How to Know If Your Guy is Really a Christian

Last night a seventeen-year-old girl asked me, “How do I know if he isn’t really a Christian?”

Requirements of a true Christ-follower:

1.) He must confess Jesus is Lord, and believe in his heart that God raised Him from the dead.

And listen closely to what comes out of the guy’s mouth, for what’s in a person’s heart, eventually comes out of his mouth. Does he talk more about himself, or Jesus? Is he always talking about what he wants to do, or what God is leading him to do? Is he always talking about some material thing, or a business, or something of the world that he loves? He who loves the world, “does not have the love of the Father in him (1 John 2:15),” and whoever makes himself a friend of the world, “makes himself an enemy of God (James 4:4).” Does he love his car and all his possessions and hobbies and career etc., but hardly talks about Jesus moving in his life, and serving Jesus, and living for Jesus?

2.) In addition to loving Jesus and his neighbor, he must love other Christians.

But, love isn’t tolerance, acceptance, and whatever makes you happy; that’s how the world, how non-believers, define love. But true love is laid out in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, and is most clearly displayed by Jesus Christ Himself. The Bible says God is love, and that Jesus Christ is the visible image of the invisible God, that all of God’s fullness lived in Christ.

If you wanna know a man belongs to Jesus, the man must love like Jesus loved.

And Jesus loved the church–anyone who trusts in Him and confesses He is Lord–so much, that Jesus died for them. If this man hates Christians, He is not a son of God, because although we aren’t perfect, God loves us and gave His only Son for us. If this man is hostile to Christians, the love of Jesus is not in him.

3.) He must bear good fruit, i.e., good works that prove he genuinely knows and has Jesus.

Galatians 5 tells us what “the deeds of the flesh” look like, versus what the “fruits of the Holy Spirit” look like. Read over that chapter and see which fruit this guy displays more of. 

Precious sisters, be wise. There are MANY wolves in sheep’s clothing. There are many children of the devil “disguised as workers of light.” 

Our enemy prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

However much knowledge you have of the Bible is as much knowledge you have about Jesus.

Jesus is literally the fulfillment of every Old Testament prophecy and everything we need to know about Him, who He is, what He’s done, what He thinks of us and desires for us, what He has in store for our future and the future of the entire world, is all in the Bible.

Get to know God just as you get to know the guy you’re really into. Listen to Jesus as you listen to this guy talk, whether it be for hours as you hang out in person, or over the phone. Spend time with Jesus like you do with this guy. Make time for Jesus as you make time for this guy. Drop things for Jesus as you drop things for this guy.

Following Jesus is simple and it all starts with getting to know Him. 

Until next time, know your worth.

Want more relationship advice? Check out my latest eBook:

“Don’t Cheat On Your Future Spouse” News!

Who remembers this:

image.jpeg

Well, read on 🙂

By the time I was sixteen, I became a pro at falling in infatuation with guys, and they were pros at falling out of infatuation with me.

The definition of infatuation is literally:

“an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something.”

But God redeemed my break up expertise and now, after being happily married for almost seven years, I have some wisdom to share so you can stop cheating on your future spouse and instead prepare for him or her.

Are you a single Christian waiting for a spouse? Have you tasted the waters of different men or women in search of “the one,” only to walk away thirsty? Is there a best way to prepare for your future husband or wife?

In this short, easy to grasp eBook, single Christians will learn how to not cheat on their future spouse, and how best to prepare for him or her.

If you’ve seen my “Don’t Cheat On Your Future Spouse” YouTube video and want to have a more in-depth and practical guide on this topic, Don’t Cheat On Your Future Spouse is for you!

Get it here on Amazon for Kindle eReader or for the free Kindle app.

Until next time, ladies, know your worth!

Being Single Is Better Than Being Married

You may be thinking: Giiiirrrllll, what are you talking about? 

Allow me to explain. I just read:

“I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible. But if a man thinks that he’s treating his fiancée improperly and will inevitably give in to his passion, let him marry her as he wishes. It is not a sin. But if he has decided firmly not to marry and there is no urgency and he can control his passion, he does well not to marry. So the person who marries his fiancée does well, and the person who doesn’t marry does even better. A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. If her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but only if he loves the Lord. But in my opinion it would be better for her to stay single, and I think I am giving you counsel from God’s Spirit when I say this.”-‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭7:32-40‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Single sister, do you believe this? If not, what idea about marriage is preventing you? 

Ask yourself. Is it the desire for a special romance? The sense of being wanted? Feeling beautiful? 

These desires aren’t necessarily evil, but they can be selfish and misplaced. Do you know these longings can be satisfied by Jesus? Do you believe that? If you don’t, then you haven’t experienced Him fulfilling those needs yet. And He can. Nothing is too difficult for Him and He actually desires to! He desires you.

Do you know that He designed you, weaved you together while you were created in your mother’s womb? 

When no one had yet to lay eyes on you, His eyes were on you. He literally was forming you. And even beyond growing your body from a fertilized “egg” to a human body with limbs and a brain, He was giving you specific personality traits that would aid in accomplishing His will for you. 

You Then He breathed on you. Literally breathed His own breath of life into you and with that breath, gave you an eternal spirit. That spirit remained with you from the moment He gave you life in the womb onward. 

Your unique, everlasting spirit reminds you there’s more to life, that there is a hereafter. That there’s something, someone bigger than you out there. It’s a “God-shaped” hole that can only be filled by the One who gave it to you. 

He is a romantic God. He is the Creator of love. Not Hollywood. Not man. The bible says God Himself is love. Love started with Him and it comes from Him. 

He is the first to rescue a man and a woman in distress. He is the Savior. He is a Prince. He is a King. He is a Father. He is a Husband. The bible says all of this about Him. 

So if you believe the bible is true, then choose to believe He is these things for you. Ask Him to show you He is. Ask Him to help you believe this. If there is one thing I’ve learned from my eight years of following Jesus is that He hears and answers. 

Don’t let the devil distract you with the cheap counterfeit version of Love Himself through romance novels and films, or your girlfriends’ relationships and flings.

Open your bible, go to the New Testament and let Jesus show you what real love looks like and how much He loves you

If you give Him a chance to woo you, you will become ever stronger, and more confident and content in your relationship with Him and His love for you. Then you won’t be so down about your singleness. You wil have joy despite it. He did that for me and He can do that for you.

Much love,
Natasha

Why You’re Not “Manifesting Your Godly Man”

I recently watched a video from a sister I believe was well-intentioned. She was offering advice to single women on how to “manifest their godly man,” i.e., their future husbands. Her advice included things you could do and certain types of “energy” you can put out there to “attract” a godly man.

There’s several things wrong with her advice. For one, energy is super new age and it’s arbitrary and I think she’s definitely misusing the term by trying to fit it into a biblical context. It’s not about energy, it’s about God’s will and your obedience. Period. I’ll expound on that in a moment.

She mentioned how being the most confident woman in the room can attract your godly man, and how you want a man with “swag.” Here’s what she didn’t realize she actually did: she created a straw-man of what a godly guy is. She put all of God’s sons into a box that fit HER type and is trying to use what worked for HER in getting HER man for YOU and YOUR future man. But not every man exudes “swag” which, in my opinion, can be anything from cockiness,  to worldliness, to being fashionable, or metro-sexual.

Not every man of God has “swag” and not every woman of God likes “swag.” Some women of God like farmer-types, or biker-types, or geeky-types, which, even types shouldn’t matter as much as his godly character should.

Not every man is attracted to super confident, out there, loud or whatever she means by “the most confident woman in the room.” Some men are drawn to quiet, mysterious women. Some men are attracted to a woman who doesn’t even realize how beautiful she is. Some men like the Ruths who are sweaty and dirty, serving the Lord out on the ministry field. You don’t have to do X,Y,Z methods, or change your personality and appearance to attract a godly husband.

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.”-Proverbs 31:30

I have met married women who are so humble, so gentle, and certainly don’t come across as “the most confident woman in the room,” and their husbands ADORE them.

So if you are not supremely confident, or extroverted, don’t beat yourself up or think you’re doing the wrong things and that’s why no man has noticed you.

What if you haven’t received a godly husband yet because you haven’t attained “godliness with contentment?” Or haven’t been faithful with the little God has given you, so He is waiting until you’re faithful to give you more (a husband and a family)? Or what if God prefers you to be single?

At the end of the day, the most important thing is just being content in Christ alone–your Spiritual Husband–before receiving an earthly husband. Because if you aren’t content with Christ, what makes you think you’ll be content with an imperfect, broken son of His?

My advice: learn to be content and thankful. Don’t covet what you don’t have, but be grateful for all that you do have. Be open to God’s will and whether He wants you to be married or not, always remember:

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”-Romans 12:2

Men, PURSUE HER! – Video

I LOVE this man. No, I don’t know him personally, but ladiessssss, he just killed this point (in a good way): “We keep telling the Christian women to wait and not telling the Christian men to pursue! If you plan to lead in marriage, lead in the pursuit!”

Trust me sisters, this is a worthy watch! He has some GREAT advice! Hopefully, the men watch this, too.

Did you watch it? Tell me what you thought of his advice in a comment. 

Single Ladies: Why You Don’t Need a Man

Single sisters:
What if Jesus spoke to you and said, “Daughter, you are free to marry a son of mine, but My plan for you is to be single so you can serve Me without distraction, and if you take up this cross, I will be able to use you more in bringing many to Myself.” What would you choose?

Sometimes, we believe the lie that we NEED a husband. As daughters of God, we don’t NEED anyone, but Him.

The woman caught in adultery and the woman at the well thought they needed validation and affection from a man, but after their encounter with the Perfect God-Man, Jesus, they focused on following Him. Many of the women who followed Jesus appeared to be single, including Mary Magdalene. Did she marry after His death? I don’t know. But given the testimony about her, and her witness in Scripture, I won’t be surprised if she never did marry. Yet, she is forever recorded in history as a faithful follower of Jesus who loved Him and was worthy to be remembered throughout all of the ages.

Now some may be thinking, “Easy for you to say, you’re happily married!” But I know it’s possible, because I know a modern-day Mary, my sister, Natalia. She has been divorced for almost seven years, and has been single and celibate for five years. I mean, she has not dated ANYONE in five years. And so you know, the picture of the woman for this blog post is her. She is beautiful, inside and out, and would be an incredible wife to any godly man, but she is content. She has moments of desiring a husband, but they’re just moments. It isn’t something she thinks about or prays about all the time. And did I mention she’s thirty-two?

What is my sister’s greatest desire? To serve God. She wants to use her gifts for Him, for her Heavenly Husband. And she is content with that because she has experienced Him as intimately as I experience and know my own husband. Jesus’ perfect love has touched and transformed her and continues to. She is content with Him because she knows He is enough. How about you?

You can be an Esther, but can you also be content with being a Mary Magdalene?