Single Christian Woman: Where’s all the eligible brothers?

Christian lady, ever feel like there’s so many fellow eligible sisters out there, but not quite as many eligible brothers? I have a theory: Christian men (and men in general), are getting increasingly intimidated by us women. As feminism rubs off on us gals who confess Christ as Lord, we simultaneously repel brothers. They may darn well be attracted to us, but they’ll keep commitment out of mind and out of heart because at the end of the day, God made the man (Adam) with a desire to be supported–not competed with. 

So if you’re serious about getting married someday and raising a family, do a mirror check: How am I coming across to my brothers in Christ? Am I intimidating? Do I challenge them with my attitude and words? Do I question or laugh at their insight and discernment? Do I quickly dismiss things they say right to their face, without fully listening and prayerfully considering them first? Am I very judgmental when it comes to them? Am I feisty? Do I speak respectfully, or freely without any reserve or thought to my words? And the most dreaded of all, am I being disrespectful?

If reflecting on whether or not you’re being disrespectful to a brother already has you balking, you’re likely not being pursed or view as “marriage material.” “Submission” and “respect” from women toward men is increasingly taboo and disgraceful among those outside of the Church, but within her, it is rare, beautiful, and attractive. If you disagree just look at these feminists: how many of them are married? And then again, look at the Church, how many of us young women are married? 

Is it all of our faults, no, of course not. But we’d be wise to own our faults and seek to overcome them by the power of the Holy Spirit–especially if we want to get married someday, and most importantly, if we want to please God, who calls His children to be respectful and to honor all.

“As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout,
So is a lovely woman who lacks discretion.”-Proverbs 11:22

“Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.”-1 Peter 3:3-4

Don’t Cheat on Your Future Spouse eBook Giveaway for Honest Review

Hey, ladies! Sooo I wrote a relationship advice book for single Christian gals and I’m giving it away in exchange for an honest review for Amazon and Goodreads. This is the book:

Are you a single Christian waiting for a spouse? Have you tasted the waters of different men or women in search of “the one,” only to walk away thirsty? Is there a best way to prepare for your future husband or wife? 

In this short, easy to grasp eBook, single Christians will learn how to not cheat on their future spouse, and how best to prepare for him or her. 

If you’ve seen Natasha’s “Don’t Cheat On Your Future Spouse” YouTube video and want to have a more in-depth and practical guide on this topic, this book is for you!

If you’re interested in reading it and writing a review, please do let me know and I can email you the eBook. I really look forward to your thoughts!

Video: What is Modest Apparel for the Christian Woman?

Modesty has gotten a lot of slack over the last decade, outside–and in–the Church. Is there a standard, and if so, what is it?

If someone tells me she’s feeling suicidal and I encourage her, and hug her, and pray for her, and remind her of comforting Scriptures and she chooses not to kill herself, did my choices impact her decision? If I call someone horrible things and tell him he should kill himself and he does, did my choices impact or influence him?

So…do the clothes you wear impact the choices of others? Why does the Bible say “…that we may be pure and blameless children of God in the midst of a crooked generation?” If we are to be “blameless” does that mean we can be “blamed” at all? The Bible teaches us that our choices have influence. So then…are we somewhat accountable for them?

Why you shouldn’t be modest

I remember walking through the mall in my teen years, rocking a pair of skin-tight Brazilian jeans (they were so the thing back then)—a pair I wore specifically because I believed they accentuated my assets, i.e., made my bottom look bigger.

So here I am, in my baby-blue Brazilian, skin-squeezin’ jeans and a spaghetti strap top and I’m pretty sure I was clackin’ around in heels, and this group of dudes begin yelling lewd comments at me across the mall for everyone in the vicinity to hear.

I got so upset, cussed at ‘em, flipped ‘em off, the whole nine. But never once did I recall the fact that I wore those jeans for the sake of appearing more desirable. I wanted the attention, but I guess I expected it to come across in a more respectful manner.

Thing is, I quite plainly, was dressed in a way that shouted sex object, yet I didn’t want to be treated like a sex object. I wanted to be pleasing to the sight of some men, as long as their pleasure was displayed in a manner I approved of.

I now understand that most single or unmarried men (or even married ones!) don’t look at women who are dressed super sexy and think: I better be low-key about all the lustful thoughts she’s inciting. The way they see it is you’re asking for the attention, so they’re gonna give it to you. And more specifically, they’re thinking along the lines of; this chick is asking to be f***ed. 

Forgive the vulgarity, but I’m just being real. Have you ever heard men talk to each other when no women are around? Well, I have. A lot. I edit weddings. The videographer, who is a man, goes into the groom’s hotel room or wherever he’s getting ready and records him and his groomsmen as they get dressed. The stuff they say about the bride and about women is so disgusting and degrading that I often have to mute the audio entirely and sometimes wish I could leave in those parts so the bride sees how much her groom respects her in front of his boys. The things I hear make my blood boil and skin crawl. But the truth of the matter is that all of these brides lived with the guy beforehand. In other words, they already were sleeping with him. So frankly, men simply don’t respect a woman who sleeps with them before marriage. Period. He can act like he does, but there’s someone he boasting to about your body and sexcapades.

Have you experienced this kind of lewd attention before? Were you wearing super short-shorts, a midriff top, showing off cleavage or your belly? Lots of skin, lots of skin-tight-leave-hardly-any-room-for-the-imagination attire will incite and inflame a man’s lust. There’s no way to get around it unless he closes his eyes or avoids you or tries super-duper hard to only look at your face, even though his peripherals can see everything else. Even married men. Very few will try to look away, while others will be picturing you naked on top of them.

Now, if you’re truly fine with this, that’s your prerogative. However, if it makes you uncomfortable and you’d like a lot more respect, then take it from me, think twice about what you put on. And no, I’m not being legalistic. I’m not gonna sit here and list a bunch of non-Kosher clothes to wear because at the end of the day, most of us women aren’t stupid. We know what sexy looks like and some of us like how it feels. So the clothes you have that you deem sexy are the red flag raisers you should reconsider. And covering up doesn’t equate frumpy and dumpy. You can keep it covered and keep it classy. You can be modest and still like what you’re wearing.

And if you’re a Christian like me, then remember: you don’t just choose modesty because it’s a New Testament command (see 1 Timothy 2:9-10, 1 Peter 3:1-4), but we do so for a love for God and others. We want to please God. Sensuality, lustfulness, selfishness, all of that displeases Him. If we truly grasp all that God the Father did for us when He sent His Son to this earth to love and die for us, we won’t have a problem covering up some or reconsidering our wardrobe to ensure it’s honorable to Him. He wants us to “not only look out for our own interests, but for the interests of others as well.” That means if you choosing your clothing more wisely will help some fellow Christian brothers not to stumble, then you’ve just pleased God with that unselfish and considerate decision.

At the end of the day, I’m not modest for legalism or man’s sake, but for Christ’s sake, and for a love for Him and others. I also want to be a good example for women, because I love you, too. 🙂

Did this resonate with you? Feel free to share your thoughts in a comment.

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He wasn’t made for you. You were made for him.

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I started a podcast for you ladies! You can download the episodes for free, or listen directly from your iPhone’s Podcast app, or if you don’t have the Podcast app, you can listen via SoundCloud.

Each podcast is focused on a topic for women, with biblical advice, and is around thirty-minutes long. Podcasts are great because you can listen while driving, working out, walking your dog, etc. and can always pause and listen to the rest at another time and they have a cool rewind and fast-forward feature that rewinds fifteen seconds back or fifteen seconds forward. Since they’re longer, I get more in depth than on my YouTube channel.

You can listen to my first podcast, Being Useful While Waiting For God to Fulfill His Promises in Your Life or check out today’s, He Wasn’t Made For You, You Were Made For Him.

My prayer is that these lessons strengthen you in your walk with Jesus, giving you greater understanding about your purpose, calling, and role as a daughter of God, encouragement to keep on keeping on, and practical to-do’s all from a place of realness and love.

 

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