Is It Okay To Have Pre-marital Sex If I’m A Christian?

I received a heart-breaking email today that really upset the Holy Spirit within me. A sister was being told by her boyfriend it was okay to have premarital sex. He tried to tell her God condoned premarital sex in Numbers 31 when He told the Jews to take the virgin women. Her boyfriend completely assumed on Scripture and added to it, because nowhere did God tell the Jews to sleep with the women. Here’s what I found when looking into the passage:

“The Bible does address the issue of rape. As expected, when the Bible mentions the crime of rape, it is depicted as a gross violation of God’s design for the treatment of the human body (Genesis 34). The Bible condemns rape whenever it is mentioned. For example, there is a particular passage in the laws given to the nation of Israel before entering the Promised Land under Joshua’s leadership. This passage (Deuteronomy 22:13-29) spoke directly against forcing a woman into a sexual encounter against her will, or what we know today as rape. This command was meant to protect women and to protect the nation of Israel from committing sinful actions.

Deuteronomy 22:25-27 mentioned the punishment the Mosaic Law commanded for a man who raped a woman. The man was to be killed by stoning while the woman was considered innocent. Though the Mosaic Law was for the nation of Israel during the time of Moses, the principle is clear that rape was sinful in the eyes of God and led to the most extreme punishment possible—death for the rapist.

There are some difficult passages in the Old Testament, however, in relation to this issue. Critics of the Bible are quick to point to Numbers 31 (and other similar passages) in which the Israelites were allowed to take female captives from nations they conquered. Critics make the accusation that this is an example of the Bible condoning, or even promoting, rape. However, the passage says nothing about raping the captive women. It is wrong to assume that the captive women were to be raped. Again, Deuteronomy 22:25-27 condemns rape, even advocating the death penalty for perpetrators of rape. In the Numbers 31 passage the soldiers were commanded to purify themselves and their captives (verse 19). Rape would have violated this command (see Leviticus 15:16-18). The women who were taken captive are never referred to as sexual objects. Did the captive women likely eventually marry amongst the Israelites? Yes. Is there any indication that rape or sex slavery was forced upon the women? Absolutely not.”

read more here.

And here is further insight from my pastor:

“For this to make any sense we have to consider several factors: Gods ways are higher than ours. To qualify how this relates to the context of this particular passage (and their are others like it) we have to attempt to see and understand as God does. Humanity was very young. The medianites were full of diseases and very very evil. Beastiality, homosexuality, child rape, canabalisim, body mutilations, and human sacrifice just to name a few of their cultural practices. God is omniscient, as such He alone knows what the future would have looked like had this wickedness not been removed early on. It’s also important to note that not all Medianites were that evil only certain sectarian tribes turned so demonic they actually preyed on each other this group was one of them. One example is the fact that Mose’s wife was actually a Cushan Medianite, of a peaceful tribe. God had no beef with them. It’s actually like the genocide that took place in Uganda (all blacks but tribal differences) although it’s hard to grasp it was not murder but sentencing that was being carried out by the Israelites. We have to remember Gods plan for Israel was for the judgment and leading of the gentile nations in the righteousness of God but instead of leading in God’s ways they became seduced themselves. I digress…the reason the virgins and only the virgins were to be spared is because they were likely being kept virgins by the Medianites for human sacrifice. They were actually being rescued. To assume they would be abused, raped or mistreated is ridiculous considering the strict and new Levitical laws that were being zealously followed by the people of Israel. I’m sure those poor girls were quite relieved when they were taken out of the hell they were living in. It’s likely all others even children not set apart for sacrifice were depraved and possessed. Just look at what kids are doing to each other today because of porn. Imagine a culture where kids were being used for sex as early as 3 years old??? God ordering their termination was an act of mercy for the sake of humanity at large. It’s also worth noting that God never ordered the destruction of tribes for just not believing in Him but rather only when they violated the inner laws of the human heart so violently they became base and demonic. Termination of the demonic influences is the only solution as it will be again in the near future. God gives time for repentance but when that was up it was up to the judges (Israel) to do as He commanded.”

With all that said, it is clear sexual immorality was and is never condoned by our Holy God.

This was Paul’s commentary in 1 Corinthians 8 of the Jews Moses led out of Egypt:

“… all were baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea, and all drank the same spiritual drink. For they drank of that spiritual Rock that followed them, and that Rock was Christ. But with most of them God was not well pleased, for their bodies were scattered in the wilderness. Now these things became our examples, to the intent that we should not lust after evil things as they also lusted. And do not become idolaters as were some of them. As it is written, “The people sat down to eat and drink, and rose up to play.” Nor let us commit sexual immorality, as some of them did, and in one day twenty-three thousand fell; nor let us tempt Christ, as some of them also tempted, and were destroyed by serpents…” (I Corinthians‬ ‭10‬:‭2, 4-9‬ NKJV)

And let’s not forget all of these warnings:

“Finally then, brethren, we urge and exhort in the Lord Jesus that you should abound more and more, just as you received from us how you ought to walk and to please God; for you know what commandments we gave you through the Lord Jesus. For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one should take advantage of and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also forewarned you and testified. For God did not call us to uncleanness, but in holiness. Therefore he who rejects this does not reject man, but God, who has also given us His Holy Spirit.” (‭I Thessalonians‬ ‭4‬:‭1-8‬ NKJV)

“Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.” (‭I Corinthians‬ ‭6‬:‭9-10‬ NKJV)

“Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband…but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” (‭I Corinthians‬ ‭7‬:‭1-2, 9‬ NKJV)

“Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.” (‭I Corinthians‬ ‭6‬:‭18-20‬ NKJV)

Precious sisters, please do not allow yourself to be taken advantage of by a man who is adding to Scripture, which the bible says this of: “For I testify to everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: If anyone adds to these things, God will add to him the plagues that are written in this book.” (‭Revelation‬ ‭22‬:‭18‬ NKJV)

Those who practice sexual immorality without repenting will indeed go to hell. God is an avenger of all such. If you truly have the Holy Spirit, exercise self control! “Flee youthful lusts” as the bible commands. Fear God, sisters! Break away from this practice and sanctify yourself while you still have breath by God’s grace.

Praying for you,


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