The early stages of marriage (the first two years) can be a very fragile time for many couples. This is the foundation-laying period, and the married couple must be very careful what they’re building their relationship on. Bitterness, high expectations, nagging, bickering, rudeness, pride, lying; if these are your foundation blocks, you are setting up your marriage for serious strife at best, and failure at worst.
Money problems, children, job-stress, these are not what cause fighting and divorce; sin does.
When a spouse (or both spouses) have unrepentant sin in their hearts, it manifests themselves to those closest to them, namely, their husband or wife. They play the blame-game and point fingers instead of looking introspectively and seeing what’s wrong within their own heart. And this causes serious problems because sin doesn’t just hurt God, it hurts you and others as well. Sin is like an AK-47 just firing all over the place and wounding whoever is in the vicinity.
If you want your marriage to work, you have to repent. It doesn’t matter how sinful or to blame your spouse is, that’s between him and God. If you want to be right with God (because sin does separate us from Him) then you need to lay down your pride and consider where you’ve fallen short of God’s standard toward your spouse and in life and make a u-turn.
Nothing is too difficult for God. If you think your marriage is too broken for Him to fix, you have what Christ would call little or weak faith and with that kind of lacking trust in God, you can expect your marriage to fall apart.
But when you understand that God has restored it all before; homosexuals, drug addicts, pornography addicts, nymphomaniacs, murderers, adulterers, liars, thieves, then you have to have faith that He can also fix your marriage. It usually takes one spouse to step up and start being that loving, godly example to convict the other one into repentance.
So are you gonna sit there with your arms crossed, waiting for your spouse to repent, or are you gonna realize God isn’t pleased with your behavior and heart either, and you need to seek His forgiveness and start obeying your Master or you will die and face Him with your own unrepentant sin.
Don’t wait until it’s too late. Don’t wait another day, another week. Repent now. You’re not promised tomorrow. Repent for Christ’s sake, whose greatest commands were love God with all your heart, mind, and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself. It breaks His heart when His so-called children walk in hate toward others, justifying that horrific and murderous sin because their spouse is also sinning. He sees your heart, and it crushes His that you think you’re justified in your disdain and sin toward your spouse when He died to forgive and redeem you both and He loves you both the same amount. That’s His son too you know, and with God there are no favorites.
I pray you repent immediately and grasp how much you’ve been hurting and separating yourself from God by your actions and heart toward your spouse. God can and will restore you if you just submit to His will and obey His wise and loving commands.
Stop laying terrible foundations in your marriage and begin building it up in love. Then you’ll experience a real breakthrough.