my flesh is acting out because my spirit is starving

It hit me yesterday: my flesh is acting out because my spirit is starving. 
You are what you feed…spiritually speaking.
I’m still a pretty new mom–sixteen months in. Before Arrow was born, I would spend over an hour with God daily; worshipping Him, praying, reading the Word. But after Arrow was born, that all changed. And now that he’s a wild toddler, forget about it. I never get alone-time with God while my son is awake–and that was a problem–a huge problem.
See, we can’t be like Jesus if we’re not spending time with Jesus. Sure, there’s so much God has changed in my life and so many things I’ve overcome and so many ways I’ve grown, but I’m not finished yet. This work of art still has much more work to be done. 

Remember the story in the bible when Martha and her sister, Mary were hosting Jesus as their guest? Martha was, “distracted with much serving,” while Mary, “sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word.” 

Martha was focused on getting tasks done for Jesus while Mary was focused on spending time with Him. And when Martha complained about Mary’s lack of help, Jesus said:

“Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.”-‭‭Luke‬ ‭10:41-42‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

I have been Martha for the past sixteen months: task-focused, serving my family, and hardly spending intimate time with Jesus. And my lack of intimacy with Him was oozing out of me in bad ways.

As of last night I realized that because I’m a mom now, I must be super intentional and strategic with my me-and-Jesus-only time. I also need to be as purposeful with other ways I can get into His presence even in the midst of washing dishes and cleaning up after Arrow. 

My son still doesn’t nap much on his own–35 minutes tops and then he wants to sleep for another two hours on me or my husband. This will end before he’s two, but for now, I have to use even this time to focus on God.

I woke up at 5am today and spent time with Jesus. And my goodness, I feel so much more revived and Spirit-filled. My actions and attitudes are also reflecting it. For now, this is what I have to do if I want to function like the child of God I am and spend time with my Beloved. So far, so good.

How about you? How has a different season caused your alone-time with God to change? Are you in a similar boat, and also have to make sacrifices and decisions in order to guard alone-time with Jesus? If you haven’t yet, why not? Life is too short to waste. Get back on track with God today!

Much love, fam!

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Daughter of the King, married to a prince. Writer, actress, and my husband's side-kick filmmaker.

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