I went into my bedroom to put my two-month-old, Viera, to sleep, leaving a cup of green smoothie on the table. My three-year-old, Arrow, tagged along, playing on my bed. Five minutes later, I wondered what my 22-month-old, Braven, was doing. He’d gotten awfully quiet. I lay my baby down and had Arrow join me to catch up on Braven. I glanced around our 1,099 sq foot apartment. “Braven, where are you?”
But before I could begin panicking, I spotted him beneath our dining table. Green smoothie soaked his blonde curls and hands, and painted his face. And he smeared the smoothie across the table and on a chair for good measure. Evidence:
And it hit me: It only took five minutes for my middle-child to turn into the Green Goblin. And how many women can say the same regarding their boyfriend or husband?
In the beginning of your relationship, perhaps for the first six months, he’s Mr. Osborne, confident and charming, but then somewhere along the line he starts becoming jealous, controlling, manipulating, verbally abusive perhaps, or a heavy drinker. And then one day, you realize your Mr. Osborne has become the evil Green Goblin.
“How could I have missed it?” You wonder. But alas, here you are, and the question now is: “What do I do about it?” Hopefully, this short advice will help.
When to Spider-Man kick your Green Goblin to the curb
If you’re a girlfriend, i.e, you’re not a wife, but your boyfriend becomes a disrespectful, name-calling bully, or a liar, or a cheat, he’s gotta go.
Now Christian sister, you know how God is all-knowing and can tell the future? Statistics show that unmarried women living with a boyfriend (having sex) are a lot more likely to experience physical abuse, suicide, and a higher divorce rate.
God, in His goodness, kindness and most importantly, from love, commands His children not to fornicate (have premarital sex). The cost of engaging in that kind of sexual immorality is the kingdom of heaven itself. It’s serious. God is super holy and though He loves you beyond comprehension, there’s certain sins He absolutely cannot tolerate, just as I myself, as a much less holy mother, will not tolerate certain sins in my home.
So being children of God, He does have expectations and does still punish those He has accepted in Christ. My encouragement is that if you’re in a sexual relationship, to repent by telling your guy he needs to respect you or you’re out.
Indeed, as 1 Corinthians 13:4 says, “Love suffer long.” If your boyfriend really loves you, he can suffer a while until he’s honorable and mature enough to make you his wife. (Click to Tweet)
When You’re Married to a Green Goblin
Christian wife, I know it hurts, but you also have to long-suffer for your husband (but if he’s physically abusive, get out and get safe). But if you’re disappointed in the man he’s become, I ask you to role play. If you were the one really struggling, would you want him to give up on you, or would you hope he’d keep his promise to be with you through good times and in bad? God sees the future, remember? Apparently, married couples who stick it out, even if it’s years of suffering, end up happier than those who chose divorce.
It’s all a matter of truly trusting God versus just saying you do. God wants us to love even our own enemies, and Paul exhorts the Christian spouse who has an unbelieving wife or husband to stick it out: your example could be used by God to bring that person to Christ, and nonetheless, your children will be made holy because of your godliness.
I remember how long God put up with me loving and idolizing guys and relationships and it humbles me. Think of how long God has and still does put up with you and all of your sin. And if you’ve placed your trust in Christ, you are way stronger than Spider-Man for, “He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.” (1 John 4:4)
Christ in you is stronger than your husband’s sins and failures, and stronger than Satan, who wants to destroy the both of you, starting with your marriage. (Click to Tweet)
For when two are in agreement in Christ, they are a serious force to be reckoned with: “On this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell will not prevail against it.” (Matthew 16:18)
Two Christians can storm the gates of hell, tearing down its stronghold on others, and set captives free.
Satan is it out to steal, kill and destroy everyone, but especially the Christian, and that includes your husband. (Click to Tweet)
Beg Jesus to fill you and strengthen you so you can stop fighting against your husband and instead, be the superhero who fights for him. (Click to Tweet)
And who but God knows when that Green Goblin of yours will change again, and this time, transforming into the man of Christ God wants him to be.
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