This 32-year-old single sister blessed my heart with this email

God is amazing. He’s our Husband, our everything. I love getting emails like these. While reading this I totally felt compelled to share and then her final words confirmed that I should. I pray this encourages you single sisters. Love you!

Hi Natasha,


I just wanted to update you. Thank you so much for your advice not to compromise! I appreciate you so much as my sister in Christ!  First, I’d like to say congratulations on having a beautiful son! I’m sure you and your husband’s hearts are filled with joy seeing his little face everyday! I was reading your blog today and just felt compelled to update you: so here goes.

 I contacted you awhile back…not sure if you remember. I was seeing a man and didn’t feel good about spending time alone at his house. I had been seeing him since December. I did end up going to his home alone…I totally compromised and felt terrible. We cuddled but never kissed or touched or had sex but I still felt he wanted me to be too emotionally involved. He wanted us to be close like we were already married but minus sex. I was still seeking God about him but the peace never came. On top of that, Godly friends in my life kept telling me they had no peace (without me even asking)!  I was looking to my own understanding. He had so many great qualities, he was pursuing Christ and we got along and all those things…basically all the boxes on the check list. But in my spirit it just never seemed completely right.

When I tried to pull back and guard my heart he said I was being a bad girlfriend. I began to lust so badly for him over something that seemed so innocent, like going to his house sitting together and watching TV alone. I ignored the Holy Spirit because my boyfriend convinced me I was “doing too much.” He began to mock me for my desire to not kiss or allow any hint of sexual immorality into our relationship. The Holy Spirit kept telling me not go over his house. I wouldn’t listen because I thought was being too religious and paranoid.

Eventually my heart started to become hardened and I was defensive toward God. I didn’t want to obey…and I didn’t. But I thank God for his grace. I finally listened. I knew I had to talk to my boyfriend further about it. We talked, he said I was “doing too much.” I asked him to pray about it and he flat out refused to do that. Instead, he said the cure for lust was not to follow boundaries but to just get married ASAP. Things progressed so fast, I started seeing him December 2014 and he wanted to get married by the end of this year. I don’t think that time frame was completely unreasonable but I felt no peace about marrying him. 

So things came to a head about a month ago. We were talking about marriage plans. We went ring shopping and I literally felt nauseous. I had no excitement, just fear and dread because of my lack of peace. I realized it had to be God tugging at me. I pulled away from my boyfriend and went on a fast. During that time the Holy Spirit made it so clear I should wait. He also showed me I wanted to marry him more out of fear rather than faith that he was God’s choice for me. I was too afraid to trust God’s timing because of my age and my desire for children (I’m 32).

But after a lot of crying and praying :)… I told him I had to listen to God and wait. He said it was all in my head and I didn’t really hear from God. He wanted to move forward and get married right away. Long story short, we broke up. I couldn’t move forward without peace from the Holy Spirit;I have to trust the Holy Spirit over my own understanding.  

Since then, it’s been hard but God has lead me to face my fear of being 32 and single. I don’t know what will happen but I know I’m doing what God told me to do and the peace in my heart is priceless. I’m choosing to cling to Jesus like never before and my faith is growing in ways I couldn’t have ever imagined! It’s like he is literally strengthening daily… I’m humbled. God is showing me how to stop looking at myself and focus more and more on Jesus and sharing the gospel to this lost and hurting world. 

Thank you for taking the time to read this super long email. If anyone is ready to settle and disobey God out of fear please feel free to share any part of my story to anyone who needs to hear it to. Have a great week and be blessed!

I Like A Guy Who’s In A Relationship

I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, By the gazelles or by the does of the field, Do not stir up nor awaken love Until it pleases. (‭Song of Solomon‬ ‭2‬:‭7‬ NKJV


Note: She’s speaking to women.

I’ve known several sisters who have done exactly what this verse warns against. There’s a brother in Christ who catches their eye, they start crushing, but the guy never really pursues them. Some of these brothers were in relationships and eventually married the girls they were with, but until that day, these sisters were convinced that the brother was truly meant for them, and the girlfriend was a counterfeit. Whether she really was or not didn’t change their reality: the brother was not pursing them, and in the end, he never did. 
It is crucial to your faith to refrain from opening up your heart to a man before the right time. If he’s in a relationship, it isn’t the right time. If he’s not pursing you, it isn’t the right time. 

Sometimes, a sister thinks the guy is into her because he shows her attention. What I’ve found is that, often, girlfriends are good at being girlfriends, but not as friends. What I mean is, she’s faithful, committed, esteeming the man, being romantic, etc. but she’s not being a friend who just hangs out and has fun with him. So the man is seeking female friendship in a girl other than his girlfriend. He’s immature, she’s immature, and they haven’t yet realized friendship is lacking in their relationship. But that’s when the single sister thinks the guy likes her, when really, he just enjoys her friendship and is using her for the sake of his fun and enjoyment. He doesn’t want to be more than friends; he already has a girlfriend fulfilling that area of his life. 

The reality check is you are an attention quencher, a fun-filler, but you’re nothing more in his eyes. If you were, he would make himself available, be open about his motives, and pursue you. 

I understand this truth can hurt. This is why I exhort my precious sisters to not share deep friendships with a man. Keep it superficial and distant. When you get married, that deep friendship will have to get snipped anyway. Why do I say this? Because with women, adultery usually begins with emotional connection. A man is listening to her feelings when her husband isn’t. A man is making time for her when her husband isn’t. This quickly spirals into a physical relationship and now you are more than mere friends. 

You don’t want to be a home-wrecker either. What if that brother comes onto you while still in a relationship? What if he then leaves her for you? Do you think God will bless that ignoble way of entering a relationship? And if you were able to steal his affection, what makes you think another woman like you can’t come around later on and do the same thing, stealing him from you? 

You don’t want a man that is so easily swayed. You want a committed one. And that’s the irony of so many women who go after the married man because they find his commitment sexy. Guess what? He’s no longer a noble and committed man once he’s sinned with you! And neither is the unmarried man in a relationship. So BACK OFF. God doesn’t write messed up The Bachelor/Bachelorette stories (hence why those relationships always quickly end in divorce!). 

If God wants you married, He’ll work it out, but you must do your part, which isn’t meddling with other people’s boyfriends or husbands. It’s being pure. That is the greatest preparation for a husband: purity. Your eyes and heart are not set on someone they shouldn’t be, they’re set on Jesus. And as you keep them on Him, Jesus will allow a godly single brother to see you. He will pray and pursue, and you can trust him to protect your purity, as you will his. And that is a relationship God will bless. Trust me, I know from experience. 

Love you sisters,

Natasha

How To Defeat The Two Forms Of Temptation

I pray for you precious sisters every day. I love you all and it is my great desire to see you walk in power, faithfulness, and the blessedness of the Lord by your obedience to Him. I want to talk to you ladies about the practical instructions given to us in several places in the bible: “Flee youthful lusts; Run from temptation.”

I believe as Christians, our flesh has been crucified because the bible tells us it has, but if you feed the flesh long enough, you can fall into sin. There are two forms of temptation. The first is what I’ll call Satanic Set-ups. Sometimes, the devil sets us up. In Job chapter one, Satan goes to God and asks if he can tempt Job to blaspheme by taking away his belongings. In Luke chapter four, Jesus is just following the Spirit as always, and Satan shows up to try and tempt him.

Then there’s Self-inflicted Temptation. This is what the bible describes as our own desires drawing us away and enticing us. When there are worldly desires in our heart that we have not crucified, that we have not put to death, these are the desires that can eventually lead us away from Christ and into sin.

In order to resist Satan and stand strong, we must first do this:

Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming. In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all. Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. (‭Colossians‬ ‭3‬:‭5-14‬ ESV)

How do you practically put to death what is earthly or worldly in you? Jesus gives one answer:

“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” (‭Luke‬ ‭9‬:‭23)

First, simply deny yourself. If you desire to read an erotic novel, you refrain from doing so. If you desire to watch a worldly tv show, you do something else instead (preferably meditating on something excellent, pure, perfect, holy, while cleaning or serving someone for example).

Then there are other things we can do like not hanging out with immoral friends because bad company corrupts good character (1 Corinthians 15:33), or cutting an ungodly relationship. Accountability, which simply means you are open and honest with another Christian, helps as well. You typically know what causes you to trip up and it ultimately comes down to who you will choose to serve: self or God.

I pray you choose Jesus, because He alone promises to have a good, acceptable, perfect, and pleasing will for your life that will only be discovered and experienced if you offer yourself as a living sacrifice to God and renew your mind through His Word (Romans 12:1-2).

Who else loves you as much as Jesus does? May the love of Christ compel you to daily pursue the right thing for His sake.

Know you worth,

Natasha ❤

How To Know If You’re Beautiful

You’re beautiful because God crafted you. You’re beautiful because the All Beautiful Creator of this insanely gorgeous universe knit you together. The Artist of all artists painted YOU. You don’t need to get dolled up and post a pretty selfie to prove you are beautiful. In fact, many women who American society would consider NOT beautiful are exactly the women God deems precious and beautiful; plain, humble, gentle, submissive to husbands, women who adorn themselves with good works rather than lavish makeup and accessories.

I challenge every sister in Christ to delete the selfie they think they look most beautiful in, the one with the most likes, and to not repost it. Why? Because I think many of us women deep down post those pictures because we feel good when we get attention for them, but it’s vanity, pride, and truly a cheap high.

Christ thinks you’re beautiful when you wake up first thing in the morning with messy hair and bad breath—He NEVER takes His eyes off of you or forsakes you, not for a moment.

And honestly, you do not want a guy who is hitting on you just because he thinks you’re hot and fantasizes about you. You want a guy that sees how you live for Christ and is attracted to THAT. Sometimes sisters wonder why all they attract are wolves, users, dogs, unbelievers etc. and to them I say, “How are you presenting yourself?” Are you posting sexy pics with cleavage shots, or bathing suit shots, or close-up lots of make-up shots?

A girl recently did a study and found that when she had lots of make-up on, she attracted nasty guys coming on strong. When she posted pics without make up, the guys maybe mentioned she was cute, but were more interested in who she was and what she was into rather than how “hot” she was.

Holiness attracts holy men. Worldliness attracts worldly men. And let’s face it, “the lust of the eyes” is worldly. You want a guy who is attracted to you because of who you are in Christ, not because of how good you look. That guy is WAY more marriage-material. In fact, the other guy ISN’T even marriage-material.

If you’re sick of attracting the wrong guys, I encourage you to take a good look in the mirror. Are your clothes real right and make-up just right? Or are you truly modest and simple with your make-up? Just something to think about.

Much love princesses,

Natasha

The Lie Of “Loving Someone Vs Being In Love With Him/Her”

What does pretty much every romance movie portray about love:

1.) There has to be a strong physical attraction.

2.) You won’t be able to get the person off your mind (in other words, you’ll obsess over him/her).

3.) You won’t be able to keep your hands off the person.

4.) You’ll have great premarital sex.

This is what they call, “being in love.” And O, how many times I’ve bought this lie with ex-boyfriends and exchanged the powerful four-letter word. I’m sure you have too. If you haven’t yet, praise God, you’re extremely fortunate.

Now with this whole “being in love” nonsense, there comes another lie: love leaves.

Ever hear someone say, “I love you, but I’m just not in love with you anymore.” In other words, I don’t obsess over you anymore and don’t feel all those intense lustful feelings I once did for you.

First of all, that crazy intense passionate feeling we once felt for a person was not love. This is how the Apostle Paul defined it:

“But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn [with passion]. (I Corinthians 7:8, 9)

Have you ever burned with lust? I have. Felt it all over my stomach and chest, it was consuming. Also felt it all over my body on my wedding night. What was I craving in that moment? To be touched.

Love isn’t unrestrained affection. That consuming fiery sensation is called lust, and of course it goes away, because when you get what you’ve desired, you’re satisfied for a while and then it gets old. Then you “fall in love” with someone else.

How about we get to what real love is?

1.) First off, it’s a choice.

Love isn’t some arbitrary mystical force that possesses you for a while and then vanishes once things get rough.

Love is God. God is love. Once we embrace Christ, who chooses us, He never leaves us or forsakes us. To say you’re in love with someone because you greatly lust after them is to call God a selfish pervert. (I’m not saying desire is wrong by the way. When in the right context, desire is beautiful and holy, i.e. when it is pure and then acted upon in marriage).

2.) Love isn’t earned, it’s given.

“Wow you’re really hot and when we hang out you make me feel super happy so I’m going to tell you I love you and seduce you so we can have sex and really show each other how much we love one another.”

Translation: “I get stuff from you that I like, and I want more of that stuff, so I’m going to suck you dry until I don’t ‘feel’ like I ‘love you’ anymore.”

Real love sounds like this:

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. (I Corinthians 13:4-8)

Love suffers long. That means if that brother loves you, he keeps his pants zipped and his hands off your secret areas even if it pains him to, honoring you because he cherishes you and knows you are a daughter of God who does not yet belong to him. He does not seek his own selfish gain i.e an orgasm, but he seeks what’s best for God and you, putting his own desires at bay until the proper time: marriage.

The Bible teaches in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8:

For this is God’s will, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality, so that each of you knows how to control his own body in sanctification and honor, not with lustful desires, like the Gentiles who don’t know God. This means one must not transgress against and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger of all these offenses, as we also previously told and warned you. For God has not called us to impurity but to sanctification. Therefore, the person who rejects this does not reject man, but God, who also gives you His Holy Spirit.

So while girls you know are getting used by their boyfriends and calling it love are telling you about how great their sex-life is, you can tell them what real love looks like and hopefully be able to show them when God puts you in the path of one of his godly princes, and that son of God cherishes you and respects you, showing you love by refraining from using your body and instead gets to know and protect your heart until God confirms to you both that you are to be married and on that night, he enjoys what he’s been lovingly waiting for.

Princess prayer: Heavenly Father, in the name of my King, Jesus, I ask that You help me tear down every lie about love that I have believed. I pray You enable me to keep my mind on You and wait for the man you have for me. Amen.

If I Don’t Get Married Tomorrow I’m Going To Die

Do you feel like you’ve been waiting for that spouse for a long time? Are you wondering what in the world is taking so long?

Make sure you’re being practical, not mystical. Choosing a spouse is up to you, but you do need God’s affirmation on the person you desire to pursue.

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you. (Matthew 6:33)

Seek God’s will first and His righteousness. Pause for a moment. Are you righteous? Are you seeking God’s will first? Not just seeking Him in the area of relationships, but in every area of life.

You may be praying for a spouse, but you’ve got sin in your heart that has yet to be dealt with.

Do you struggle with lust and think when you get a spouse it will magically disappear? Yes, we all get tempted at some point, but the Bible is clear that:

No one undergoing a trial should say, “I am being tempted by God.” For God is not tempted by evil, and He Himself doesn’t tempt anyone. But each person is tempted when he is drawn away and enticed by his own evil desires. Then after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin, and when sin is fully grown, it gives birth to death. (James 1:13-15)

James tell us in the verse before:

A man who endures trials is blessed, because when he passes the test he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him. (James 1:12)

If you fall into sexual sin, and have premarital sex, are you enduring? Should you expect a spouse? If you are master-bating because you cannot control your thoughts, are you enduring?

Again, we all get tempted by our own lists, and the Bible commands us to “take every though captive and bring it into the obedience of Christ,” (2 Corinthians 10:5) and in various other places, “don’t conform but be transformed by the renewing of your mind,” and, “gird the loins of your mind.” If you are allowing yourself to have sexual fantasies or are succumbing to pornography, God will not hand over one of His precious children to your lust so that you can objectify them and use them and end up cheating on them because you never learned to control your thoughts.

If this is speaking to you, the beautiful thing is that God understands our weaknesses. You can come to Him and confess these things. Do not try and hide it, Adam tried that trick in the garden and it accomplished nothing.

God is all-knowing remember? He knows every thought you have. But He wants you to confess it to see if you are serious about changing. That’s the first step: confession.

The second is repentance. Realize how broken you are. Realize that Jesus takes sexual lust so serious He equates it to adultery. Determine not to fantasize or masterbate or have premarital sex anymore.

Ask brothers and sisters to hold you accountable. Seek biblical counseling. Disconnect your Internet. Run from it! Repentance means running from your sin. Read your Bible, let it shine its bright light on the darkness of your heart, be open to it exposing your secret motives to you.

When you do this and overcome, then you will be a trust-worthy steward who God can bless with a spouse. Until then, stop whining and start changing.

It may not be lust you battle, but anger, or insecurity. These all must be dealt with. If you’re an insecure woman, you believe the lie that a husband will make you feel secure. In reality, when he comes, you’re gonna be making Him the Messiah in your life and set unreal expectations on him that will bring your marriage to destruction.

Anger is obviously destructive so need to expound on that one. But these are necessary to rid yourself of before marriage.

So, seek God’s will and righteousness first, and everything else will be added to you.