Another YouTube video is up on my channel. Check out some things I have to say on the topic. ❤
Modesty has gotten a lot of slack over the last decade, outside–and in–the Church. Is there a standard, and if so, what is it?
If someone tells me she’s feeling suicidal and I encourage her, and hug her, and pray for her, and remind her of comforting Scriptures and she chooses not to kill herself, did my choices impact her decision? If I call someone horrible things and tell him he should kill himself and he does, did my choices impact or influence him?
So…do the clothes you wear impact the choices of others? Why does the Bible say “…that we may be pure and blameless children of God in the midst of a crooked generation?” If we are to be “blameless” does that mean we can be “blamed” at all? The Bible teaches us that our choices have influence. So then…are we somewhat accountable for them?
There’s a new phenomenon in American fashion: super-duper, bottom-of-butt-cheek short-shorts and midriff-exposing shirts. To many of us ladies, it’s all just cute. We walk around like baby unicorns rather than the enticing mares we are. We are, after all, women, not little girls. (Click to Tweet)
However, I’m preachin’ to the Christian woman.
Girl, I first of all commend you for professing Christ in a time where it is beyond taboo to do so. There’s so much mockery and disrespect out their toward Jesus and His children. It takes guts to claim Him as Lord so again, for that, I commend you, sister. Keep it up, for He who confesses Christ before others, Christ will likewise confess before His Heavenly Father on the day you face them (Matthew 10:32-33).
Remember how deeply Jesus loves you and how patient He is with you. But He’s patient because there’s something He’s waiting for: our sanctification. God doesn’t save us just so we can go to heaven as is. He saves us as is to give us access to heaven, but He also transforms us in the process. But it’s a relationship that goes both ways.
There’s things I’ve done to annoy my husband and displease him. And there’s things my husband has done to annoy and displease me. What looks like greater love: if I say, “Well suck it up and take the good with the bad.” Or instead, “I hear you, love, I’ll work on it because I want to make you happy.”
If Jesus says, “Immodesty displeases Me, but modesty makes Me happy,” what would your response be?
And Jesus DIED FOR YOU. He gave us everything so if He wants us to cover up some, will we die? Well, Jesus did command us to take up our cross, deny ourselves and follow Him (Matthew 16:24-26). And the Bible speaks of “crucifying our flesh.” (Galatians 5:24)
There will certainly be many times as a daughter of God where Heavenly Daddy will say, “Don’t do this, don’t do that. I want you to do this, I want you to do that,” and those commands will be hard; they will take some sacrifice–sacrificing our pride and our desires.
It’s preached incessantly by the world, “Do what makes YOU happy.” But as a daughter of God, as a Christian, we are commanded the opposite: deny yourself, crucify your selfish desires, don’t just look out for your own interests, but for the interests of others as well (Philippians 2:4); love even your enemies (Matthew 5:43-48).
Still wanna be a daughter of God?
Did I tell you JESUS DIED FOR YOU? If someone dies for you and will literally take you by the hand and pick you up whenever you fall, countlessly forgiving you and taking you back, and then lead you to heaven’s gates where He will love you for all eternity with a perfect love, is it really too much to ask to live a life that’s devoted to loving Him back?
“If You love Me, keep My commandments. And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever—the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you.” (John 14:15-17)
Did ya catch that? Jesus tells us to obey His very difficult commandments, but then immediately after, He promises that He will give us a Helper to help us obey! And this Spirit will show us the truth and literally live inside of us so we can walk it out!
Ah, indeed, there is no God like our God. And that, my sweet sister, is why you should pursue modesty.
Know your worth,
Want more advice? Sign up to my email list and I’ll send you this free eBook:
I remember walking through the mall in my teen years, rocking a pair of skin-tight Brazilian jeans (they were so the thing back then)—a pair I wore specifically because I believed they accentuated my assets, i.e., made my bottom look bigger.
So here I am, in my baby-blue Brazilian, skin-squeezin’ jeans and a spaghetti strap top and I’m pretty sure I was clackin’ around in heels, and this group of dudes begin yelling lewd comments at me across the mall for everyone in the vicinity to hear.
I got so upset, cussed at ‘em, flipped ‘em off, the whole nine. But never once did I recall the fact that I wore those jeans for the sake of appearing more desirable. I wanted the attention, but I guess I expected it to come across in a more respectful manner.
Thing is, I quite plainly, was dressed in a way that shouted sex object, yet I didn’t want to be treated like a sex object. I wanted to be pleasing to the sight of some men, as long as their pleasure was displayed in a manner I approved of.
I now understand that most single or unmarried men (or even married ones!) don’t look at women who are dressed super sexy and think: I better be low-key about all the lustful thoughts she’s inciting. The way they see it is you’re asking for the attention, so they’re gonna give it to you. And more specifically, they’re thinking along the lines of; this chick is asking to be f***ed.
Forgive the vulgarity, but I’m just being real. Have you ever heard men talk to each other when no women are around? Well, I have. A lot. I edit weddings. The videographer, who is a man, goes into the groom’s hotel room or wherever he’s getting ready and records him and his groomsmen as they get dressed. The stuff they say about the bride and about women is so disgusting and degrading that I often have to mute the audio entirely and sometimes wish I could leave in those parts so the bride sees how much her groom respects her in front of his boys. The things I hear make my blood boil and skin crawl. But the truth of the matter is that all of these brides lived with the guy beforehand. In other words, they already were sleeping with him. So frankly, men simply don’t respect a woman who sleeps with them before marriage. Period. He can act like he does, but there’s someone he boasting to about your body and sexcapades.
Have you experienced this kind of lewd attention before? Were you wearing super short-shorts, a midriff top, showing off cleavage or your belly? Lots of skin, lots of skin-tight-leave-hardly-any-room-for-the-imagination attire will incite and inflame a man’s lust. There’s no way to get around it unless he closes his eyes or avoids you or tries super-duper hard to only look at your face, even though his peripherals can see everything else. Even married men. Very few will try to look away, while others will be picturing you naked on top of them.
Now, if you’re truly fine with this, that’s your prerogative. However, if it makes you uncomfortable and you’d like a lot more respect, then take it from me, think twice about what you put on. And no, I’m not being legalistic. I’m not gonna sit here and list a bunch of non-Kosher clothes to wear because at the end of the day, most of us women aren’t stupid. We know what sexy looks like and some of us like how it feels. So the clothes you have that you deem sexy are the red flag raisers you should reconsider. And covering up doesn’t equate frumpy and dumpy. You can keep it covered and keep it classy. You can be modest and still like what you’re wearing.
And if you’re a Christian like me, then remember: you don’t just choose modesty because it’s a New Testament command (see 1 Timothy 2:9-10, 1 Peter 3:1-4), but we do so for a love for God and others. We want to please God. Sensuality, lustfulness, selfishness, all of that displeases Him. If we truly grasp all that God the Father did for us when He sent His Son to this earth to love and die for us, we won’t have a problem covering up some or reconsidering our wardrobe to ensure it’s honorable to Him. He wants us to “not only look out for our own interests, but for the interests of others as well.” That means if you choosing your clothing more wisely will help some fellow Christian brothers not to stumble, then you’ve just pleased God with that unselfish and considerate decision.
At the end of the day, I’m not modest for legalism or man’s sake, but for Christ’s sake, and for a love for Him and others. I also want to be a good example for women, because I love you, too. 🙂
Did this resonate with you? Feel free to share your thoughts in a comment.
Thank you so much Ebony for encouraging/inspiring me to upload this video despite the lack of aesthetic-ness. Sisters, feel free to share your thoughts in a comment. ❤ -Natasha
As, “women who profess godliness,” who claim to love Christ, we are His leaders; we are to set the example God wants His people to follow. Inwardly and outwardly, our lives are supposed to point people to Jesus, not ourselves.
Paul wrote about how we need to walk in love, and how if we imitate Jesus, thus walking in love, we will not be sexually immoral or cause our brothers to stumble.
Is it loving to use your body and looks to entice a man and manipulate him into a relationship with you? If you use your flesh to snag a guy, he’s operating in his flesh, and the bible says the mindset of the flesh is death, and that those who walk in the flesh cannot please God. If you use your flesh to reel a brother in, the foundation of your relationship is based on the flesh, and thus, you’re not pleasing God, and your fleshly mindset will lead to the death of your relationship.
I see too many sisters using their faces and bodies to capture a boy. I say boy, because if a brother is swayed by your fleshly manipulation, he’s weak or immature in the faith, and has not built up his spirit-man strong enough to resist temptation.
Ungodly enticement is dishonoring first to God, then to yourself and others. As James says, practice true religion by being unspotted by the ways of this world. Don’t be conformed to their patterns, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
See 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8 and Romans 12:2.
You’re a princess of God’s kingdom. He makes you beautiful. Trust Him.
Your sister, Natasha
Jesus is compassionate and tender. I was reading Luke this morning and came across this wonderful story of Christ’s sweet mercies toward a woman:
Then one of the Pharisees invited Him to eat with him. He entered the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table. And a woman in the town who was a sinner found out that Jesus was reclining at the table in the Pharisee’s house. She brought an alabaster jar of fragrant oil and stood behind Him at His feet, weeping, and began to wash His feet with her tears. She wiped His feet with the hair of her head, kissing them and anointing them with the fragrant oil. When the Pharisee who had invited Him saw this, he said to himself, “This man, if He were a prophet, would know who and what kind of woman this is who is touching Him — she’s a sinner! ” Jesus replied to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” “Teacher,” he said, “say it.” “A creditor had two debtors. One owed 500 denarii, and the other 50. Since they could not pay it back, he graciously forgave them both. So, which of them will love him more? ” Simon answered, “I suppose the one he forgave more.” “You have judged correctly,” He told him. Turning to the woman, He said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she, with her tears, has washed My feet and wiped them with her hair. You gave Me no kiss, but she hasn’t stopped kissing My feet since I came in. You didn’t anoint My head with olive oil, but she has anointed My feet with fragrant oil. Therefore I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven; that’s why she loved much. But the one who is forgiven little, loves little.” Then He said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” Those who were at the table with Him began to say among themselves, “Who is this man who even forgives sins? ” And He said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you. Go in peace.” (Luke 7:36-50 HCSB)
Who knew what this woman had done before this moment of surrender and brokenness before her Holy Savior, but we know whatever her lifestyle, it earned her a bad reputation and made her infamous. Maybe she was an adulteress, or a prostitute. Yet, despite her shameful past, Jesus allows her to smother his feet with kisses and tears.
The Lord is near the brokenhearted; He saves those crushed in spirit. (Psalms 34:18)
No matter how dirty our choices, when they bring us to our knees in surrender before the Son of God, He can forgive us and heal us. He will not turn away from a truly repentant person.
Maybe you believe in Jesus, but your relationship with Him has been stifled because of a secret shame. You think deep down He can’t forgive you, or you’re ashamed to approach His Holy splendor. I pray this story stirs faith in you that Christ does want to forgive and heal you. He knows what you’ve done, and if you’ve repented of that, or are now making the decision to repent of that, He will wash you clean, but you must let Him. You must trust that His love is greater than your sin. He asked His Father to forgive those who were mocking Him while He hung on the cross. Trust me, He wants you to be forgiven as well.
Once you stop hiding, and just come spiritually naked before your Savior, you will be amazed at His open arms and healing power that’s been waiting for you. I had a past I’m ashamed of, but on February 22nd, 2009, I walked away from that past and surrendered my heart to Jesus. Like this woman, I was broken, weeping on my bed, swallowed up with deep pain. But I came to Jesus and He healed me. It only took six days for His love to restore and redeem me. I was filled with a joy I had never known, and I want you to experience the same.
Make the choice to give it all to Jesus now, and watch what He does.
Check out my latest eBook on amazon, Kiss A Frog, Miss the Prince.