Me and Sir Jonathan’s TRUE supernatural love story is now on Wattpad!

I quickly tossed the bags in a bin by the counter as Chris did the same, and then turned to leave.

“Wait,” he said.

I halted, my heart beginning to pound, and then slowly faced him. He stepped forward, his deep, brown eyes rapt on me. And without any more warning, he took my face in his hands and pressed his supple lips against mine. My muscles tensed and I froze. Is this really happening right now? I closed my eyes, even though doing so felt like a crime. His kiss held much of the same weakening effect it had on me last time, but anxiety combated some of it. The fear of getting hurt again gripped me just as much as his kiss did.

After a very long moment he released me. “I really like you, Natasha…a lot.”

I blinked at him, my tongue still frozen. Thoughts fumbled around my mind in a drunken stupor despite having not drank. Did he just say-but how-I thought he-Heat filled my cheeks as I smiled. Maybe now isn’t the time to process Chris’s antics. He returned the gesture. But surprisingly, it wasn’t that pleased/amused smile. It was…different. It looked tender, genuine…


“You scared me,” I said.

“I’m sorry.” Dace slid his hands onto my hips and kissed me.

I caressed the back of his head, my heartbeat slowing as I pressed my body closer to his. His warm torso felt like stone. I pulled back and peered into his eyes.

“There’s something so mystical about you.” Dace stared with a passion that seared into the depths of me.

“Mystical? How so?”

“Just the way you move or don’t move. There’s a charm about you that I’ve never seen before.”
—-
The Phantom Lover, the Dark Angel, and the Dream Prince.

My name is Natasha, and this is my true, supernatural love story.

The way me and Jonathan came together is nothing short of supernatural. It sounds like a YA fiction novel so I decided why not write it in the style of one? It’s written in first-person point of view, and you’re experiencing my relationships as I experienced them. You get to be in my teenage head, and as if watching a Netflix show unfold, you’ll go on a journey from my first love at seventeen-years-old to meeting my true love at nineteen. But before you get to enjoy my happy ending, strap on your seatbelt, because I take you through the rollercoaster I experienced in the two relationships leading up to my last and present one.

Are you ready?

Start reading my ongoing, true, supernatural love story absolutely free on Wattpad now. 

One Way to Be More Attractive to a Guy

I can’t say I know what every guy is attracted to in a woman. But I do know something you can work on beforehand that’ll make you more attractive to any guy.

Slash self-absorption.

If you’re super anxious, really insecure, have health issues that just consume you, that’s not only people repellant, but it’s unhealthy for you as well.

Now it is good to be self aware. It is good to know if you’re struggling with depression or are fearful or have ailments. It’s important to take care of yourself. But when it absorbs you, that’s when it’s destructive to yourself and your relationships.

For example: there’s a girl I met a few months ago. We exchanged numbers and ever since, it’s always been requests for help. I’ve helped her out from Christian love, but I realized that literally is our entire relationship: her needing/wanting help and talking about all her ailments. She didn’t know I was pregnant for a while until I offered her the information. She actually never asks me anything about myself–ever. She would know nothing about me if I never volunteered sharing. Her health issues have made her completely self-absorbed. And I see she has unknowingly pushed away family and loved ones. It’s really sad and I pity her, but what we have is a one-sided friendship.

And no guy wants to be in that kind of relationship where self pity on your end is the consummation of your conversations.

Relationships are mutual. You can begin self-reflecting and observing how you are with others by reading text message conversations, listening to yourself when you’re hanging out with your friends to see if it’s all about you, etc. If it is, seek to change that by learning more about God and what He has to say about life via the Bible, first the New Testament). It’s amazing how freeing His perspective is.

Now there’s also the opposite side of the spectrum: when you keep it all in and only listen to others, but never or rarely share. Again, relationships are mutual, so open up. Ask questions and answer them, too. I think shyness isn’t entirely who someone is, but more so, it’s someone who’s afraid to share who they are for whatever reason. Typically, it’s what the Bible calls, “the fear of man.”

You fear what people are going to think of you. Or you’re not sure if you can trust them. Whatever the case, don’t let shyness be a roadblock in your relationships. Yes, it’s something that takes effort to overcome, but it all comes back to getting to know God and His love. Once you begin understanding how deeply you’re loved by God, you’ll grow less and less afraid of getting hurt or rejected by others, and your relationships will flourish.

Feel free to leave a comment if this resonated with you.

Xo!

Only One Person Can Fill That Hole Inside

Outside of Jesus, there is no perfect love, no one who can complete you. That nagging feeling and knowledge of lack can never be fulfilled by another lacking, broken, imperfect, sinful human being.

The lack is too great. It goes beyond the physical. It’s spiritual. It’s eternal.

The saying “there’s a God-shaped hole in all of us,” is true. And you can’t fill a hole that big with another finite person like you.

Thankfully–incredibly–God WANTS to fill that hole. And He proved how much so when He sent His Son to die for us. Talk about doing everything for the person you love. Has someone died for you? Has a perfect, sinless person you didn’t even know give up his life for you?

There’s no outdoing Jesus in the love department. No human is perfect. But He is fully divine and able to ABUNDANTLY fill that spiritual hole inside of you.

And best of all, He’s able to save you from yourself and from Satan. Eternity is real and these beings are real and there has to be a separate dwelling place for these two eternal persons who are at war; they can’t share the same abode, hence the reason Satan was thrown out of heaven along with a third of God’s angels who followed his rebellion.

Hell is a real location, just like heaven is. And there are–just like the angels–people who choose to follow Jesus and those who–even unwittingly–choose not to and thus default to the other side.

I pray Jesus reveals Himself to you, exposes the truth of who and all that He is for your good and for your salvation. We all need to be saved from ourselves and the spiritual enemies that are stronger than us. Only Jesus is mighty enough to accomplish both.

Grace to you.

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3 Things I Did To Aid In Destroying My Romantic Relationships With Men

For the last two days, I’ve been reading my sad-but-true first-person memoir about my two last/biggest romantic relationships before I met the man God wanted me to marry. I also delve into me and Sir Jonathan’s relationship from the very beginning till our wedding day.

I detail conversations and experiences with my exes that had me in tears and had my husband seething. Not from jealousy, but from the treatment I endured from these guys. How I was played like a frickin’ fiddle by master musicians and strung along, entranced and deceived, ignoring every warning sign and running full-speed ahead into heartbreak.

I am SO tempted to republish this book for .99 cents just for the possibility that it may help some young girl or woman out there who is walking in the shoes I once wore. But, as I pray about that (please pray, too), I want to share some practical lessons from my dating duds/epic relationship fails to hopefully help you avoid some serious pain!

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This may seem like an obvious no-no, but I wasn’t reading the Bible and really getting to know Jesus and His will for my life. I never sought Him for direction or relationship advice. Those questions were reserved for my best girlfriends who were just as clueless as I was when it came to healthy and successful romantic relationships.

I expected these guys to love me unconditionally when they didn’t even know Unconditional Love Himself and refused to follow His example. So, when their love was totally conditional, e.g., since you’re not gonna have sex with me, I’m not sticking around, or, since you’re too serious about us, I’m afraid of your intensity and passionate devotion so I’ll just exit stage left.

I couldn’t grasp why they couldn’t love me like I loved them, or be as committed to me as I was to them. But again, they weren’t Christians. There wasn’t a framework of commitment and honor and loyalty to a girl; of guarding her heart and being appropriate toward her and preparing for and waiting until marriage. They just did whatever their un-surrendered-to-God hearts wanted–which was ultimately and primarily sexual gratification without exclusive and life-long commitment. Basically, all the perks without the price-tag.

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Whenever the guy disrespected me by disappearing for days, or kissing and then running, or whatever other red flags waved in my face, I might’ve complained, but I always ended up defending the guy’s actions and continued giving him chance, after chance, after chance. I never put my foot down. It took THEM abandoning me for me to have no choice but to move on. I always chased them down; called, texted, showed up at their house, forgave and took back, and tried to mend the relationship. I held on until my hands bled. Sisters, PLEASE, when warning signs begin to manifest, don’t wait until your heart is shattered or until he walks away. Put your foot down and move on before he does. Otherwise, you’re just lengthening the suffering.

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Since God wasn’t my true source of joy and contentment, a romantic relationship with a broken, sinful, man was. And if any of you have ever been in a relationship with a guy, you know both of you mess up and make mistakes and act selfishly and hurt each other eventually. So if your happiness and hope is dependent on the well-being of your relationship, you’re probably sad and frustrated often (unless he’s a guy who loves Jesus. Not to say Christian men are perfect, but a true sheep of Jesus–not a wolf in sheep’s clothing–will treat you well and won’t put his interest first, but God’s best interest will be primary. He will fear and love God, and desire to please Him in his dealings toward you and treatment of you. He will seek to follow God’s plans and directives and rules for your relationship which seriously are so pure, and good, and safe, and healthy, and just ahhhh. SO much better than how people go about relationships without God being their Guide.

I’m sure as I continue to read my memoir, I’ll discover more lessons to share with you ladies, but for now, I plead with you to really do a relationship evaluation and then a heart check. Take a good three steps back from your relationship (if you’re in one) and prayerfully consider if one) he’s really a Christian; 2) there’s warning signs you’ve been ignoring, and 3) if all your happiness and hope hinges on the well-being of your relationship.

Praying for you.

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He wasn’t made for you. You were made for him.

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I started a podcast for you ladies! You can download the episodes for free, or listen directly from your iPhone’s Podcast app, or if you don’t have the Podcast app, you can listen via SoundCloud.

Each podcast is focused on a topic for women, with biblical advice, and is around thirty-minutes long. Podcasts are great because you can listen while driving, working out, walking your dog, etc. and can always pause and listen to the rest at another time and they have a cool rewind and fast-forward feature that rewinds fifteen seconds back or fifteen seconds forward. Since they’re longer, I get more in depth than on my YouTube channel.

You can listen to my first podcast, Being Useful While Waiting For God to Fulfill His Promises in Your Life or check out today’s, He Wasn’t Made For You, You Were Made For Him.

My prayer is that these lessons strengthen you in your walk with Jesus, giving you greater understanding about your purpose, calling, and role as a daughter of God, encouragement to keep on keeping on, and practical to-do’s all from a place of realness and love.

 

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