Battling Biblical Womanhood, Making Room for A New Kind of Christian Woman
“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. 2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”-Romans 12:1-2
Arguably, since the 60s, for a whopping fifty-nine or so years, women have been marching into the work force, banging down men’s job-doors, putting on pants, and bringing in the bread. Before the 1960s, the vast majority of women in the world, for over 5,000 years were–and majority still are–getting married, bearing children, and staying at home/tending to/working outside on the property. But American women, who at first wanted the right to vote, something I don’t disagree with at the present time, became something much, much more: the desire to be like men.
This twisted–worldly–notion has and is seeping into the Church. Christian women are believing, whether they realize it or not, that men are better, or more privileged than they because men have to work hard, long hours, outside of the home from the sweat of their brow, or take on the brutal, potentially extremely traumatic “job” of killing other men in order to protect their families; that because of this, they’re worth more than a woman who primarily stays at home doing many motherly, familial, and household jobs.
This lie that women who do these different jobs were less-than men only got louder and louder, to the point where women can now pretty much do any “job” a man does, including killing people to defend the defenseless, and women brutally beating each other in a ring for the entertainment of spectators.
The fact remains: because men were paid to do different jobs, while women aren’t paid to bear and raise children–with the help of their husbands–does not mean men are superior. Bringing home money to CARE FOR your wife and children is simply a DIFFERENT job. Raising those children, being there for them, to really teach them–hands on–how to love and know the Lord, serve others, and work hard to someday provide for their own family, was and still is the primary and most important “job” there is for a married couple who have children. There was a BALANCE in one parent, the one who is physically stronger, having the innate protector and provider role literally built into their biology (testosterone and larger muscles), going out and working with other men outside of the home, while their wives worked inside/within the outdoor quarters of the home, where there was safety. It’s no secret women can be overpowered by men, and attacked/raped more easily and more regularly than men do–if men do at all! Cultures and societies knew this and so there was a respect, an honoring, and a wisdom in keeping their most invaluable earthly gifts, their wife and children, at home, where they could typically roam freely without concerns of being attacked, mobbed, robbed, or raped.
But now, women are everywhere in the work force, smack dab in the center of men, and sexual harassment is a huge problem for women. That problem would be entirely resolved if they weren’t in that environment to begin with, would you agree?
Now women of old weren’t forced to stay within their homes 24/7. Their household jobs did often require small commutes to wells or other outdoor provisions, but close by, in a small village where most everyone was family or extended family. And most women were very content in their jobs as wives and mothers. They weren’t surrounded by men, but mostly by women, being able to talk with and enjoy the presence and help of fellow women daily. They had–and many still do in the world today–close relationships with their mothers and sisters and aunts.
Contrast that with many American woman-to-woman relationships now-a-days. There’s a lot of competition, gossip, division, confusion, distance. Many mothers and daughters don’t get along, mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws especially, because there isn’t that close companionship and support. Think of the mother today whose mother or mother-in-law is able and willing to help DAILY with the children and household tasks. Often, that woman is very grateful and closer to her mother/mother-in-law than the woman who is working full-time outside of the home, and does not have that kind of support, so ends up putting her children in daycare to be watched by strangers, exposed to all sorts of ideologies and behaviors and customs, words and illnesses, even physical attacks or sexual abuse, many the mother will never know her child experienced.
But what if we stopped conforming to this new, post-1960s pattern of the world? What if we allowed, encouraged, and prayed for our husbands to be able to financially support all of our family’s needs while we stay at home taking care of said family and the dwelling we share with them? How much more respectful, smart, capable, and knowledgable about God and life would the Christian mother’s children be if she were at home with them all day, being an example before them as she does chores, spends time with God, and teaches them about Him during every meal, and as they do other things and household tasks together? How much less sick would our children get, being able to strengthen their immune systems by playing/exploring the outdoors and playing with one another, rather than being confined in close, four-walled, no windows or no open windows, quarters with over 10X as many children in less sanitary public schools? How much cleaner–not always, of course!–will our homes be? How much more orderly, and comfortable, and beautiful if it had a woman to take care of it for the majority of the day?
Yes, this post is for both married AND single Christian women alike. If you want to have sex someday, rather than pursuing a career that would place you in the center of many men, you should pray about and prepare yourself to be a godly wife and eventual mother. If you do not wish to be married, but only desire to serve the Lord, then seek and ask Him for opportunities where you can do just that, in ministry, alongside/working with other women, or for a godly leader, still with other women around, because although working in ministries with genuine children of God is more safe than secular environments, for the sake of “not having a hint of sexual immorality among you,” it’s best to not be exclusively around men, even men of God who are not completely immune to sin and aren’t always as godly as they should be.
Here are some of God’s standards for the roles, relationships and opportunities women in the Church, His daughters, have:
3 Honor widows who are really widows. 4 But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents; for this is good and acceptable before God. 5 Now she who is really a widow, and left alone, trusts in God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day. 6 But she who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives. 7 And these things command, that they may be blameless. 8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
9 Do not let a widow under sixty years old be taken into the number, and not unless she has been the wife of one man, 10 well reported for good works: if she has brought up children, if she has lodged strangers, if she has washed the saints’ feet, if she has relieved the afflicted, if she has diligently followed every good work.
11 But refuse the younger widows; for when they have begun to grow wanton against Christ, they desire to marry, 12 having condemnation because they have cast off their first faith. 13 And besides they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which they ought not. 14 Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully. 15 For some have already turned aside after Satan. 16 If any believing man or woman has widows, let them relieve them, and do not let the church be burdened, that it may relieve those who are really widows.”-1 Timothy 5:3-16
“I desire therefore that the men pray everywhere, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting; 9 in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, 10 but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works. 11 Let a woman learn in silence with all submission. 12 And I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man, but to be in silence. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression. 15 Nevertheless she will be saved in childbearing if they continue in faith, love, and holiness, with self-control.”-1 Timothy 2:8-15
Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
She brings her food from afar.
15 She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
From [c]her profits she plants a vineyard.
17 She girds herself with strength,
And strengthens her arms.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is good,
And her lamp does not go out by night.
19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hand holds the spindle.
20 She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
For all her household is clothed with scarlet.
22 She makes tapestry for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies sashes for the merchants.
25 Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates.“-Proverbs 31:10-31
If you’re a single Christian woman, there are areas you can safely serve and know that you are honoring God in those roles: honoring your father and mother, helping them at home; serving in a Christian nursing home or ministry for widows; serving the poor; earning income with your God-given gifts, but again, in a God-led manner; then using that income for the ministry of the gospel and for the poor.
If you are married, but think you MUST work to provide and send your children to public or private school, I lovingly challenge you to consider: are ALL things possible with God? Is God your number One provider, or are your husband and YOU the number one providers, and God the secondary provider? If God desires and has all of these commands and expectations of wives and mothers in the Church, is He incapable of providing the means for you to walk it out? I challenge your faith, and encourage you to bring the “I can’t because…” to God in prayer and ask Him to make a way so YOU CAN. It may not be what you THINK you want, but remember the first verse I shared:
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. 2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”-Romans 12:1-2
His will for His daughters, as clearly, and numerously laid out in the Scriptures, both Old and New, DESPITE popular worldly/secular belief, IS good, acceptable, and perfect, but only when you pray, seek, and pursue that will, will you discover this verse to be true.
Much love and as always, know your worth,