Do People Who Commit Suicide Go to Heaven?

Suicide has become a controversial topic. But after watching a film that promoted assisted suicide as a positive thing, I am reminded of the truth that the God of the Bible, that Jesus Christ, is a God of love and hope. And this isn’t a topic that should be side-stepped; this is people’s lives and souls.

I know it’s controversial for good reason: when someone kills himself, it’s a tragedy. It is heartbreaking and pitiable to think someone was so down and out that he couldn’t bear to go on. That is the epitome of tragic and it seems almost worse than if someone had murdered him or her. So I pray I come across gently because I cannot imagine the depth of pain someone feels when a loved one commits suicide. This I write for the sake of those still alive…

When a person ultimately decides to end his or her own life, that person is declaring that there is no hope and that he or she does not love himself. For:

“In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body.”-Ephesians 5:28-30 NLT

To kill one’s own body is an act of self-murder, and ultimately, it is to hate one’s self. And the Bible says:

“Anyone who hates another brother or sister is really a murderer at heart. And you know that murderers don’t have eternal life within them.”-1 John 3:15 NLT

If someone professes to be a Christian, but then murders herself, eternal life, the Holy Spirit, salvation, sadly, did not reside within her heart. Confession of following Christ is one thing, but “fruit” or evidence of following Him is the definitive measure by which we can observe if someone genuinely has eternal life within them—or not.

The Bible warns in Romans 8:5-9:

“For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. 6 For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. 7 Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. 8 So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God. 9 But you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. Now if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he is not His.”

Because of these verses and many others that command us to take charge of our minds, of our thought lives, I do not believe mental illness is a disease that is unfixable or something we cannot control. It is the result, the consequence, of not obeying the above Scriptures, which promise that being fleshly “minded” literally leads to death, but if we pursue being “spiritually minded” we will have life and peace–the opposite of suicide and depression.

There are certain sins that lead to eternal spiritual death or destruction. Then there are ones that don’t. Murder happens to be one of those sins that separates us from heaven and there’s only one other eternal place for the unrepentant murderer…hell. There’s no repenting from self-murder because you are no longer living and able to make the choice to trust in Christ and stop murdering…

It’s difficult to hear because we pity the victim of murder, but again, very tragically, the person who kills himself is not only the victim, but the perpetrator. Being the victim of one’s own act of suicide does not negate the fact that you also became your own murderer. And again, murder is a sin that leads to an eternity outside of heaven and in the eternal place of destruction. If you destroy yourself, even if at one time you were a confessing Christian, 1 Corinthians 3:16-17 says you are ultimately destroying God’s temple and there are devastating consequences for that:

“Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him. For God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple.”

Our body is God’s temple and it does not belong to us who profess to be Christians:

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”-1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Killing yourself is also not glorifying to God, but rather, it is the opposite. The Bible is rife with verses about God being the source of our hope and joy, about Him having good plans for us and our future, and that He is the God of all comforts who strengthens the weak.

However, when we commit suicide, we are declaring that none of that is true. And here’s the thing: it IS true! If you do not know it as such, then you are believing lies (and all lies come from Satan), and you are not living in the truth, in the new abundant life Jesus promises to give to those who truly trust in Him:

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”-John 10:10

This doesn’t mean someone who is depressed or suicidal is automatically disqualified. You can go through that dark valley of thoughts, but it’s the person who is eventually overcome by them, who no longer has the faith to keep standing in Christ, but throws in the towel or throws out their faith who is disqualified. That is why Jesus also warns us to endure until the end and to persevere. He declares that only those who “endure until the end” will be saved (Matthew 24:12-13).

I pray this opens your eyes to the sad truth that those who commit suicide may be freed from the torments of this life, but tragically, they have now transported themselves to a place of far worse, eternal torment because they did not know or believe the truth that would have set them free…

I pray if you are believing the lie that suicide is your way out of the pain of this life you will see that according to the Bible, according to Jesus, it is murder and is only a door to far greater torment in hell and there is no escaping that place after you’ve left this world.

As God pleaded with His people before:

“I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing. Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live, loving the Lord your God, obeying His voice and holding fast to Him, for He is your life and length of days…”-Deuteronomy 30:19-20

And may you pray this prayer to God the Father in Jesus’ name:

How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me? Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death, lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,” lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.-Psalm 13:2-4

That this reality may be yours:

“You see, we don’t go around preaching about ourselves. We preach that Jesus Christ is Lord, and we ourselves are your servants for Jesus’ sake. For God, who said, “Let there be light in the darkness,” has made this light shine in our hearts so we could know the glory of God that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ. We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves. We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies. Yes, we live under constant danger of death because we serve Jesus, so that the life of Jesus will be evident in our dying bodies. So we live in the face of death, but this has resulted in eternal life for you. But we continue to preach because we have the same kind of faith the psalmist had when he said, “I believed in God, so I spoke.” We know that God, who raised the Lord Jesus, will also raise us with Jesus and present us to himself together with you. All of this is for your benefit. And as God’s grace reaches more and more people, there will be great thanksgiving, and God will receive more and more glory. That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.”-2 Corinthians 4:5-18 NLT

blog_love_natasha

Being Single Is Better Than Being Married

You may be thinking: Giiiirrrllll, what are you talking about? 

Allow me to explain. I just read:

“I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible. But if a man thinks that he’s treating his fiancée improperly and will inevitably give in to his passion, let him marry her as he wishes. It is not a sin. But if he has decided firmly not to marry and there is no urgency and he can control his passion, he does well not to marry. So the person who marries his fiancée does well, and the person who doesn’t marry does even better. A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. If her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but only if he loves the Lord. But in my opinion it would be better for her to stay single, and I think I am giving you counsel from God’s Spirit when I say this.”-‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭7:32-40‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Single sister, do you believe this? If not, what idea about marriage is preventing you? 

Ask yourself. Is it the desire for a special romance? The sense of being wanted? Feeling beautiful? 

These desires aren’t necessarily evil, but they can be selfish and misplaced. Do you know these longings can be satisfied by Jesus? Do you believe that? If you don’t, then you haven’t experienced Him fulfilling those needs yet. And He can. Nothing is too difficult for Him and He actually desires to! He desires you.

Do you know that He designed you, weaved you together while you were created in your mother’s womb? 

When no one had yet to lay eyes on you, His eyes were on you. He literally was forming you. And even beyond growing your body from a fertilized “egg” to a human body with limbs and a brain, He was giving you specific personality traits that would aid in accomplishing His will for you. 

You Then He breathed on you. Literally breathed His own breath of life into you and with that breath, gave you an eternal spirit. That spirit remained with you from the moment He gave you life in the womb onward. 

Your unique, everlasting spirit reminds you there’s more to life, that there is a hereafter. That there’s something, someone bigger than you out there. It’s a “God-shaped” hole that can only be filled by the One who gave it to you. 

He is a romantic God. He is the Creator of love. Not Hollywood. Not man. The bible says God Himself is love. Love started with Him and it comes from Him. 

He is the first to rescue a man and a woman in distress. He is the Savior. He is a Prince. He is a King. He is a Father. He is a Husband. The bible says all of this about Him. 

So if you believe the bible is true, then choose to believe He is these things for you. Ask Him to show you He is. Ask Him to help you believe this. If there is one thing I’ve learned from my eight years of following Jesus is that He hears and answers. 

Don’t let the devil distract you with the cheap counterfeit version of Love Himself through romance novels and films, or your girlfriends’ relationships and flings.

Open your bible, go to the New Testament and let Jesus show you what real love looks like and how much He loves you

If you give Him a chance to woo you, you will become ever stronger, and more confident and content in your relationship with Him and His love for you. Then you won’t be so down about your singleness. You wil have joy despite it. He did that for me and He can do that for you.

Much love,
Natasha

Princess, gotta man who’s afraid of marriage?

I’ve met several girls who have been waiting for their grown man to propose; five, six, seven, even twelve years! They’re just hoping someday he pops the question. I have some bad news: he’s not. And if he does, it’s probably mostly due to lots of subconscious (or obvious) pressure on your part. In this man’s mind, why should he propose? It’s not like anything’s going to change once you get married. You’re already having sex and you already live together. You’re basically married already, right? 

O, but you understand better than he. You know it’s not the same. There hasn’t been a magical day where you get to wear your dream dress and look the best you ever will in your life, having everyone you know and love gathered on your behalf…You haven’t shared those precious vows of commitment; you haven’t signed any legal papers holding you accountable as a couple. You don’t have that pretty kept-woman ring on your finger. 

Marriage would be different. Marriage would cause more security in your heart. Being his wife would give you the confidence being his girlfriend simply cannot. Being married would also cause the idea of pregnancy to be a lot more comforting. Yes, marriage is something you’ve dreamed of, but your man doesn’t seem to share the same sentiment.

If he’s afraid of the commitment of marriage, or is giving you some other excuse for not proposing yet, tell him, “Okay, that’s fine,” and then set boundaries. Let him know you’re not going to live with him anymore (yup, move back in with Mama, or if you have a decent job, get a roommate). And then tell him you want to be abstinent until the day you’re married. See what happens. If you’re afraid he’s going to leave you, then let him. He wasn’t as in love with you as you thought. And trust me, you do not have to settle for a guy who doesn’t love you as much as he loves himself. There are men who can love you the right way and with the right amount. If you don’t believe that, keep reading your Bible, princess. My goodness, if you only knew…

Summation: Chances are, your boyfriend will not propose to you if you continue to play fake-marriage and stay in the same household and give him all of you (your body). He has no motivation, nothing to look forward to except more responsibility and restraints. As your boyfriend, he can kick you out oh so easily, or ditch you to have to pay rent on your own, and hop to the next woman without having to stand before a judge. 

If you want to live in that instability for the rest of your life, be my unfortunate guest. But if this has got you thinking, go through with the thought. Put what I said into action and see what happens. If you end up single, good for you. He wasn’t worth it to begin with. Remember this: any guy can have sex with you, but not just any guy can wait for you. My husband waited for me for over a year-and-a-half. We got married, and on our wedding night he got a gift well worth waiting for. He enjoys me so much more and appreciates and respects me all the more because he waited for me.

Trust me, girl, what you got is worth waiting for. If you don’t think so, pray about it. Ask God to reveal how important you are and to help you see His unbelievable love for you.

 

With lots of love,

❤ Natasha

I’m not a princess. How do I undo what I’ve become?

WARNING:  This blog is only for girls who feel ashamed, guilty, uncertain of who they are, unhappy with who they’ve become and want change.

FOOTNOTE:  When I employ the term ‘princess’ I don’t mean a snobby, spoiled, rich girl.  I mean a beautiful, invaluable, precious gem.  Now let’s begin.

So many of us grew up on the Disney fairy tales.  Most of us have a favorite princess.  Mine is Cinderella and Princess Aurora (Sleeping Beauty).  Cinderella was not only stunning, but she had this remarkable humility and kindness that was absolutely admirable.  She is definitely an ideal role model.  I love her for her heart.  Despite her childhood tragedies and unfortunate circumstances, she did not allow bitterness to fester and grow in her heart.  She found the joy in everyday life, singing with birds and doing her chores with glee.  She had hope that one day, things would get brighter.  And her hope did not let her down.  And what I loved about Sleeping Beauty wasn’t so much Aurora, although to me, she was the most beautiful princess of them all, but her prince.   He definitely gave the other princes a run for their money.  Prince Philip didn’t just show up at the end and save her with a kiss or give her a lift in a chariot, he sacrificed his very life for her.  He faced the most dangerous obstacles and the most treacherous enemy of his lifetime to rescue his sleeping princess.  He was a hero.

When we reflect on our favorite princesses we remember hoping to someday be in her shoes with a prince charming of our own.  But what happened?  If you’re like me in any way, shape or form, you were either tricked by a frog dressed as a prince or knew the guy was a frog, but gave him a chance anyway.  And after that first break-up, things seemed to go down-hill from there.  Frog after frog kept hopping into your life, leaving you bruised and broken without much hope for a future prince.  These guys or maybe just one, hurt you or used you or mistreated you in a way that made you feel devalued.  Where you’re at now, is not where you saw yourself then.  Well, aren’t you in the perfect position for a knight to ride in on a white horse and sweep you off your feet.

When Cinderella and Aurora were in their darkest time in life, that’s when a prince came walking into their path.  Now, there’s a slight addition into the sequence of the plot that isn’t mentioned in these tales.  Before you can be with a prince, you have to become a princess and here’s the clincher:  the prince doesn’t make you the princess.  A King does.

Merely three and a half months before I met my husband, I was not a princess.  I was a hopeless, angry, hurt, serial dater with a broken heart.  I was so broken by guys trampling on my heart I believed I would never have a fairytale ending, that the story of my life would end with me being miserably single.  My last ex was the topper on that not-so-delightful cake.  I gave him every ounce of love and emotion I could muster and he threw it back at me.  The guy I had made my everything had just left me with nothing.  It was in that place that I finally looked up.  Literally.

I cried out while on my bed late at night, alone in my room, for God to speak to me.  And speak to me He did.  My life changed in an instant.  In the midst of my most hopeless moment, I received a glimmer of hope.  The next morning was brighter.  Although I still cried most of the day, every time the pain became almost unbearable, God poured out His love on me and eased the hurt.  Before a full week passed, I had completely stopped crying and started smiling.  It was truly a miracle.  My heart, that was completely shattered, was whole.  As I drew closer to Him and got to know Him better, I got to know myself.  I got to know what I truly was in God’s eyes.  I was dearly loved.  I was special.  I had a unique purpose.  I was a princess.

When I realized this, when being single didn’t even matter anymore because my joy was finally complete in Him, that’s when my prince charming came riding along.  And boy oh boy, did he put every frog before him to utter shame.  He was more than I could have asked for, thought of, or imagined.  Yet still, in all his beauty, he did not, does not, and never will compare to God.  I pray if you are in the shoes I once walked, you cry out to the King and discover the princess you were created to be.

(Here’s a song that God used to ease the pain one of the days before the week was over when my heart was still being mended.  I hope it helps. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53OQxfL0cNg)

Ladies: Enough is Enough!

An older, but still relevant post. Girls, get it together and know your worth! Stop settling for less, when God has the best waiting for you.

 

The other day I was in the restaurant (Houston’s where I used to work) and there were two young women there, maybe twenty-five at most, standing by the bar.  They were dressed provocatively and an older man, maybe fifty-five or so was at the bar, flirting with them.  He was rubbing his hand on one of their backs and a few minutes later when I looked again [they were standing at the bar stools right by the front desk], he had his hand on the other girl’s butt.  Later on, I saw them at a table with another older man.

Admittedly, I’ve seen this several times being that I work at a high-end restaurant and it never fails to sadden me.  Here these young ladies are, beautiful on the outside, yes, but of so much more value and worth than what they’re putting out there on display for the world to see.  They’re not many years older than me, yet why are they with these old horn-dogs and not a handsome young prince?  Do they not care for one?  Or have they, somewhere along the way, been so bruised by toads, they just gave up on finding a prince?  What if someone told them the way God sees them?  What if someone could give them a small taste of the amazing plans God planned for them before they were even born?  Would it change the course of their life?

If you’re reading this and you are one of those young ladies, maybe you’re not dating old horn-dogs, but you’ve definitly been settling for the wrong guys or selling yourself short and going as low as flat out losers, or even guys that just think they’re somebody and treat you like a rap-star groupie.  If that’s you, please listen to this.

Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession.-Jame 1:17-18

For thus says the LORD of hosts: “He sent Me after glory, to the nations which plunder you; for he who touches you touches the apple of His eye. -Zechariah 2:8

I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.-Psalm 139:14

Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.-Ephesians 1:4-5

Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?-Matthew 6:26

Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that in due time He may exalt you. Cast the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns] once and for all on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.-1 Peter 5:6-7

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.-Jeremiah 29:11

There’s too many verses to put in this blog that describe the great value God sees in you, the depth of His rich love toward you, the awesome plans and promises He holds out for you as a gift.  We get so caught up sometimes.  This world is overflowing with lies.  The media saturates our mind, clouding our vision, distracting us from truth.  It tells men to degrade us, to use and abuse us, and tells us women to take the abuse and like it.  We have walked so far away from the original plan of God for our lives that depression is at its peak.  But the wonderful thing about this time is it’s the season for grace.  As long as you are alive, you have a chance to change the course of your life.  You don’t have to accept the abuse anymore.  You don’t have to settle another day.  You can discover your worth, you can discover true love.  God is waiting for us all to run into the shelter of His open arms.

Girl I’m talking to, He yearns to call you Daughter.

He desires to make you royalty.

You were made to be a princess.

You were made to be loved.  Don’t settle for less.

May you run to the arms that long to cradle you, to protect you, to care for you.

You’re a lovely temple.

You’re a work of art, created by the Master Artist of the entire universe.

Be beautiful, be joy-filled, be changed, be saved, be forgiven, be renewed, be loved.

Got some toxic thoughts that are leading you to toxic behavior?

So, the past two months or so have been rough.  I allowed some financial strains to get the better of me at times.  The disappointment I deflected onto my husband caused me to question for a moment if I was bipolar.  One moment I’d be nice, the next I’d get snappy.  I allowed some toxic thoughts to become toxic emotions that then turned into toxic attitudes which inevitably led to toxic behavior.  The Bible talks about, “taking every thought captive.”  I know now the amazing benefits of this notion when truly applied.  It may seem weird at first, because how many of us think, about our thoughts?  We just let it flow: the thought (stage one) creates an emotion (stage two), then an attitude (stage three), then a behavior (stage four) and nowhere in between that process do we think to stop it at stage one.  Only 5% of us realize the negative thought will lead to other negative outcomes and that it needs to be stopped.  But most of us ignore the rising smoke until it’s turned into a wild-fire.  And that, it what happened to me.

Yesterday my husband told me something in regards to our finances.  Automatically, I got a thought, an emotion and an attitude, and just acted.  One, two, three, boom.  Just like that [totally ignored the advice James gives in the Bible, “be quick to hear, SLOW to speak and SLOW to get angry.”  It wasn’t until the silence after our raised voices and the down-trodden demeanor on my husband’s face did I realize I shouldn’t have acted on my emotion which was created by my thought.  I’m quick to forgive and say sorry, but he left for work quiet and hurt.  Married women, if you are in the situation I was in yesterday, occasionally or regulary, you need to apply this principle.  And here’s the simplest way I believe to start.

After praying, I went to work.  Quite quickly, with my mindset being completely focused on my job, I was totally fine with a smile on my face as usual.  I had written a verse down, “God, create a clean heart for me and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Restore the joy of Your salvation to me, and give me a willing spirit.”  I looked over it a few times during the day and determined that when I got home, I would write my hubby a letter.  Not so much an apology, although I threw an “I’m sorry,” in there, but more importantly, a letter of support and encouragement, a letter letting him know, no matter what I said that morning, I honor and respect him.  He knows I love him, even in that moment of anger, but what he did feel, was that I disrespected him and didn’t believe in him.  Wives, wanna be on the fast-track to divorce?  Start making your man feel like you don’t respect who he is.  I’m not saying divorce is all our faults, but in most cases, the blame goes both ways.  But see, like my pastor said, the day before I hurt my husband, we wives have the power to completely build up our man and make him feel like Captain America, or the power to completely destroy him and make him feel dishonorably discharged.

I sat down and wrote him a letter, conjuring up the memories at to why I fell in love with him and all the things about him that make him great and man oh man did that spark a change in me (a good fire).  When I spoke to my husband after I got of a meeting it was like the fight earlier never even happened.  I asked him if he recieved the letter and he sure did.  He was very pleased and was like, “You really think that?” That night we had a nice time in the bedroom as well =)) and shared some good laughs and prayed together before we went to sleep. So, I HIGHLY suggest if you have been fighting with your husband to write him a respect letter. Ask nothing of him, simply tell him what you respect him for and what you’re thankful of from him.  Then, when he does something you’re not too pleased with, take that thought captive.  I already had to do that and my did it help.  It was interesting, it was like fighting myself:

“The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions.”-Galatians 5:17

But, if you’re, “directed by the Spirit,” you’re not obligated to do those evil and hurtful actions towards others.  Start crowding out the bad thoughts with good ones.  How do you do that?

“Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”-Philippians 4:8

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”-Romans 1:2

In other words, it may sound old school, but read your Bible.  I suggest reading a chapter of Proverbs a day and writing down one or two verses that really speak to you.  And definitly check out what Jesus says and how he thinks and acts.  Talk about the perfect role-model and positive thinker.  He was called “Teacher” for a reason.  But even deeper than that, if you have only known Jesus as just that, simply a teacher, I suggest you cry out to Him and ask Him to be who He wants to be in your life.  With a simple invatation, He will change your world and the worlds around you.  This whole controlling your thoughts thing isn’t easy.  You need divine help.  But, like the religious leaders back then said to Jesus, “We know you are not a respecter of persons,” he really doesn’t care who you are, where you’ve been, or what you’re doing now, all He cares about is loving and wooing you.  Give Him a try and I promise, no matter how dark your world looks now, He will make it brighter than ever before.  God bless.

Break-ups and the road to healing

I don’t need to explain break-ups or the heart-breaks they bring so let’s cut to the chase and talk about how we can get our broken hearts mended again.

STEP ONE: CRY OUT FOR HELP

Sometimes, when we experience heart-break, we shut ourselves out from the world and lock ourselves inside a bubble of pain. Doing this is potentially fatal. If it doesn’t cause death in the literal sense it can cause death to other things: certain aspects of your personality, your dreams, your desires, current friendships etc. You have to cry out. But don’t do so just horizontally, cry out vertically.

When you’re down, the best place to look is up. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” (Psalm 34:18) Test God if you doubt this. I guarantee if you cry out to Him in the humbleness of your heart, He will answer.

STEP TWO: GET SUPPORT

Family is great, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Don’t surround yourself with “friends” who aren’t helping you grow. When you’ve hung out with the same people for a couple of years and you’re still doing the same bad things, something is wrong. They aren’t growing up and neither are you. Some people you have to cut because “…bad company corrupts good character,” (1 Corinthians 15:33). 

It doesn’t matter how much fun you have with them or how long you’ve known them. This is about you growing for the better and getting healed. Doing the same things isn’t going to change your situation. You have to change your surroundings, the things that have influence on you, if you want change. Pray about good friends being placed in your path, people who will love you and invest time in you and care for you, pray with you, encourage and build you up, not keep you stagnant. If opportunities arise, go for it. If someone invites you to a church or home Bible study, go for it. You never know what amazing friends you’ll meet.

STEP THREE:  STAY CONNECTED

Once you’ve been blessed with the right people, stay connected to them. Continue hanging out with them, talking to them on the phone, texting, etc. Just stay connected.

STEP FOUR:  NEVER LOOK BACK

Don’t be surprised if after all this happens, or even when it starts to happen, your ex or whatever it was that broke your heart before the healing began, pops up again to say hello. If it does, don’t look back. Turn the other cheek and keep on walkin’, honey. That ex will promise not to break your heart again, but don’t believe it. Don’t even answer the phone! If he’s persistent, CHANGE YOUR NUMBER. Seriously, you cannot fall for that again.

Let your new support know if you’re finding it challenging to turn away from the past. Allow them to help you and to remind you how far you’ve come and to not throw it away for another broken heart. You’re worth more, remember that. You’re a princess and you weren’t brought into this world to get your heart trampled on by men. You were placed here to be loved and to love in return; to love God first and foremost, and then to love people.

If you have a desire to also love and be loved by a man specifically, God will send him your way when the time is right. You don’t have to worry or carry around binoculars anymore. God’s got him.  Put Jesus first and watch how everything else falls into place. A princess being carried in the chariot of the mightiest King, allowing Him to lead the way; it’s a beautiful place to be.