Modern Woman, Here I Come

Battling Biblical Womanhood, Making Room for A New Kind of Christian Woman


“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”-Romans 12:1-2

Arguably, since the 60s, for a whopping fifty-nine or so years, women have been marching into the work force, banging down men’s job-doors, putting on pants, and bringing in the bread. Before the 1960s, the vast majority of women in the world, for over 5,000 years were–and majority still are–getting married, bearing children, and staying at home/tending to/working outside on the property. But American women, who at first wanted the right to vote, something I don’t disagree with at the present time, became something much, much more: the desire to be like men.

This twisted–worldly–notion has and is seeping into the Church. Christian women are believing, whether they realize it or not, that men are better, or more privileged than they because men have to work hard, long hours, outside of the home from the sweat of their brow, or take on the brutal, potentially extremely traumatic “job” of killing other men in order to protect their families; that because of this, they’re worth more than a woman who primarily stays at home doing many motherly, familial, and household jobs.

This lie that women who do these different jobs were less-than men only got louder and louder, to the point where women can now pretty much do any “job” a man does, including killing people to defend the defenseless, and women brutally beating each other in a ring for the entertainment of spectators.

The fact remains: because men were paid to do different jobs, while women aren’t paid to bear and raise children–with the help of their husbands–does not mean men are superior. Bringing home money to CARE FOR your wife and children is simply a DIFFERENT job. Raising those children, being there for them, to really teach them–hands on–how to love and know the Lord, serve others, and work hard to someday provide for their own family, was and still is the primary and most important “job” there is for a married couple who have children. There was a BALANCE in one parent, the one who is physically stronger, having the innate protector and provider role literally built into their biology (testosterone and larger muscles), going out and working with other men outside of the home, while their wives worked inside/within the outdoor quarters of the home, where there was safety. It’s no secret women can be overpowered by men, and attacked/raped more easily and more regularly than men do–if men do at all! Cultures and societies knew this and so there was a respect, an honoring, and a wisdom in keeping their most invaluable earthly gifts, their wife and children, at home, where they could typically roam freely without concerns of being attacked, mobbed, robbed, or raped.

But now, women are everywhere in the work force, smack dab in the center of men, and sexual harassment is a huge problem for women. That problem would be entirely resolved if they weren’t in that environment to begin with, would you agree?

Now women of old weren’t forced to stay within their homes 24/7. Their household jobs did often require small commutes to wells or other outdoor provisions, but close by, in a small village where most everyone was family or extended family. And most women were very content in their jobs as wives and mothers. They weren’t surrounded by men, but mostly by women, being able to talk with and enjoy the presence and help of fellow women daily. They had–and many still do in the world today–close relationships with their mothers and sisters and aunts.

Contrast that with many American woman-to-woman relationships now-a-days. There’s a lot of competition, gossip, division, confusion, distance. Many mothers and daughters don’t get along, mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws especially, because there isn’t that close companionship and support. Think of the mother today whose mother or mother-in-law is able and willing to help DAILY with the children and household tasks. Often, that woman is very grateful and closer to her mother/mother-in-law than the woman who is working full-time outside of the home, and does not have that kind of support, so ends up putting her children in daycare to be watched by strangers, exposed to all sorts of ideologies and behaviors and customs, words and illnesses, even physical attacks or sexual abuse, many the mother will never know her child experienced.

But what if we stopped conforming to this new, post-1960s pattern of the world? What if we allowed, encouraged, and prayed for our husbands to be able to financially support all of our family’s needs while we stay at home taking care of said family and the dwelling we share with them? How much more respectful, smart, capable, and knowledgable about God and life would the Christian mother’s children be if she were at home with them all day, being an example before them as she does chores, spends time with God, and teaches them about Him during every meal, and as they do other things and household tasks together? How much less sick would our children get, being able to strengthen their immune systems by playing/exploring the outdoors and playing with one another, rather than being confined in close, four-walled, no windows or no open windows, quarters with over 10X as many children in less sanitary public schools? How much cleaner–not always, of course!–will our homes be? How much more orderly, and comfortable, and beautiful if it had a woman to take care of it for the majority of the day?

Yes, this post is for both married AND single Christian women alike. If you want to have sex someday, rather than pursuing a career that would place you in the center of many men, you should pray about and prepare yourself to be a godly wife and eventual mother. If you do not wish to be married, but only desire to serve the Lord, then seek and ask Him for opportunities where you can do just that, in ministry, alongside/working with other women, or for a godly leader, still with other women around, because although working in ministries with genuine children of God is more safe than secular environments, for the sake of “not having a hint of sexual immorality among you,” it’s best to not be exclusively around men, even men of God who are not completely immune to sin and aren’t always as godly as they should be.

Here are some of God’s standards for the roles, relationships and opportunities women in the Church, His daughters, have:

Honor widows who are really widows. But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents; for this is good and acceptable before God. Now she who is really a widow, and left alone, trusts in God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day. But she who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives. And these things command, that they may be blameless. But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

Do not let a widow under sixty years old be taken into the number, and not unless she has been the wife of one man, 10 well reported for good works: if she has brought up children, if she has lodged strangers, if she has washed the saints’ feet, if she has relieved the afflicted, if she has diligently followed every good work.

11 But refuse the younger widows; for when they have begun to grow wanton against Christ, they desire to marry, 12 having condemnation because they have cast off their first faith. 13 And besides they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which they ought not. 14 Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully. 15 For some have already turned aside after Satan. 16 If any believing man or woman has widows, let them relieve them, and do not let the church be burdened, that it may relieve those who are really widows.”-1 Timothy 5:3-16

“I desire therefore that the men pray everywhere, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting; in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, 10 but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works. 11 Let a woman learn in silence with all submission. 12 And I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man, but to be in silence. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression. 15 Nevertheless she will be saved in childbearing if they continue in faith, love, and holiness, with self-control.”-1 Timothy 2:8-15

Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
She brings her food from afar.
15 She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
From 
[c]her profits she plants a vineyard.
17 She girds herself with strength,
And strengthens her arms.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is good,
And her lamp does not go out by night.
19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hand holds the spindle.
20 She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
For all her household is clothed with scarlet.
22 She makes tapestry for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies sashes for the merchants.
25 Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates.
-Proverbs 31:10-31

If you’re a single Christian woman, there are areas you can safely serve and know that you are honoring God in those roles: honoring your father and mother, helping them at home; serving in a Christian nursing home or ministry for widows; serving the poor; earning income with your God-given gifts, but again, in a God-led manner; then using that income for the ministry of the gospel and for the poor.

If you are married, but think you MUST work to provide and send your children to public or private school, I lovingly challenge you to consider: are ALL things possible with God? Is God your number One provider, or are your husband and YOU the number one providers, and God the secondary provider? If God desires and has all of these commands and expectations of wives and mothers in the Church, is He incapable of providing the means for you to walk it out? I challenge your faith, and encourage you to bring the “I can’t because…” to God in prayer and ask Him to make a way so YOU CAN. It may not be what you THINK you want, but remember the first verse I shared:

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”-Romans 12:1-2

His will for His daughters, as clearly, and numerously laid out in the Scriptures, both Old and New, DESPITE popular worldly/secular belief, IS good, acceptable, and perfect, but only when you pray, seek, and pursue that will, will you discover this verse to be true.

Much love and as always, know your worth,

Let Jesus Save You From Your Whack Boyfriend

Natasha Sapienza

Jesus isn’t trying to rain on your parade; He simply desires to protect you from the storms that come from disobedience.

God is Love. Every single thing He does and says is good because He is Love. When He commands you not to be with an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6:14-18), He commands it from love. He knows every outcome, and desires to spare you from that so you won’t die. Sin, which is disobedience to God, ends in death.

When your heart is broken by this man, you may despair, or become bitter, and then never come back to the arms of True Love because you don’t believe a real, pure love exists. Or you get so caught up in the emotions of fake love (infatuation) that you’re distracted from the all-amazing, all-consuming Real Love; Jesus Himself.

If a man isn’t pointing you to Christ, chances are, although he genuinely…

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Ladies, Who Should You Fight For?

Sisters, do you view Jesus as someone totally worth living for, worth listening to and obeying, worth spending time with; worth loving? 

We love because He first loved us. Love literally is not possible in a world where Jesus does not exist. He showed us what love is and it’s Him! Plain and simple: God is love, Jesus and God are one. Outside of them, there is no perfect love. (1 John 4:16-19)

That means there isn’t a single human being on the planet–including yourself–who can “complete” or fulfill or love you sufficiently. 

True love paid the price to forever love you perfectly. Jesus died so if you stopped looking elsewhere for love, and instead trusted in His love, you can be forgiven for every single sin you’ve ever done or thought, and be freely welcomed into heaven where He will faithfully love you for all eternity! 

If He isn’t worthy, then who or what is more worthy than Him? What or who deserves more devotion and attention? 

I’ve been getting this conviction more and more to live to please Jesus. The world, movies, books, TV shows, music, it’s the most popular message out now: you should be pleased, you are number one. Humanism is really all about the human and his or her goodness and worthiness. The problem is, who in the world decides what’s good and why, and who is worthy and why? 

God is the whole reason behind morality. Without God, morality will eventually crumble and decay until there’s nothing left of it. Don’t believe me? Take a look at our society and how much we’ve fallen. We are now becoming evermore what this biblical prophecy described would happen in the last times:

You should know this, Timothy, that in the last days there will be very difficult times. For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that!They are the kind who work their way into people’s homes and win the confidence of vulnerable women who are burdened with the guilt of sin and controlled by various desires.(Such women are forever following new teachings, but they are never able to understand the truth.)-2 Timothy 33:1-7

Today I will fight the devil and my own selfish desires that shout, “Live for you! Do what you want!” And instead, I will fight to love and please Jesus. Will you?

How To Defeat The Two Forms Of Temptation

Natasha Sapienza

I pray for you precious sisters every day. I love you all and it is my great desire to see you walk in power, faithfulness, and the blessedness of the Lord by your obedience to Him. I want to talk to you ladies about the practical instructions given to us in several places in the bible: “Flee youthful lusts; Run from temptation.”

I believe as Christians, our flesh has been crucified because the bible tells us it has, but if you feed the flesh long enough, you can fall into sin. There are two forms of temptation. The first is what I’ll call Satanic Set-ups. Sometimes, the devil sets us up. In Job chapter one, Satan goes to God and asks if he can tempt Job to blaspheme by taking away his belongings. In Luke chapter four, Jesus is just following the Spirit as always, and Satan shows up to…

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Is Modesty the Best Policy?

There’s a new phenomenon in American fashion: super-duper, bottom-of-butt-cheek short-shorts and midriff-exposing shirts. To many of us ladies, it’s all just cute. We walk around like baby unicorns rather than the enticing mares we are. We are, after all, women, not little girls. (Click to Tweet)

However, I’m preachin’ to the Christian woman.

Girl, I first of all commend you for professing Christ in a time where it is beyond taboo to do so. There’s so much mockery and disrespect out their toward Jesus and His children. It takes guts to claim Him as Lord so again, for that, I commend you, sister. Keep it up, for He who confesses Christ before others, Christ will likewise confess before His Heavenly Father on the day you face them (Matthew 10:32-33).

Remember how deeply Jesus loves you and how patient He is with you. But He’s patient because there’s something He’s waiting for: our sanctification. God doesn’t save us just so we can go to heaven as is. He saves us as is to give us access to heaven, but He also transforms us in the process. But it’s a relationship that goes both ways.

There’s things I’ve done to annoy my husband and displease him. And there’s things my husband has done to annoy and displease me. What looks like greater love: if I say, “Well suck it up and take the good with the bad.” Or instead, “I hear you, love, I’ll work on it because I want to make you happy.”

If Jesus says, “Immodesty displeases Me, but modesty makes Me happy,” what would your response be?

And Jesus DIED FOR YOU. He gave us everything so if He wants us to cover up some, will we die? Well, Jesus did command us to take up our cross, deny ourselves and follow Him (Matthew 16:24-26). And the Bible speaks of “crucifying our flesh.” (Galatians 5:24)

There will certainly be many times as a daughter of God where Heavenly Daddy will say, “Don’t do this, don’t do that. I want you to do this, I want you to do that,” and those commands will be hard; they will take some sacrifice–sacrificing our pride and our desires.

It’s preached incessantly by the world, “Do what makes YOU happy.” But as a daughter of God, as a Christian, we are commanded the opposite: deny yourself, crucify your selfish desires, don’t just look out for your own interests, but for the interests of others as well (Philippians 2:4); love even your enemies (Matthew 5:43-48).

Still wanna be a daughter of God?

Did I tell you JESUS DIED FOR YOU? If someone dies for you and will literally take you by the hand and pick you up whenever you fall, countlessly forgiving you and taking you back, and then lead you to heaven’s gates where He will love you for all eternity with a perfect love, is it really too much to ask to live a life that’s devoted to loving Him back?

“If You love Me, keep My commandments. And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever—the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you.(John 14:15-17)

Did ya catch that? Jesus tells us to obey His very difficult commandments, but then immediately after, He promises that He will give us a Helper to help us obey! And this Spirit will show us the truth and literally live inside of us so we can walk it out!

Ah, indeed, there is no God like our God. And that, my sweet sister, is why you should pursue modesty.

 

Know your worth,

Natasha ❤


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Why I’ll Let a Man Open the Door For Me

It’s a sad day when a woman refuses to allow a man to open the door for her.

I enjoy being treated differently by men because I am different from them.

Holding the door open is an act of service, a nod of respect, and a show of honor. The woman who deems it offensive has insecurity issues: she’s insecure in her body, which happens to be female, so she recoils at a reminder of that fact, even a typically pleasant one. The man who is opening the door has no intentions of belittling her or bullying her; he considers it polite because it’s been an age-old gesture created to display just that: politeness. Why were men taught this? Because they were told that women should be recognized and honored for who they are.

A man opening the door for you is also saying, “Let me help you, not because you can’t yourself, but because I want the privilege of doing it for you.” Now God forbid a man helps a woman. I wonder how the feminist would act if she tried to help a man and he told her, “Don’t, I don’t need your help.” She’d cuss him out, toss a drink in his face or slam her hand across it.

A few decades ago, what our older—often wiser—generation deemed as polite, our younger—statistically more “mentally ill”—generation deems offensive and oppressive. “I am woman. Don’t dare open a door for me, that’s sexist and highly offensive. But you better cuss and talk dirty around me.”

It appears many women in my generation are blowing themselves up like balloons with this anti-man pride and racism, and it’s silly to say the least.

“She’s just like one of the guys.” Uh, no thanks. I’m not a man so I don’t want to be treated like one. (Click to Tweet)

Lost in the Pro-Choice Sea

Now let’s touch on abortion, lauded as the ultimate human right for a woman. “It’s my body! You men better not tell me what to do with it!”

Correction: it is not just your body; there’s a second body living within you that belongs to someone else.

Now how about that apartment you’re leasing or that house you got a loan from the bank for: Technically, that home isn’t yours, it’s the lessor’s or the bank’s. So if they decide you are an unwanted inconvenience, they should be able to enter “your” home with a metal clamp and tear off all of your limbs and then rip your head from your shoulders and throw your remains in the trash outside, or better yet, sell them and earn some profit. It should be their ultimate right and what if they began fighting passionately for it? Would you hope someone defends you, or would you agree and let them pursue the right to murder their tenants?

Ah women, we once prided ourselves in building up the very men who would work hard to make a living in order to support us and a family because we were worthy enough to sweat and labor for, and what we have to offer—children and a safe nurturing place to call home—were worth toiling for.

Now, we pride ourselves in lewdness and murdering the very children that we alone are special enough to create and sustain from within. Instead of building up that next generation, we want people to help pay for their annihilation.

That’s not what it inherently and naturally means to be a woman, for what thousands of years women innately knew about themselves and embraced. In fact, this new pride is completely opposing to what it means to be a woman.

I am a woman. I cannot change the fact that I was born into a body designed to create and sustain human life. I cannot deny the pain I felt when my body failed to produce that life and the fear that I would never be able to perform and enjoy that kind of miracle. I cannot help but help, to support, to encourage and teach those around me to fight for what’s right, both female and male. It’s engrained in my natural design and these roles I play are crucial. They are so infinitely important that no one would exist if my incredible female body didn’t do what it’s been doing for millenniums. It is because of this wonderful body that there is life on this earth.

So no, I will not deny who I am and fight to destroy my identity as a woman and destroy the next generation with it; to create less and less life. Ha, can you imagine if every woman decided to stop making children? Hello extinction.

Rather, I will enjoy when a man chooses to open the door for me because he sees me, he knows I’m different from him, and he honors my womanhood. I’ll smile at him and say, “Thank you.”


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When Your Man Turns Into the Green Goblin

I went into my bedroom to put my two-month-old, Viera, to sleep, leaving a cup of green smoothie on the table. My three-year-old, Arrow, tagged along, playing on my bed. Five minutes later, I wondered what my 22-month-old, Braven, was doing. He’d gotten awfully quiet. I lay my baby down and had Arrow join me to catch up on Braven. I glanced around our 1,099 sq foot apartment. “Braven, where are you?”

No response.

“Braven?”

But before I could begin panicking, I spotted him beneath our dining table. Green smoothie soaked his blonde curls and hands, and painted his face. And he smeared the smoothie across the table and on a chair for good measure. Evidence:

And it hit me: It only took five minutes for my middle-child to turn into the Green Goblin. And how many women can say the same regarding their boyfriend or husband?

In the beginning of your relationship, perhaps for the first six months, he’s Mr. Osborne, confident and charming, but then somewhere along the line he starts becoming jealous, controlling, manipulating, verbally abusive perhaps, or a heavy drinker. And then one day, you realize your Mr. Osborne has become the evil Green Goblin.

“How could I have missed it?” You wonder. But alas, here you are, and the question now is: “What do I do about it?” Hopefully, this short advice will help.

When to Spider-Man kick your Green Goblin to the curb

If you’re a girlfriend, i.e, you’re not a wife, but your boyfriend becomes a disrespectful, name-calling bully, or a liar, or a cheat, he’s gotta go.

Now Christian sister, you know how God is all-knowing and can tell the future? Statistics show that unmarried women living with a boyfriend (having sex) are a lot more likely to experience physical abuse, suicide, and a higher divorce rate.

God, in His goodness, kindness and most importantly, from love, commands His children not to fornicate (have premarital sex). The cost of engaging in that kind of sexual immorality is the kingdom of heaven itself. It’s serious. God is super holy and though He loves you beyond comprehension, there’s certain sins He absolutely cannot tolerate, just as I myself, as a much less holy mother, will not tolerate certain sins in my home.

So being children of God, He does have expectations and does still punish those He has accepted in Christ. My encouragement is that if you’re in a sexual relationship, to repent by telling your guy he needs to respect you or you’re out.

Indeed, as 1 Corinthians 13:4 says, “Love suffer long.” If your boyfriend really loves you, he can suffer a while until he’s honorable and mature enough to make you his wife. (Click to Tweet)

When You’re Married to a Green Goblin

Christian wife, I know it hurts, but you also have to long-suffer for your husband (but if he’s physically abusive, get out and get safe). But if you’re disappointed in the man he’s become, I ask you to role play. If you were the one really struggling, would you want him to give up on you, or would you hope he’d keep his promise to be with you through good times and in bad? God sees the future, remember? Apparently, married couples who stick it out, even if it’s years of suffering, end up happier than those who chose divorce.

It’s all a matter of truly trusting God versus just saying you do. God wants us to love even our own enemies, and Paul exhorts the Christian spouse who has an unbelieving wife or husband to stick it out: your example could be used by God to bring that person to Christ, and nonetheless, your children will be made holy because of your godliness.

I remember how long God put up with me loving and idolizing guys and relationships and it humbles me. Think of how long God has and still does put up with you and all of your sin. And if you’ve placed your trust in Christ, you are way stronger than Spider-Man for, “He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.” (1 John 4:4)

Christ in you is stronger than your husband’s sins and failures, and stronger than Satan, who wants to destroy the both of you, starting with your marriage. (Click to Tweet)

For when two are in agreement in Christ, they are a serious force to be reckoned with: “On this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell will not prevail against it.” (Matthew 16:18)

Two Christians can storm the gates of hell, tearing down its stronghold on others, and set captives free.

Satan is it out to steal, kill and destroy everyone, but especially the Christian, and that includes your husband. (Click to Tweet)

Beg Jesus to fill you and strengthen you so you can stop fighting against your husband and instead, be the superhero who fights for him. (Click to Tweet)

And who but God knows when that Green Goblin of yours will change again, and this time, transforming into the man of Christ God wants him to be.


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