And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others. But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. (Ephesians 2:1-10 NKJV)
There should be a stark contrast from who you are in Christ to who you were before Christ. You once walked the way the people of the world do: satisfying your desires however you could, being under the influence of satan himself (the prince of the air). But you’ve been renewed. You’ve been transformed—if the Holy Spirit of Christ really lives in you. He gives you new desires and you die to the old ones you once had.
If you find yourself still struggling with sins from the past, I encourage you to really cry out to God and ask Him to fill you and baptize you with His Holy Spirit. And then renew your mind by reading His Word and believing it! Nothing is too difficult for God. He just needs hearts that are done with their way and truly want His way now. Hearts that won’t cling to the reins of their life, but will release them and hand them over to His steering, to His leading.
You can’t follow someone if you don’t where they are and what they want from you.
God is invisible to us, but His Spirit is within us if we’ve surrendered to Him. When you start reading the New Testament, you are allowing God to reveal Himself to you and to show you what He wants from you and for you. You are now able to choose to follow His commands by the power of His Holy Spirit working mightily in you and giving you the desire and will to do what pleases God.
The choice is yours, the rest God handles. Will you let Him lead?
And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ— from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love. This I say, therefore, and testify in the Lord, that you should no longer walk as the rest of the Gentiles walk, in the futility of their mind, having their understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart; who, being past feeling, have given themselves over to lewdness, to work all uncleanness with greediness. But you have not so learned Christ, if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught by Him, as the truth is in Jesus: that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness. (Ephesians 4:11-24 NKJV)