Modern Woman, Here I Come

Battling Biblical Womanhood, Making Room for A New Kind of Christian Woman


“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”-Romans 12:1-2

Arguably, since the 60s, for a whopping fifty-nine or so years, women have been marching into the work force, banging down men’s job-doors, putting on pants, and bringing in the bread. Before the 1960s, the vast majority of women in the world, for over 5,000 years were–and majority still are–getting married, bearing children, and staying at home/tending to/working outside on the property. But American women, who at first wanted the right to vote, something I don’t disagree with at the present time, became something much, much more: the desire to be like men.

This twisted–worldly–notion has and is seeping into the Church. Christian women are believing, whether they realize it or not, that men are better, or more privileged than they because men have to work hard, long hours, outside of the home from the sweat of their brow, or take on the brutal, potentially extremely traumatic “job” of killing other men in order to protect their families; that because of this, they’re worth more than a woman who primarily stays at home doing many motherly, familial, and household jobs.

This lie that women who do these different jobs were less-than men only got louder and louder, to the point where women can now pretty much do any “job” a man does, including killing people to defend the defenseless, and women brutally beating each other in a ring for the entertainment of spectators.

The fact remains: because men were paid to do different jobs, while women aren’t paid to bear and raise children–with the help of their husbands–does not mean men are superior. Bringing home money to CARE FOR your wife and children is simply a DIFFERENT job. Raising those children, being there for them, to really teach them–hands on–how to love and know the Lord, serve others, and work hard to someday provide for their own family, was and still is the primary and most important “job” there is for a married couple who have children. There was a BALANCE in one parent, the one who is physically stronger, having the innate protector and provider role literally built into their biology (testosterone and larger muscles), going out and working with other men outside of the home, while their wives worked inside/within the outdoor quarters of the home, where there was safety. It’s no secret women can be overpowered by men, and attacked/raped more easily and more regularly than men do–if men do at all! Cultures and societies knew this and so there was a respect, an honoring, and a wisdom in keeping their most invaluable earthly gifts, their wife and children, at home, where they could typically roam freely without concerns of being attacked, mobbed, robbed, or raped.

But now, women are everywhere in the work force, smack dab in the center of men, and sexual harassment is a huge problem for women. That problem would be entirely resolved if they weren’t in that environment to begin with, would you agree?

Now women of old weren’t forced to stay within their homes 24/7. Their household jobs did often require small commutes to wells or other outdoor provisions, but close by, in a small village where most everyone was family or extended family. And most women were very content in their jobs as wives and mothers. They weren’t surrounded by men, but mostly by women, being able to talk with and enjoy the presence and help of fellow women daily. They had–and many still do in the world today–close relationships with their mothers and sisters and aunts.

Contrast that with many American woman-to-woman relationships now-a-days. There’s a lot of competition, gossip, division, confusion, distance. Many mothers and daughters don’t get along, mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws especially, because there isn’t that close companionship and support. Think of the mother today whose mother or mother-in-law is able and willing to help DAILY with the children and household tasks. Often, that woman is very grateful and closer to her mother/mother-in-law than the woman who is working full-time outside of the home, and does not have that kind of support, so ends up putting her children in daycare to be watched by strangers, exposed to all sorts of ideologies and behaviors and customs, words and illnesses, even physical attacks or sexual abuse, many the mother will never know her child experienced.

But what if we stopped conforming to this new, post-1960s pattern of the world? What if we allowed, encouraged, and prayed for our husbands to be able to financially support all of our family’s needs while we stay at home taking care of said family and the dwelling we share with them? How much more respectful, smart, capable, and knowledgable about God and life would the Christian mother’s children be if she were at home with them all day, being an example before them as she does chores, spends time with God, and teaches them about Him during every meal, and as they do other things and household tasks together? How much less sick would our children get, being able to strengthen their immune systems by playing/exploring the outdoors and playing with one another, rather than being confined in close, four-walled, no windows or no open windows, quarters with over 10X as many children in less sanitary public schools? How much cleaner–not always, of course!–will our homes be? How much more orderly, and comfortable, and beautiful if it had a woman to take care of it for the majority of the day?

Yes, this post is for both married AND single Christian women alike. If you want to have sex someday, rather than pursuing a career that would place you in the center of many men, you should pray about and prepare yourself to be a godly wife and eventual mother. If you do not wish to be married, but only desire to serve the Lord, then seek and ask Him for opportunities where you can do just that, in ministry, alongside/working with other women, or for a godly leader, still with other women around, because although working in ministries with genuine children of God is more safe than secular environments, for the sake of “not having a hint of sexual immorality among you,” it’s best to not be exclusively around men, even men of God who are not completely immune to sin and aren’t always as godly as they should be.

Here are some of God’s standards for the roles, relationships and opportunities women in the Church, His daughters, have:

Honor widows who are really widows. But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents; for this is good and acceptable before God. Now she who is really a widow, and left alone, trusts in God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day. But she who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives. And these things command, that they may be blameless. But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

Do not let a widow under sixty years old be taken into the number, and not unless she has been the wife of one man, 10 well reported for good works: if she has brought up children, if she has lodged strangers, if she has washed the saints’ feet, if she has relieved the afflicted, if she has diligently followed every good work.

11 But refuse the younger widows; for when they have begun to grow wanton against Christ, they desire to marry, 12 having condemnation because they have cast off their first faith. 13 And besides they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which they ought not. 14 Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully. 15 For some have already turned aside after Satan. 16 If any believing man or woman has widows, let them relieve them, and do not let the church be burdened, that it may relieve those who are really widows.”-1 Timothy 5:3-16

“I desire therefore that the men pray everywhere, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting; in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, 10 but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works. 11 Let a woman learn in silence with all submission. 12 And I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man, but to be in silence. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression. 15 Nevertheless she will be saved in childbearing if they continue in faith, love, and holiness, with self-control.”-1 Timothy 2:8-15

Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
She brings her food from afar.
15 She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
From 
[c]her profits she plants a vineyard.
17 She girds herself with strength,
And strengthens her arms.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is good,
And her lamp does not go out by night.
19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hand holds the spindle.
20 She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
For all her household is clothed with scarlet.
22 She makes tapestry for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies sashes for the merchants.
25 Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates.
-Proverbs 31:10-31

If you’re a single Christian woman, there are areas you can safely serve and know that you are honoring God in those roles: honoring your father and mother, helping them at home; serving in a Christian nursing home or ministry for widows; serving the poor; earning income with your God-given gifts, but again, in a God-led manner; then using that income for the ministry of the gospel and for the poor.

If you are married, but think you MUST work to provide and send your children to public or private school, I lovingly challenge you to consider: are ALL things possible with God? Is God your number One provider, or are your husband and YOU the number one providers, and God the secondary provider? If God desires and has all of these commands and expectations of wives and mothers in the Church, is He incapable of providing the means for you to walk it out? I challenge your faith, and encourage you to bring the “I can’t because…” to God in prayer and ask Him to make a way so YOU CAN. It may not be what you THINK you want, but remember the first verse I shared:

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”-Romans 12:1-2

His will for His daughters, as clearly, and numerously laid out in the Scriptures, both Old and New, DESPITE popular worldly/secular belief, IS good, acceptable, and perfect, but only when you pray, seek, and pursue that will, will you discover this verse to be true.

Much love and as always, know your worth,

Me and Sir Jonathan’s TRUE supernatural love story is now on Wattpad!

I quickly tossed the bags in a bin by the counter as Chris did the same, and then turned to leave.

“Wait,” he said.

I halted, my heart beginning to pound, and then slowly faced him. He stepped forward, his deep, brown eyes rapt on me. And without any more warning, he took my face in his hands and pressed his supple lips against mine. My muscles tensed and I froze. Is this really happening right now? I closed my eyes, even though doing so felt like a crime. His kiss held much of the same weakening effect it had on me last time, but anxiety combated some of it. The fear of getting hurt again gripped me just as much as his kiss did.

After a very long moment he released me. “I really like you, Natasha…a lot.”

I blinked at him, my tongue still frozen. Thoughts fumbled around my mind in a drunken stupor despite having not drank. Did he just say-but how-I thought he-Heat filled my cheeks as I smiled. Maybe now isn’t the time to process Chris’s antics. He returned the gesture. But surprisingly, it wasn’t that pleased/amused smile. It was…different. It looked tender, genuine…


“You scared me,” I said.

“I’m sorry.” Dace slid his hands onto my hips and kissed me.

I caressed the back of his head, my heartbeat slowing as I pressed my body closer to his. His warm torso felt like stone. I pulled back and peered into his eyes.

“There’s something so mystical about you.” Dace stared with a passion that seared into the depths of me.

“Mystical? How so?”

“Just the way you move or don’t move. There’s a charm about you that I’ve never seen before.”
—-
The Phantom Lover, the Dark Angel, and the Dream Prince.

My name is Natasha, and this is my true, supernatural love story.

The way me and Jonathan came together is nothing short of supernatural. It sounds like a YA fiction novel so I decided why not write it in the style of one? It’s written in first-person point of view, and you’re experiencing my relationships as I experienced them. You get to be in my teenage head, and as if watching a Netflix show unfold, you’ll go on a journey from my first love at seventeen-years-old to meeting my true love at nineteen. But before you get to enjoy my happy ending, strap on your seatbelt, because I take you through the rollercoaster I experienced in the two relationships leading up to my last and present one.

Are you ready?

Start reading my ongoing, true, supernatural love story absolutely free on Wattpad now. 

Are You Making A Significant Impact?

So twice this past week I got insomnia. The second was the worst because I literally didn’t sleep at all. I pulled an all-nighter, just awake in bed, and finally I just gave up and went to the living room.

I think I’ve been looking too much at likes on Instagram; checking my goodreads page for my book to see if I got any new reviews and if people are liking it; checking my blog, seeing if people are liking any of my posts; checking my Wattpad to see how many reads my stories are getting and if anyone has voted for it, etc., etc., etc. That sleepless morning, the thought hit me in prayer that I’m believing I’m not significant or being useful for God if I am not doing this online thing or my books etc.

My mind and heart need renewal because what would I do without the internet? What did the godly women of old do? Submitted to their husbands, loved them and their children, and took care of their household. Period. Seriously. Wow.

I’ve bought the lie that if I’m not doing all the other things then I’m not making an impact for the kingdom; that being a faithful wife and mother is not enough.

After praying about it, God reminded me of the passage we named Arrow after, a passage I had forgotten…

“Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.”

Psalms 127:3-5 NKJV

Maybe that’s you: you believe that you must be this or that and do this or that to be significant and make an impact for the kingdom. But all you have to do is choose to love Jesus and others. It doesn’t matter what you did in the past, God removes your sins from you as far as the east is from the west. What matters now is what you choose to do today. That is why, “God’s tender mercies are new each morning.”

Every morning is another chance to walk in God’s will. And the beautiful thing is that it’s simple: Love. Choose to love.

And love takes sacrifice. Choose to deny yourself and love those around you. That is all God asks you to do. Love Him. And love others. He doesn’t ask or expect anything more than that; He doesn’t care about riches or how well you can speak or quote scripture. He only cares about if you are loving Him and others.

I don’t care how much you serve or what ministry you lead in. At the end of the day, if you just choose to love God by obeying His command to love others, firstly being your spouse and children if you have those, then God is pleased.

Loving Him and others is extremely significant to Him. In fact, it is the fulfillment of the whole law. Even if you didn’t know every rule God has ever given, if you love Him and others, the Scriptures say you’ve fulfilled the entire law.

I pray in Jesus’ name we come back to that simple truth. Yes, it can sound childlike and not super deep and mystical, but that’s just how God wanted it: He made His will so simple that yes, even a child can grasp it.

Love you.

-Natasha

To Serve [In Church] Or Not To Serve…?

You go to church services on Sundays, maybe on a weekday as well–or more. You like the people there, you have some friends there, you like your pastor and the music so one day, you decide you should serve. So you do.

Question:

1.) When serving–or after the fact–do you find yourself wiped, frustrated, grumbling, or complaining about your experience?

OR:

2.) During and after the fact, you feel good, you enjoyed it, and can recall good experiences and can dare say you’re starting to–or already do–love it?

There’s usually two kinds of reactions to serving in your local church:

A) You feel used or frustrated, but you also feel obligated to serve because, well, it’s just what you should do, isn’t it?

B) You love the people in your church and find it a joy to help them out.

Check it:

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.-Philippians 2:1-8

Do all things without grumbling or disputing, 15 that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, 16 holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain. 17 Even if I am to be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all. 18 Likewise you also should be glad and rejoice with me.-Philippians 2:14-18

Ask yourself: Which kind of volunteer am I and why am I this way? I’d say this, if we aren’t the joyful one, doing it from love, we aren’t walking in love…And maybe that’s because we haven’t truly trusted in Christ and thus, we don’t really have His Holy Spirit living in our hearts, who makes us more loving and Christ-like. Or, we’ve allowed the devil’s lies, who is the author of division in the church, to creep in and embitter us, when once we really did love and enjoying serving, but overtime we started looking down on others or thinking they were taking advantage or not appreciative of what we do.

We as Christians aren’t perfect. It’s why Paul wrote that if anyone has an offense against another to forgive each other as God in Christ has forgiven us. Besides, we do it not because we deserve it, but because we love Jesus and He desires us to use the gifts He gave us to strengthen and serve and build up His church which ultimately is serving Him. If you really think someone is mistreating you, first pray about it. Ask God if this notion is true, or if it’s a lie from satan, or your own misunderstanding. Ask Him to make it known to you. And if afterwards, you still believe the person(s) are being mean or wrong, confront them about it–in a gentle manner. Share how you feel, don’t hold it in, or bring it up to a higher authority. Be honest in your confession of how you feel and what you see and experience. Sometimes it’s just perspective, or sometimes someone really is being out of line and needs correction.

Always remember the above passage, re-read it and really consider it. Jesus and a real love for Him and others should be what compels us to serve–nothing else. And if there is a different reason, we have to confess that our heart isn’t in the right place, and ask God, in Jesus’ name, to forgive us and help us get to that place, that we may shine as lights in this world.

blog_love_natasha

One Way to Be More Attractive to a Guy

I can’t say I know what every guy is attracted to in a woman. But I do know something you can work on beforehand that’ll make you more attractive to any guy.

Slash self-absorption.

If you’re super anxious, really insecure, have health issues that just consume you, that’s not only people repellant, but it’s unhealthy for you as well.

Now it is good to be self aware. It is good to know if you’re struggling with depression or are fearful or have ailments. It’s important to take care of yourself. But when it absorbs you, that’s when it’s destructive to yourself and your relationships.

For example: there’s a girl I met a few months ago. We exchanged numbers and ever since, it’s always been requests for help. I’ve helped her out from Christian love, but I realized that literally is our entire relationship: her needing/wanting help and talking about all her ailments. She didn’t know I was pregnant for a while until I offered her the information. She actually never asks me anything about myself–ever. She would know nothing about me if I never volunteered sharing. Her health issues have made her completely self-absorbed. And I see she has unknowingly pushed away family and loved ones. It’s really sad and I pity her, but what we have is a one-sided friendship.

And no guy wants to be in that kind of relationship where self pity on your end is the consummation of your conversations.

Relationships are mutual. You can begin self-reflecting and observing how you are with others by reading text message conversations, listening to yourself when you’re hanging out with your friends to see if it’s all about you, etc. If it is, seek to change that by learning more about God and what He has to say about life via the Bible, first the New Testament). It’s amazing how freeing His perspective is.

Now there’s also the opposite side of the spectrum: when you keep it all in and only listen to others, but never or rarely share. Again, relationships are mutual, so open up. Ask questions and answer them, too. I think shyness isn’t entirely who someone is, but more so, it’s someone who’s afraid to share who they are for whatever reason. Typically, it’s what the Bible calls, “the fear of man.”

You fear what people are going to think of you. Or you’re not sure if you can trust them. Whatever the case, don’t let shyness be a roadblock in your relationships. Yes, it’s something that takes effort to overcome, but it all comes back to getting to know God and His love. Once you begin understanding how deeply you’re loved by God, you’ll grow less and less afraid of getting hurt or rejected by others, and your relationships will flourish.

Feel free to leave a comment if this resonated with you.

Xo!