave room for His wrath. For it is written: Vengeance belongs to Me; I will repay, says the Lord. But If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him something to drink. For in so doing you will be heaping fiery coals on his head. Do not be conquered by evil, but conquer evil with good. (Romans 12:19-21)
You can leave if your husband is cheating on you, or physically abusing you or the children, I am not saying submit to that, but you cannot disrespect him and do evil against him for anything he does. God is not pleased when we lash out and repay evil with evil. No matter how justified you think you are, God will judge you for every evil action you do whether to the wicked or to the just.
If your husband isn’t abusing you or cheating on you, you don’t have a right to leave him or disrespect him. You are commanded to bring him good all the days of his life, despite how he treats you.
If you are going through a hard time, call on Christ who is stronger than any emotion or hurt in your life. He can heal you, even in the midst of your situation and give you the power to always do good. In this is your freedom: in Christ. If you think a divorce or a new husband is the answer, you are wrong. Peace is a state of heart, not of circumstance. Christ is the Prince of a Peace, He alone gives it. In this life we will always have tribulation, whether married or single, and that is why Christ commands, “be of good cheer, for I have overcome the world.” In Him, you too can overcome every painful situation. You can walk in the victory Christ alone gives always, if you surrender to His leading.
Get into the Word and resolve to obey your God, no matter what. I promise, you will be blessed with joy and peace like never before.
Proverbs 31 Woman Prayer:
Heavenly Father, in Jesus’ name I pray You enable me to be completely trustworthy and to bring good to my husband all the days of his life. Heal me of all hurts, help me to forgive and love and respect unconditionally. Amen.