Me and Sir Jonathan’s TRUE supernatural love story is now on Wattpad!

I quickly tossed the bags in a bin by the counter as Chris did the same, and then turned to leave.

“Wait,” he said.

I halted, my heart beginning to pound, and then slowly faced him. He stepped forward, his deep, brown eyes rapt on me. And without any more warning, he took my face in his hands and pressed his supple lips against mine. My muscles tensed and I froze. Is this really happening right now? I closed my eyes, even though doing so felt like a crime. His kiss held much of the same weakening effect it had on me last time, but anxiety combated some of it. The fear of getting hurt again gripped me just as much as his kiss did.

After a very long moment he released me. “I really like you, Natasha…a lot.”

I blinked at him, my tongue still frozen. Thoughts fumbled around my mind in a drunken stupor despite having not drank. Did he just say-but how-I thought he-Heat filled my cheeks as I smiled. Maybe now isn’t the time to process Chris’s antics. He returned the gesture. But surprisingly, it wasn’t that pleased/amused smile. It was…different. It looked tender, genuine…


“You scared me,” I said.

“I’m sorry.” Dace slid his hands onto my hips and kissed me.

I caressed the back of his head, my heartbeat slowing as I pressed my body closer to his. His warm torso felt like stone. I pulled back and peered into his eyes.

“There’s something so mystical about you.” Dace stared with a passion that seared into the depths of me.

“Mystical? How so?”

“Just the way you move or don’t move. There’s a charm about you that I’ve never seen before.”
—-
The Phantom Lover, the Dark Angel, and the Dream Prince.

My name is Natasha, and this is my true, supernatural love story.

The way me and Jonathan came together is nothing short of supernatural. It sounds like a YA fiction novel so I decided why not write it in the style of one? It’s written in first-person point of view, and you’re experiencing my relationships as I experienced them. You get to be in my teenage head, and as if watching a Netflix show unfold, you’ll go on a journey from my first love at seventeen-years-old to meeting my true love at nineteen. But before you get to enjoy my happy ending, strap on your seatbelt, because I take you through the rollercoaster I experienced in the two relationships leading up to my last and present one.

Are you ready?

Start reading my ongoing, true, supernatural love story absolutely free on Wattpad now. 

Are you praying about your relationship?

Yesterday at church service, the pastor quoted an amazing Christian woman, Corrie ten Boom:

“Is prayer your steering wheel, or your spare tire?”

There are countless bible verses about how God specifically has plans for people, and directs them…but, there’s a condition: they must SEEK His plan. That means God has a plan even for your relationships and especially for who you marry.

Early early on, me and Jonathan sought God for our relationship. Four months in, Jonathan really gave Him the steering wheel.

We began to pray and ask God about if He wanted us to get married. There were three times in particular that I cried (literally was crying) out to God about speaking to me on if I should be with Jonathan or not. Even though I loved Jonathan so much and believed he was who God wanted me to be with, I obeyed Proverbs 3:6-9, which says to trust in God with all your heart and to not to lean on your own understanding, but to acknowledge Him in all of your ways so that He can direct your paths.

Trust in God is more than saying you trust Him and believing that you trust Him. It is actually going to Him for advice, listening to that advice, and then applying it. Real trust is doing whatever God tells you to do, and great trust is listening to and obeying Him even when you don’t FEEL like it. 

So, my honest to God best advice I can give you precious princesses is to really really seek God by:

a) asking Him to really speak to you on if you should continue in this relationship or not/ask if this is really the man God wants you to marry and

b) ask God to make it clear to you by speaking clearly to you through the Bible. Go to your bible, open it, and ask God to speak, and I promise you, when you do that, suddenly those words become very very specific and personal to what you’re going through and you just KNOW God is speaking to you. Then,

c) once you have heard Him speak, you obey. You apply whatever it is He told you to do and TRUST that He TRULY knows BEST, better than you; that unlike you, He can see the future, and knows the very BEST path for your life.

Another good test of your trust is to see if you’re afraid of whatever God’s answer may be. It might be to stay with the guy, but it may be to not stay with Him. Can you trust that despite whatever the answer is, God knows best, and EVERY decision and plan He has for you is truly for YOUR best interest as well as everyone else’s who’s involved, and that God LOVES you more than you love yourself and more than anyone else loves you, and that His decision is literally motivated by both perfect love and perfect wisdom.

I don’t want you to miss out on the amazing plans God has for your life, and God is even more passionate that you don’t miss them. My prayer for you today is that you really come to trust and understand His incredible love for you, and that you grow more and more confident in it so that you become more and more obedient when He tells you to do something, knowing that He is good and deeply loves you, and whatever He commands you is for your good.

Until next time, know your worth. -Natasha

“Don’t Cheat On Your Future Spouse” News!

Who remembers this:

image.jpeg

Well, read on 🙂

By the time I was sixteen, I became a pro at falling in infatuation with guys, and they were pros at falling out of infatuation with me.

The definition of infatuation is literally:

“an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something.”

But God redeemed my break up expertise and now, after being happily married for almost seven years, I have some wisdom to share so you can stop cheating on your future spouse and instead prepare for him or her.

Are you a single Christian waiting for a spouse? Have you tasted the waters of different men or women in search of “the one,” only to walk away thirsty? Is there a best way to prepare for your future husband or wife?

In this short, easy to grasp eBook, single Christians will learn how to not cheat on their future spouse, and how best to prepare for him or her.

If you’ve seen my “Don’t Cheat On Your Future Spouse” YouTube video and want to have a more in-depth and practical guide on this topic, Don’t Cheat On Your Future Spouse is for you!

Get it here on Amazon for Kindle eReader or for the free Kindle app.

Until next time, ladies, know your worth!

Here’s Why We Were Created

 

“I give waters in the wilderness And rivers in the desert, To give drink to My people, My chosen. This [insert your name] I have formed for Myself; [she] shall declare My praise.”
Isaiah‬ ‭43:20-21‬ ‭NKJV

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Let that marinate in your brain. If you are a Christian, God chose you. God formed you for Himself so that you would declare His praise.

The Perfect Creator, the One all will someday bow before, picked you; He picked me. Why?

Because I knew you would pick Me. I formed you to be loved by Me, and I by you.

Do we grasp this? I mean really? How can we? The closest earthly picture I can fathom to even begin understanding why on earth God just wants to love us and be loved by us is my son.

Before I got pregnant, I longed for a child. Interestingly, the longer I walked with Jesus, growing more like Him, the stronger this desire became. It was so great, I wanted a child so immensely, I just remember falling to my knees during worship and weeping.

But why? Why did I want a kid so bad? Because though I didn’t think this at the time, because I never had a child so my brain couldn’t compute this, my heart, my spirit knew that I would so love and enjoy a child. It was and is a supernatural instinct. That’s the only way this makes any sense at all. Because if you’ve had a child you understand all the discomfort and pain pregnancy and birth brings, and all the extreme exhaustion and difficulty caring for a child entails. It just does not naturally make sense to so deeply desire something that takes such hard work and makes us so vulnerable.

When a child rebels, it absolutely breaks a loving parent’s heart. My dad was a marine. He is one of the toughest if not thee toughest men I know, but when he found out my sister was on crack for a week, he was destroyed. When he broke down in front of her, it so moved her, she stopped doing it.

We were created in Christ’s image. Our desire to love and be loved is not natural, it is godly. Though we can grow up and choose our own path, rejecting Him and utterly breaking God’s heart, He loves us enough to make us anyway because He knows that some of us will love Him back. And to Him, that’s worth it; we’re worth it.

If you didn’t know what your purpose was, you do now: to love God and be loved by Him. Praise God indeed. What an amazing reality. As time goes on, and we continue holding Christ’s hand, I pray we grasp this truth evermore deeply because God wants us to.

“I made known to them your name, and I will continue to make it known, that the love with which you have loved me may be in them, and I in them.”-Jesus (John 17:26)

Letter To My Hero Husband

Jonathan Derek Sapienza, strong, beautiful weapon of righteousness. You remind me of Phoenix from Bryan Davis’s Reapers novels, with your devotion to godly principles, but of course, you are better because you’re also a son of God.
I want you to know I truly mean every word I’m writing. You really do weather me, you keep me balanced, you always hold me back from jumping off a cliff. You are truly my pillar, a strong foundation upon which I stand, and when I’m running in the wrong direction, you capture me and pull me back to safety.

I am speaking about one of your greatest gifts: discernment and wisdom. Proverbs says much about wisdom: it protects, it guides, it opens doors, it brings favor, and most importantly, it is the chief of all principles. After love, everything flows from wisdom. “The fear of The Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” You certainly have the fear of the Lord, and I am an eyewitness of your ever-expanding wisdom.

This wisdom has grounded me, has kept me so many times from making foolish decisions and hurting myself. After being married to you, and experiencing just how much your godly wisdom and discernment has protected me, I see now that Adam’s wisdom and discernment was given to Him by God to protect Eve. Like all women, her emotions drove her. Her emotions, though a beautiful gift, were also her greatest vulnerability, and they began dragging her toward an extremely dangerous situation. This was when her husband was supposed to be her hero and rescue her. He had the wisdom and discernment to know that what was happening between her and satan was wrong, but he did not intervene.

I am so blessed, Jonathan, so grateful to be able to say that you, my precious husband, have always intervened. There were times in my stubbornness and passion that I did not listen and submit to your loving wisdom, and I suffered the consequences. But you, my faithful companion and hero, have always been there to lift me in your arms, carry me home, and nurse my wounds. You never shame me or scorn me for my foolishness and stubbornness. You are tender and graceful toward me and I absolutely treasure you, dear prince.

Though I’ve gotten wiser from more time with our Lord and from watching your example, there are still moments that I fail to submit to your caring guidance, but since Christ continues to flourish in your godly heart, you have only become more graceful and patient with me. This beautiful reflection of our kind Savior and Lord leaves me breathless.

I recall pastor John reading Ephesians to us as we stood at the altar:

““Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.” (‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭5:25-29‬)

O, precious beloved of mine, in our marriage, you have never—ever—asked me or enticed me to sin. You ensure what we watch is not sexually enticing or perverse or wicked; you gently help guard my heart, my mind, my eyes and my ears, as you likewise do for yourself. I watch you; your pure heart is clearly displayed in your loving actions. Christ’s purity in you is clearly manifested, shining off you, son of God.

If I could choose to go back in time and marry any of the godly men I know now, I would always choose you. You are a man after God’s own heart; a man of strong morale, granite character, and gentle strength. You are not a forceful wind, you are a gentle, guiding and refreshing breeze. You are a warrior prince with the breastplate of righteousness, a soldier who carries the sword, but is careful, patient, and wise in how and when you wield it. I am a warrior princess who practically never has her sword sheathed, and often swings too soon. You gently place your hand upon mine and lower my sword. You guide it back to the sheath and gently train my hands for God’s war of rescuing souls from our enemy’s clutches.

Too often, I allow the busyness of life to consume me, and I do not ponder and meditate on the amazingly wonderful gift I have been given. As so many words poured forth from my heart, I was taken aback by just how blessed I am.

My leader, my knight, may God so bless me and Arrow with many more years under the shelter of your loving guidance. I love you with all of my heart.

I Really Want A Boyfriend, What Do I Do?

To my O so precious younger sisters in Christ:

Before I stopped chasing guys, and pursued Jesus, I treated God like medicine. I used Him when I felt bad, but once He made me better, I stopped taking Him in. Instead, I put Him away, and kept hurting myself with relationships I wasn’t ready for. 

And though I didn’t know it until I was eighteen-years-old, that’s the reason I kept craving a boyfriend. I was looking for the love only Jesus could give me. I wasn’t satisfied because I kept leaving God and not listening to Him. I kept ditching Him and getting into relationships. I didn’t need a boyfriend, I needed Jesus. When I finally realized that, I stopped pursuing guys and started really pursuing Jesus. He began flooding my life with love and joy and for once in my life I FINALLY didn’t need or care to have a boyfriend or attention from a guy. 

And guess what else? When I was ready for marriage (believe it or not, at age eighteen, after I surrendered to Jesus, I didn’t want a boyfriend anymore, but I looked forward to some day having a husband. I met Jon and we were ready by a year. After a year and two months, he proposed. 

Being ready for marriage within a year or so is super important because of sexual temptation. As our pastor who married us would say, “if you’re in a relationship and not married by a year, you’re playing with fire.” So at 14, you’ll have to wait at least four years to be physical with your husband. You think you could really refrain that long the more and more you begin liking a guy? That’s why teenage relationships are very dangerous.

I know it can be especially hard going to public or private school, and God knows your friends are probably boy crazy, but when you allow Jesus to blow your mind with His love, you’ll be strong enough to wait on your future husband, and you’ll be the girl your friends come to when they’re heart broken and going through boy drama. If you find that satisfaction in Jesus and no longer seek a guy’s attention, it will be such a powerful example, you’ll be so extremely different, God will use you to save your unsaved friends. 

Remember, YOU are the light your friends NEED. As a Christian, you alone have what they need to escape heart break AND more importantly, hell. 

Maybe try to switch your focus and instead of finding your identity as some cute guy’s girlfriend, you realize you’re so much more special than that. You’re like a superhero, saving souls from the devil’s grip on their life. You’re a warrior princess, a leader among your friends and younger family members, placed in their lives by God’s will. You have a great mission. Will you train yourself for that mission, or train yourself to just be another girl guys use?


Praying for you,


Natasha