God Wants Women To Be Stay-At-Home Wives And Mothers Because …

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In the same way, older women are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not addicted to much wine. They are to teach what is good, so they may encourage the young women to love their husbands and to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, homemakers, kind, and submissive to their husbands, so that God’s message will not be slandered. (‭Titus‬ ‭2‬:‭3-5‬ HCSB)

I believe the Word of God is inspired. Here, Paul lists several standards for women:

Older women are to be:

1.) reverent [holy] in behavior

2.) Not slanderers

3.) Not addicted to much wine

Older women are also to teach younger women to:

1.) a) Love their husbands, b) love their children

2.) Be self-controlled

3.) Be pure

4.) Be homemakers

5.) Be kind

6.) Be submissive to their husbands

This is what God desires for younger women. It’s simple really. I know in our current American society, there’s a stigma toward stay-at-home moms. I just officially became one last month. I had me and Sir Jonathan’s first child on February 19th, and I totally get why God would desire wives with children to be watchers of the home, workers at home.

Being a mom is overwhelming lots of times, and is really hard work. It is energy-draining, attention-demanding, needing your devotion 24/7. Add on a husband to also care for and love, and a home to keep decent, and you’ve got your hands completely full. So instead of worrying about bringing in the bread, wives/mothers are to concern themselves with their roles, because they’re entrusted with lots.

Some would say going out there and taking on the brutal corporate world is true bravery, but I’d say choosing to be a stay-at-home wife and mother takes an immensely greater amount of not just courage, but love.

My baby boy is only one month old, but I reckon as he grows older, he’s still going to need me just as much—but in different ways; I’ll have to teach him all the good I know.

There was a time when parents had the most influence on a child. But now, the media, celebrities, and peers play a much greater role in influencing your child—unless you step in. This is where stay-at-home moms become superheroes. They’re able to protect their precious baby from so much the working mom can’t.

The public school system exposed me to many things I’m deeply disturbed by in retrospect. In third-grade I was taught how to “booty dance” by one of my friend’s older sisters. I learned how to do these extremely provocative moves such as going on all fours and shaking my bottom, grinding against a little boy while having one leg up, joining hands with a friend and wiggling our bottoms as fast as they could go. I got into a few fist fights. I had my first French-kiss in fourth-grade, and in sixth-grade I picked it up again—heavily. While in the outside lunch area that year, a boy I knew walked past me and caressed my vagina. Having our butts be grabbed and slapped by boys we liked became a huge middle-school fad. One of my best friends in sixth-grade lost her virginity on my bed. By seventh-grade, me and my friends were giving lap-dances, and another girl I called best friend pressured me to try marijuana. That year, while alone in a school hallway, an eighth-grader shoved me against a wall and quickly molested me. Also that year, I found myself unintentionally alone with a boy I really liked at his apartment and he tried to rape me. Bisexuality and homosexuality were introduced in eighth-grade I believe, if not earlier. There’s more, but I think you get the point. All of this began sixteen years ago. I’m sure we can agree that now things have only gotten exponentially worse.

A stay-at-home wife and mother is able to be the main influencer of her child. Like the mother of King Lemuel, who wrote Proverbs 31, we can teach our sons and daughters the right path and when they’re old, they won’t stray from it. It takes all of us—every drop of love and commitment we can muster—to be a full-time wife and mother, but it’s what God wills and He knows best. Do you trust that?

New Mom Confessions: I Need To Remember I’m Still A Wife

I confess: being a new mom can definitely be overwhelming at times. Ok, it’s overwhelming 90% of the time, and this is coming from someone who had a lot of help the first week and a half, and is only now, coming into week three, starting to cook again. I also happen to be married to a wonderful man of God who really served me. The first two weeks, sir Jonathan became a professional butler. While I was glued to my bed or the rocking chair, he was making me breakfast, getting me water, just running back and forth at my numerous beck and calls.

Now here I am: our precious Arrow is three weeks old today, and after my husband told me how my dad encouraged him (grandpa was saying how gifted he was with film and to really pursue it), just hearing the joy in Jonathan’s voice, it hit me:

You’re still a wife.

With all the breastfeeding on demand, picking up baby when he wants to be held, and cleaning dirty diapeys, our son is my number one time consumer. I know he needs me this much, but I can’t forget that my husband needs me to. Even if it’s just a word of encouragement, I can’t forget to care for my marriage. I like to refer to relationships as gardens. If you lovingly tend to your relationship with God, your spouse, your children, it will flourish and become beautiful. If you neglect it, it will wither and eventually die.

If you’re a new mom like me and married, don’t forget your husband. He’s not an adorable, helpless little person that fits perfectly in your arms, but he does need your encouragement and your attention. Flirt with him, give him a genuine compliment, thank him for working hard. Men love to be appreciated, we all do actually. And when you’re feeling overwhelmed, just start to thank God for all that is good in your life; for your precious baby and your wonderful husband.

I’m still only three weeks in, I don’t know what challenges await in the future, but I do know this is just a season. And our baby is already growing rapidly. I need to seize this time and treasure every bit of it, because one day I won’t be able to hold my Arrow. But I also need to tend to the garden of my marriage and make sure no weeds or thorns spring up.

God created us for this. We can be a great wife and mother at the same time. So let’s do it!

God’s peace and grace to you,

Natasha

How To Encourage Your Man To Be Chivalrous

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Ladies, single and married alike: during prayer this morning God reminded me of something very important. We desire men to be chivalrous, but we must allow them to be.

I’m a strong-willed, determined, tell-it-like-it-is, lioness of a woman. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. God made me this way, HOWEVER, as a woman, there’s other attributes He gave as well that the more I grow in Him, the more they flourish.

For example, before I surrendered my heart and life to Jesus on February 22nd, 2009, I hated dresses and colorful clothes so I stuck to black mostly and didn’t want to be girley. I liked playing video games with guys, cussing like a sailor, and having guys as best friends. But after I surrendered to Jesus, without any self-enforced effort, I began to transform from the inside out. Without realizing, I started dressing more colorfully and girley. I began liking dresses and just became brighter. I didn’t even cuss anymore! The words just disappeared from my vocabulary. I didn’t like the darkness I had liked before. The sacred femininity that God designed women with, that which makes us different from men and beautiful, began to flourish.

But remember my lioness spirit? I open the door for myself. If I ask Jon to do something (who is a much more laid back and patient person than I am) if he doesn’t do it immediately, I’ll do it for him. What does this do? This disallows him
to be chivalrous. This takes away part of the way God designed him: to be needed by a woman, to be a hero for a woman.

Many women—if not all—deep in their hearts, desire to be swept up by the strong arms of a loving man who can protect them, rescue them from the dungeon, and slay the dragon. Why else do we take pleasure when our men get jealous if another man shows interest in us? We like being desired and protected by a manly figure. I think this is also why even in most lesbian and gay couples there is one person that is more masculine than the other and one more feminine. Because God designed us to be in that kind of relationship: a masculine (male) and feminine (female) one. There’s two distinct personalities, traits, and roles that promote a mutual needing and offspring. Hence: And the LORD God said, “ It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” (‭Genesis‬ ‭2‬:‭18‬)

All this to say, ladies, if you want men to treat you chivalrously, step back and let them be! Stop opening the door for yourself, stop asking a man to help you but then doing it yourself. I’m not saying you do this for everything and just become some queen diva, but let him provide, let him carry heavy things, let him take the lead. But do this quietly, meaning, don’t command him, “Hey, open that door for me!” Just quietly stand there and smile, waiting patiently. Trust me, he’ll get it. And he’ll like it too! Your man wants a lady, not a man. That’s why he is with you. I’ll leave you with this:

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” (‭Ephesians‬ ‭5‬:‭22-33‬ NKJV)

Why Do All My Relationships Fail?

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Wanting to be wanted. I’ve been there. I used to dress sexy. Ironically, I was trying to reel in “the one” but all I was reeling in were sharks, toads, and wolves. Little did I know, my outer appearance displayed a very different message to the men crossing my path. I remember once I was in the mall and a group of men started yelling about my behind. Though I had specifically chosen to wear those skin-tight jeans because I thought they made my bottom look bigger, I got so angry at their attention. I cussed and yelled at them, but really, I had spurred them on with my attire. How I was dressed sent the message: treat me like I’m an object for your pleasure, rather than a woman who is worthy of respect.

Now my heart breaks when I see women doing the same thing I used to do, hoping they’ll find love someday. I’m sure like I experienced, they keep getting let down. They’re going about finding a man in all the wrong ways yet wondering why it never works out.

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. (Proverbs 31:30)

I remember really liking this young man when I was in high school. During an online conversation, based on my sexy profile pics, he felt comfortable enough to tell me he had masturbated to my photos. I was quite disgusted. Here I was thinking he could become a long-term boyfriend, yet he was already thinking about having sex with me because of my photos. He wasn’t thinking long term at all.

I had another boyfriend who was also pretty honest. This guy knew I was a virgin and didn’t want to be intimate, and so he told me he’d try really hard to wait. He waited two weeks and then dumped me.

As you can imagine, I was pretty discouraged about my vicious relationship cycle: frog after frog. No guy could love me like I loved them. I remember looking in the bathroom mirror and saying, “I’m never going to get married. I’m just meant to be single the rest of my life.”

A year or so later I gave my heart to the Perfect Man: Jesus. He not only healed my broken heart, but I suddenly had hope again that I would someday marry. I just knew that I would one day, and that until then, I would wait. It wasn’t but two weeks later that I met Jonathan, the man who is now my husband. He feared God and loved Him. The first four months of our relationship, we didn’t know how to protect ourselves from temptation, and stumbled more than once. We’d always cry and feel terrible, do good for a while, then mess up again. But God knew we didn’t want that for our relationship. We knew it was wrong and desperately wanted to please God.

During that time, God persisted in trying to tell me about courtship, but I kept forgetting. After going on a mission trip, everything changed. God put a pastor in my life who would eventually become a mentor to Jon and I, and the Lord had a Christian sister give me a book on courtship. We now had the wisdom on how to stay pure until marriage, and by God’s grace and Holy Spirit, we overcame. I’m very blessed and beyond thankful to say that although I wasn’t completely untouched until marriage, I was a virgin until my wedding night.

I know not everyone reading this is a virgin, but do not believe the lie that you are now damaged goods. When you repent, Christ sees you as a new creation, His pure daughter who He indeed wants/commands his son to wait for until marriage. God wants to protect your purity, to guard your heart until the right time. He doesn’t condemn premarital sex and all other forms of sexual activity outside of marriage between one man and one woman for no good reason. He does it because He loves us and knows what’s best for us. If you think you know better than God, that’s some serious pride, and God resists the prideful but gives grace to the humble. If you agree with God’s word, which says fornicators won’t receive the kingdom, and you desire to obey Him because you know He is worthy of your devotion and love because of all that He’s done for you, He will lovingly guide and teach you how to please Him.

I pray you surrender to the only Man who has died for you to make a way for your forgiveness, freedom and redemption, so that He can spend eternity with you and you with Him, basking in His joy and love. No man will EVER love you as much as Christ does, though a true Christian man can love you like He does and seek to honor God by honoring you.

So please ladies, if you are stuck in the cycle I was in, I pray you repent. Trust me, going about relationships the way Hollywood tells you to simply doesn’t work. You’re only going to keep wounding and scarring your heart. Let Jesus heal you like He healed me. The only thing you’ll regret is not having done so sooner.

God’s Will For Women Hasn’t Changed For Us Living In The Millenium

For thousands and thousands of years God’s commands for His daughters have remained the same: help your husband, be submissive to him, love him and your children, and take care of your home. But for the past century—if that— we’ve been steadily redefining a woman’s role in the church and in society. Many professing Christian women cringe at the thought of, “just being a wife and mother,” though many desire to walk in those roles, and others think they want both plus career.

The excuse I often hear is, “Well we live in a different culture and time.” But since when did Yahweh ever tell His people to conform to the culture? Were not His laws to the Jews so utterly counter-cultural and His commands always to be separate from everyone around them?

For we are the sanctuary of the living God, as God said: I will dwell among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be My people. Therefore, come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord; do not touch any unclean thing, and I will welcome you. I will be a Father to you, and you will be sons and daughters to Me, says the Lord Almighty. (‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭6‬:‭16-18‬ HCSB)

I have given them Your word. The world hated them because they are not of the world, as I am not of the world. I am not praying that You take them out of the world but that You protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, as I am not of the world. (‭John‬ ‭17‬:‭14-16‬)

“If the world hates you, understand that it hated Me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own. However, because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of it, the world hates you.” (John‬ ‭15‬:‭18-19‬)

Adulteresses! Don’t you know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? So whoever wants to be the world’s friend becomes God’s enemy. Or do you think it’s without reason the Scripture says that the Spirit who lives in us yearns jealously? But He gives greater grace. Therefore He says: God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Therefore, submit to God. But resist the Devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, sinners, and purify your hearts, double-minded people! (‭James‬ ‭4‬:‭4-8‬)

Let’s linger on the James passage. Notice how he says submit to God, but resist the devil. The Apostle John affirms:

We know that we are of God, and the whole world is under the sway of the evil one. (‭1 John‬ ‭5‬:‭19‬)

Catch that? The entire world—that means everyone who is not a Christian—is under Satan’s influence, and we are commanded to resist him. But how many of us daughters of the King are allowing ourselves to be influenced by the feminist movement which is now completely under Satan’s control? It began with Christian women desiring a few rights, but now has branched off to its own secular movement and its ideas are not biblical.

So again I ask, for what, 6000 years or so, through many diverse cultures, God has had the same commands for women, but now suddenly He has a different plan for us living in today’s age? He wants us to be go-getters, climbing career ladders and using birth control instead of getting married and raising children?

How dangerous to say God’s Word was for then but now His ideas have changed with the culture. Did not Christ Himself say:

For I assure you: Until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest letter or one stroke of a letter will pass from the law until all things are accomplished. Therefore, whoever breaks one of the least of these commands and teaches people to do so will be called least in the kingdom of heaven. But whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. (‭Matthew‬ ‭5‬:‭18-19‬)

Pure and undefiled religion before our God and Father is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself unstained by the world. (‭James‬ ‭1‬:‭27‬)

God’s Word is consistent and unchanging. He is not influenced by fads. He has clear plans, purposes and functions for women from the first woman to you and I today.

What are you saying, Natasha? That I should be a home-body until I get a husband?

No. Do the work of the Lord, not the world until God does place you before your future husband. I’m not saying getting a job to help your single mother or struggling parents is satanic. I’m saying seeking to make a name for yourself just because you want to prove you’re independent is. Remember, satan is all about self: self-help, self-esteem, self-success, “controlling one’s destiny,” self, self, self. Christ is all about walking in dependance of the Father, submitting to Him and letting Him lead.

We must examine our hearts. Do we desire what Yahweh has clearly shown He desires, or do we desire what the world tells us we should desire?

If you aren’t a wife yet, don’t worry about it. You’re Christ’s bride; serve Him. If you are married, but struggling with desiring career (not the same as ministry) or feel insignificant being “just a wife and mom,” check your heart. In fact, check God’s heart on His will for wives. Do a study through the bible on wives and see what you find.

May Christ convict and heal anyone reading this right now who needs it.

Praying for you sisters daily,

Natasha

What Do You Think Of What The Bible Says On Singleness?

I’m curious to know what you sisters think of these verses, particularly verse 40.

“39 A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. 40 *But she is happier if she remains as she is [single], according to my judgment—and I think I also have the Spirit of God.* (‭I Corinthians‬ ‭7‬:‭39-40‬ NKJV)

Please leave your thoughts in a comment.

Much love to you,

Natasha