If You Don’t Want Kids, Then You Shouldn’t Get Married

So you want to be married, but for what purpose? Is it to produce godly offspring, to raise up more disciples for Christ? Or is it because you just really want to feel “in love”?

Marriage comes with an expectation from God, one He takes extremely serious: the reproduction of godly offspring. Many of us know what the first thing God commanded the first married couple on earth was:

Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it …” (‭Genesis‬ ‭1‬:‭28‬ NKJV)

And He also says in Malachi 2:15:

But did He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth.

And King David, under the influence of the Holy Spirit wrote in Psalm 127:

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate. (‭Psalms‬ ‭127‬:‭3-5‬ NKJV)

If you want to get married ASAP, but you don’t want kids for years to come, or worse, you don’t want kids at all, maybe you aren’t called to marriage, or you are, but you’re not ready yet.

I’m just sharing what God says. This isn’t my opinion, it’s His. He’s the one who desires more Christ-followers in the world, and that is not a minor or insignificant task. In fact, it is the absolute highest commission we’ve received from the Lord as His children:

Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” (‭Matthew‬ ‭28‬:‭19-20‬ NKJV)

What does God ultimately want? Why did Christ come to this earth? So He can preach the gospel and have more children welcomed into His heavenly, eternal dwelling. If that was God’s number one purpose in sending Jesus and creating Adam and Eve, who are we to think we can jump into marriage and not desire the same thing?

If we have truly surrendered to Christ, we will have the mind of Christ. Our desires will transform and align with His. We will want children, and more than just one. Remember what God told Adam and Eve: be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth.

Now I know some may argue that He commanded that because the earth needed to be populated, but first I ask, why did it need to be populated? If God didn’t want a whole bunch of children, He could have just given them a number and been satisfied with them and a few other human beings.

Also, girls start becoming fertile after their period hits between the ages of nine and thirteen. In our current culture, that’s quite young, but if God didn’t want us to produce children until we were in our twenties or thirties, why have us women wasting our limited amount of eggs each month for a decade? According to Jewish tradition (those who were first entrusted to maintain and proclaim the oracles and ways of God), girls become women at 12, and boys are men at 13. Where do you think this ancient tradition stemmed from? A random mother’s opinion of when her child reached adulthood, or does it have a more divine origin?

Remember, non-Christians in our ever-increasingly secular society are the ones who keep bumping up the age for when we should get married and have kids. It’s not the Church or God in His Word commanding us to wait until thirty. And think about it, if God obviously loves human beings and has always shown a great desire for a vast number of them, why would He want us to wait longer and longer to get married when our fertility clocks are closer and closer to running out? Could it possibly be a satanically influenced mindset? Since satan despises humans because we were made in God’s image and have the potential to rule over him (in Christ), it would seem logical that he would do everything he could to stop the furtherance of the human race.

Abortion has already seized over 54 million lives, unsaved environmentalists are propagating population control, and the genocide of specifically Christians and Jews has always been a threat to our advancement. Is it too wild to suspect that now, the crafty serpent is subtly influencing the minds of those under his control to promote a message of waiting until you’re out of prime baby-making age to get married so he can ensure less Christians and humans altogether are brought into this world?

And let’s fast-forward several thousands of years after Adam and Eve, when Christ walked the earth. Let’s see what He said in His parable about heaven:

Then the master said to the servant, ‘Go out into the highways and hedges, and compel them to come in, that my house may be filled. (‭Luke‬ ‭14‬:‭23‬ NKJV)

There’s that whole idea again of filling, of having a lot of children. And remember how Christ taught His disciples to pray; He started with, “Our Father.” God is, above all, a Father. He is making the New Jerusalem described in Revelation big enough to fit over a billion people. He desires lots of children to live with Him forever in eternity and has gone through incredible means to ensure that happens.

So, afraid of having kids? Don’t really want to deal with the incredible responsibility of child-raising because you have other dreams and desires? Then it may be time to pray about marriage. Is it really for you, or have you yet to truly surrender your whole heart to God and His sovereign will for His children?

Just something to think about while you’re still single.

Much love,


One thought on “If You Don’t Want Kids, Then You Shouldn’t Get Married

  1. Natasha, I’ve been thinking about what you said in this post. I agree with most of what you said but I have to disagree about the part when you said couples who don’t want children at the beginning of marriage should reconsider. I try to have a open mind about it, pray and read but I don’t believe that if a couple decide to wait two or so years before having children is wrong. I do not believe sex is only for reproduction in a marriage. Sex is for pleasure, comfort, oneness etc in a marriage.

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