Why you shouldn’t be modest

I remember walking through the mall in my teen years, rocking a pair of skin-tight Brazilian jeans (they were so the thing back then)—a pair I wore specifically because I believed they accentuated my assets, i.e., made my bottom look bigger.

So here I am, in my baby-blue Brazilian, skin-squeezin’ jeans and a spaghetti strap top and I’m pretty sure I was clackin’ around in heels, and this group of dudes begin yelling lewd comments at me across the mall for everyone in the vicinity to hear.

I got so upset, cussed at ‘em, flipped ‘em off, the whole nine. But never once did I recall the fact that I wore those jeans for the sake of appearing more desirable. I wanted the attention, but I guess I expected it to come across in a more respectful manner.

Thing is, I quite plainly, was dressed in a way that shouted sex object, yet I didn’t want to be treated like a sex object. I wanted to be pleasing to the sight of some men, as long as their pleasure was displayed in a manner I approved of.

I now understand that most single or unmarried men (or even married ones!) don’t look at women who are dressed super sexy and think: I better be low-key about all the lustful thoughts she’s inciting. The way they see it is you’re asking for the attention, so they’re gonna give it to you. And more specifically, they’re thinking along the lines of; this chick is asking to be f***ed. 

Forgive the vulgarity, but I’m just being real. Have you ever heard men talk to each other when no women are around? Well, I have. A lot. I edit weddings. The videographer, who is a man, goes into the groom’s hotel room or wherever he’s getting ready and records him and his groomsmen as they get dressed. The stuff they say about the bride and about women is so disgusting and degrading that I often have to mute the audio entirely and sometimes wish I could leave in those parts so the bride sees how much her groom respects her in front of his boys. The things I hear make my blood boil and skin crawl. But the truth of the matter is that all of these brides lived with the guy beforehand. In other words, they already were sleeping with him. So frankly, men simply don’t respect a woman who sleeps with them before marriage. Period. He can act like he does, but there’s someone he boasting to about your body and sexcapades.

Have you experienced this kind of lewd attention before? Were you wearing super short-shorts, a midriff top, showing off cleavage or your belly? Lots of skin, lots of skin-tight-leave-hardly-any-room-for-the-imagination attire will incite and inflame a man’s lust. There’s no way to get around it unless he closes his eyes or avoids you or tries super-duper hard to only look at your face, even though his peripherals can see everything else. Even married men. Very few will try to look away, while others will be picturing you naked on top of them.

Now, if you’re truly fine with this, that’s your prerogative. However, if it makes you uncomfortable and you’d like a lot more respect, then take it from me, think twice about what you put on. And no, I’m not being legalistic. I’m not gonna sit here and list a bunch of non-Kosher clothes to wear because at the end of the day, most of us women aren’t stupid. We know what sexy looks like and some of us like how it feels. So the clothes you have that you deem sexy are the red flag raisers you should reconsider. And covering up doesn’t equate frumpy and dumpy. You can keep it covered and keep it classy. You can be modest and still like what you’re wearing.

And if you’re a Christian like me, then remember: you don’t just choose modesty because it’s a New Testament command (see 1 Timothy 2:9-10, 1 Peter 3:1-4), but we do so for a love for God and others. We want to please God. Sensuality, lustfulness, selfishness, all of that displeases Him. If we truly grasp all that God the Father did for us when He sent His Son to this earth to love and die for us, we won’t have a problem covering up some or reconsidering our wardrobe to ensure it’s honorable to Him. He wants us to “not only look out for our own interests, but for the interests of others as well.” That means if you choosing your clothing more wisely will help some fellow Christian brothers not to stumble, then you’ve just pleased God with that unselfish and considerate decision.

At the end of the day, I’m not modest for legalism or man’s sake, but for Christ’s sake, and for a love for Him and others. I also want to be a good example for women, because I love you, too. 🙂

Did this resonate with you? Feel free to share your thoughts in a comment.

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He wasn’t made for you. You were made for him.

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I started a podcast for you ladies! You can download the episodes for free, or listen directly from your iPhone’s Podcast app, or if you don’t have the Podcast app, you can listen via SoundCloud.

Each podcast is focused on a topic for women, with biblical advice, and is around thirty-minutes long. Podcasts are great because you can listen while driving, working out, walking your dog, etc. and can always pause and listen to the rest at another time and they have a cool rewind and fast-forward feature that rewinds fifteen seconds back or fifteen seconds forward. Since they’re longer, I get more in depth than on my YouTube channel.

You can listen to my first podcast, Being Useful While Waiting For God to Fulfill His Promises in Your Life or check out today’s, He Wasn’t Made For You, You Were Made For Him.

My prayer is that these lessons strengthen you in your walk with Jesus, giving you greater understanding about your purpose, calling, and role as a daughter of God, encouragement to keep on keeping on, and practical to-do’s all from a place of realness and love.

 

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Men, PURSUE HER! – Video

I LOVE this man. No, I don’t know him personally, but ladiessssss, he just killed this point (in a good way): “We keep telling the Christian women to wait and not telling the Christian men to pursue! If you plan to lead in marriage, lead in the pursuit!”

Trust me sisters, this is a worthy watch! He has some GREAT advice! Hopefully, the men watch this, too.

Did you watch it? Tell me what you thought of his advice in a comment. 

Jesus Loves Me so Don’t Judge Me

“I have stretched out My hands all day long to a rebellious people, Who walk in a way that is not good, According to their own thoughts; A people who provoke Me to anger continually to My face…”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭65:2-3‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

The bible says God doesn’t change; He is steadfast, eternally the same. His character has always hated evil and loved good, and it always will. There are things we do that provoke Him to anger continually. Indeed, God loves us, but hates the sin we commit. To use, “He loves me,” as a defense or justification for not repenting of what He calls sin and what He hates, is to trample underfoot His sacrifice on the cross for your sins.

“For if we sin willfully after we have received the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a certain fearful expectation of judgment, and fiery indignation which will devour the adversaries. Anyone who has rejected Moses’ law dies without mercy on the testimony of two or three witnesses. Of how much worse punishment, do you suppose, will he be thought worthy who has trampled the Son of God underfoot, counted the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified a common thing, and insulted the Spirit of grace? For we know Him who said, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. And again, “The LORD will judge His people.” It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭10:26-31‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

I know way too many Millennial Christians who use the, “Jesus loves me,” tactic to fool themselves and feel okay about engaging in sin. They don’t want to humble themselves and repent: they want heaven, God’s acceptance, and their sin. But Christ is a sword-bearer who demands a sharp divide and says those who love the world make themselves His enemy. For us to think this holy God who hated sin so much He sent His Son to be brutally punished for it and die in order to cleanse those who would later choose to trust in Jesus and repent, is to create your own false version of God; a god of your own understanding that is cool with whatever you do and accepts you anyway; an unholy god, opposite to the one in the bible. If your god doesn’t care if you sin, then don’t call him Jesus. Don’t blaspheme and lie about the holy character of God and deceive others into following your false version because you’ll just be heaping up even more judgement for yourself in the end.

My prayer is that some, even just one person reading this will admit to themselves and God that they’ve been making excuses for their sin and creating their own god that makes them comfortable and not accountable to change. That you would realize that your god is fake and powerless and that you clinging to this false idol of Jesus will only harm you and others. Christ offers so many glorious things in exchange for our repentance: forgiveness, fellowship with Him, power to transform and help others change. He gives us power over demons, power over satan. But you give all that up when you choose to deny holiness and cling to your sins.

There is nothing more delightful than experiencing Jesus FOR REAL. Because getting emotional when you sing at church doesn’t mean you’ve experienced Him, and experiencing Him goes way beyond that and overflows into every area of your life. It is not mere feelings and emotional highs, it is undeniable evidence of Him transforming you, leading you, speaking to you, teaching you, answering you, helping you.

If you’re not experiencing increasing holiness and power over the sins in your life, if you’re not experiencing a greater desire for Jesus and His truth and a lesser and lesser desire and eventual hatred of sin, then you don’t have a real, surrendered, right relationship with Him. You are not His follower, you’re just His fan who visits Him at church, but doesn’t seek to obey Him. You’re not a child of God, you’re sorta religious. And what a tragedy, when Christ calls us to such a more meaningful and incredible life; to true life. You have no idea what you’re missing out on and that is why you’re holding onto the sins in your life rather than forsaking them and knowing following Jesus is SO much worthier and better for you and others.

It angers God and breaks His heart, and as someone who loves God and people, I’m telling you truthfully, He does not accept you if you continue to love sin. He just does not. This is not Natasha’s teaching, it’s the bible’s. And if you’re a professing Christian, you’re supposed to believe and seek to obey that book; not just listen to the parts that are nice and easy to accept; you don’t just accept as much of Jesus as you’re comfortable with, you let go and surrender all to Him and embrace everything He desires for you. And then your life will really begin.

The Real Reason Why A Man Pushing Premarital Sex Doesn’t Love You

Ladies, if a “Christian” man intends on and expects to have sex before marriage, he does not really love you, and you may not have considered this as the reason why. Stay put; it’s about to get deep.

“Finally then, brothers, we ask and encourage you in the Lord Jesus, that as you have received from us how you must walk and please God — as you are doing — do so even more.

For this is God’s will, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality, so that each of you knows how to control his own body in sanctification and honor, not with lustful desires, like the Gentiles who don’t know God. This means one must not transgress against and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger of all these offenses, as we also previously told and warned you. For God has not called us to impurity but to sanctification. Therefore, the person who rejects this does not reject man, but God, who also gives you His Holy Spirit.”
‭‭1 Thessalonians‬ ‭4:1, 3-8‬ ‭HCSB‬‬

The man who purposes to have sex with you before marriage is rejecting God by refusing to abstain from premarital sex. He is rejecting Christ which means if he dies today, according to scripture, he will go to hell:

“Don’t you know that the unrighteous will not inherit God’s kingdom? Do not be deceived: No sexually immoral people, idolaters, adulterers … will inherit God’s kingdom.”
‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭6:9-10‬ ‭HCSB‬‬

It’s much deeper than many of us realize. So much of pagan and idol worship involves sex outside of the covenant of marriage. Having sex with temple prostitutes and orgies were popular forms of “worship” and here is why:

God ordained marriage to display the beautiful, holy, intimate relationship He has with His bride the Church. In the bible, the word used for when a man makes love to his wife is “yada.” It is a deep “knowing” hence the reason the bible usually translates it in ways like this, “and Isaac *knew* Rebecca.”

That same word is used often by God when He tells us He will cause us to “know” Him.

“I will take you to be My wife forever. I will take you to be My wife in righteousness, justice, love, and compassion. I will take you to be My wife in faithfulness, and you will know Yahweh.”
‭‭Hosea‬ ‭2:19-20‬ ‭HCSB‬‬

God is all about creation pointing back to Him, glorifying Him. The union of a married couple is supposed to help us understand the way God desires us to deeply know and love Him, just as we are deeply loved and known by Him.

Satan, God’s enemy, the fallen angel who hates Jesus more than anyone, as an act of defiance toward Him, takes pleasure in profaning God’s creation, in profaning everything, but ESPECIALLY marriage. Satan warps the creation of true, sacred marital oneness (“sex” as the world calls it), and makes it as vile as possible, hence pornography, rape, homosexuality, beastiality, orgies, etc.

But with Christians, he needs to be much more crafty and less flamboyantly profane to lure them into his trap. Satan’s mission: seduce God’s children whom God loves immeasurably and died to save, trick them into having premarital sex so they can be his greatest weapons to crush God’s heart. After luring a Christian to reject the Holy Spirit and walk into his grasp, engaging in sex outside of God’s covenant of marriage, Satan peers up into the fiery eyes of Jesus and says, “look at Your children. Look at how much they love You.”

Beloved, do not ever let yourself become a flaming arrow in Satan’s hand used to pierce Christ’s heart and trample and spit upon His sacrifice. He died so you can be free from sin, not so that you can keep following Satan.

“But anyone joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him. Run from sexual immorality! “Every sin a person can commit is outside the body.” On the contrary, the person who is sexually immoral sins against his own body. Don’t you know that your body is a sanctuary of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought at a price. Therefore glorify God in your body.”
‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭6:17-20‬ ‭‬‬