Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her: “Many daughters have done well, But you excel them all.” (Proverbs 31:28-29 NKJV)
A Proverbs 31 Woman is blessed by her children, and hubby compliments her because he’s pleased with her. I don’t think many of us should expect small children to praise us often, but as they get older, they should notice our efforts if they’re done in love and compassion. The one who will take greater notice is likely your husband. So, does hubby praise you? Maybe not every day, but does he thank you, smile at you, notice things you do?
Sometimes he can be so preoccupied that he overlooks your efforts, but then there’s other times where you’re doing things, but not from love. There’s a cloud of bitterness around you that sprinkles or showers your efforts; serving dinner in cold silence, or slamming the plates down. Maybe you’re frustrated or feeling overwhelmed and so you’re short with hubby, or maybe you complain a lot but don’t realize it.
I lovingly say, I’m sorry sister, but that kind of attitude is not praiseworthy, despite all you’re doing. It is when you serve your husband with love and joy, and reverence that praise comes and he deems you the best wife of all. But if you’re simply doing your wifely duties because they’re duties, and not because you love and desire to serve your family and bless them, it shows.
If you notice praise has been missing from your family, evaluate yourself. Sometimes they are simply overlooking, and God can be testing your heart to see if that angers you or if you’re satisfied with knowing He sees, or it can be because your attitude isn’t right.
I know it can be tempting to think you have reasons for behaving rudely and with bitterness, but I ask you to lay that pride down and accept that God gives none of His children an exception to kindness. He says bless those who curse you, pray for those who use and abuse you, and love your enemies. No matter how you are treated, you are called to respond with love (side note: I’m not saying to accept physical abuse or a husband who uses drugs or cheats on you. You can love him, but do not enable him to continue in this abuse. Separate yourself and your children until he repents for real or leave him. In such cases, God permits divorce and you would be doing your family a great disservice if you remain in an abusive environment. It’s not healthy for you or your children and can very well cause them to grow up and do the same things as their father).
For all other issues, money, sex, career, chores etc. pray to the Father and continue honoring your husband. God can reveal to him that he’s spending too much time away from home or on work or whatever it is. God doesn’t need you to tell his son what his problems are. If you trust yours and his Father, He will speak to your husband about his attitude and actions. Remember:
Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. (I Peter 3:1-2 NKJV)
You can only become a Proverbs 31 Woman by surrendering your whole heart and mind to Jesus Christ. If you cannot submit your fears and doubts and control to Him, you will never be able to walk in such nobility and selfless love. Once you repent of your sins and follow Jesus, He gives you His Holy Spirit to live inside of you and He helps you walk in a holy manner like God. If you try to do this apart from the Holy Spirit, you will fail.
Proverbs 31 Woman Prayer
Father in heaven, in Jesus’ name, I thank You for Your patience and kindness. I pray that You will strengthen me and give me Your patience and kindness, gentleness and humility. Help me to respect my husband, to walk in Your peace, and to serve in love. Dissolve all anger in my heart, I repent of it now in Jesus’ name, and ask that I will be pleased in pleasing You. I pray that my conduct will be praiseworthy and that my husband will repent of any disobedience to You in his life by watching my respectful behavior toward You and him. And help my children to learn gratitude and help me teach them it. Amen.