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Relationship advice for christian women:
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I can’t say I know what every guy is attracted to in a woman. But I do know something you can work on beforehand that’ll make you more attractive to any guy.
If you’re super anxious, really insecure, have health issues that just consume you, that’s not only people repellant, but it’s unhealthy for you as well.
Now it is good to be self aware. It is good to know if you’re struggling with depression or are fearful or have ailments. It’s important to take care of yourself. But when it absorbs you, that’s when it’s destructive to yourself and your relationships.
For example: there’s a girl I met a few months ago. We exchanged numbers and ever since, it’s always been requests for help. I’ve helped her out from Christian love, but I realized that literally is our entire relationship: her needing/wanting help and talking about all her ailments. She didn’t know I was pregnant for a while until I offered her the information. She actually never asks me anything about myself–ever. She would know nothing about me if I never volunteered sharing. Her health issues have made her completely self-absorbed. And I see she has unknowingly pushed away family and loved ones. It’s really sad and I pity her, but what we have is a one-sided friendship.
And no guy wants to be in that kind of relationship where self pity on your end is the consummation of your conversations.
Relationships are mutual. You can begin self-reflecting and observing how you are with others by reading text message conversations, listening to yourself when you’re hanging out with your friends to see if it’s all about you, etc. If it is, seek to change that by learning more about God and what He has to say about life via the Bible, first the New Testament). It’s amazing how freeing His perspective is.
Now there’s also the opposite side of the spectrum: when you keep it all in and only listen to others, but never or rarely share. Again, relationships are mutual, so open up. Ask questions and answer them, too. I think shyness isn’t entirely who someone is, but more so, it’s someone who’s afraid to share who they are for whatever reason. Typically, it’s what the Bible calls, “the fear of man.”
You fear what people are going to think of you. Or you’re not sure if you can trust them. Whatever the case, don’t let shyness be a roadblock in your relationships. Yes, it’s something that takes effort to overcome, but it all comes back to getting to know God and His love. Once you begin understanding how deeply you’re loved by God, you’ll grow less and less afraid of getting hurt or rejected by others, and your relationships will flourish.
Feel free to leave a comment if this resonated with you.
Almost everyone annoys you. Your patience is like 0.2%. Regular happiness is a distant memory. I’ve battled this and I still have my bouts with this, but when I remember the truths I’m about to share with you, sisters, I’m able to break through this bulwark before it becomes a vicious cycle.
As Christians, if we think we’re entitled to a bad attitude because we have bad health, we’re gravely mistaken.
“Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.”-Philippians 11-14
Whether it be sleep deprivation (which is me every day), physical ailment (I’ve got chronic neck pain; haven’t been to the chiropractor in over three months) or weakness, we cannot allow our emotional state to remain in a place of anger and a funky attitude because, in essence, that’s bitterness, beloved. And the Bible warns:
“Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord. Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many. “-Hebrews 14:14-15
An unchecked bad attitude and bitterness is what begins the erosion of our closest relationships; this is especially true in marriages. If we believe the lie that because we are sick, or weak, or tired continually that we then have the license and permission to be mean, joyless, and emotionally unstable, damaging and hurting those around us because we’re suffering, we are not practicing love, but selfishness. Too many are hurting others because they’re hurting and as Christians, this is point blank unacceptable.
I’m not talking about having a bad day. I’m talking about when your bad day turns into bad weeks and months and years. You’re allowed to be human and experience discouragement and anger. It’s when you let anger give the devil a foothold over your life and remain in that state of being for lengthy periods of time that you’re now being destructive to yourself and others.
Let’s pray for one another and bear one another’s burdens, and not allow our physical weaknesses to cause us to be in a perpetual state of bitterness that abuses those around us. Let us choose to love no matter what state we’re in physically, and when it’s hard to do that, instead of justifying our bad attitudes, let’s confess to one another and humbly ask for prayer. A bad attitude ignored or justified is like radioactive gas to those around us; it’s toxic and destructive. Christians can live in victory, so let’s not accept continually defeated mindsets for if we allow ourselves to be beat down, then we’re useless to help lift others up.
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.-1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Sister, you’re sad, you’re hurting, you’re upset, you are more angry than you are happy.
“Return, O Israel, to the Lord your God, for your sins have brought you down.-Hosea 14:1
You blame your boyfriend, but who is deciding to be in a relationship with him? Who is choosing to stay with him? Your free will and choice to remain where you’re at–your sins–have brought you down. (I love you, that’s why I’m so real! So hang tight, sisters and know this is tough-love speaking, not angry judgement.)
So what should I do, Natasha? I’m glad you asked, princess:
Bring your confessions, and return to the Lord. Say to him, “Forgive all our sins and graciously receive us, so that we may offer you our praises.-Hosea 14:2
This is a simple two-step process to SERIOUS restoration, deliverance, and supernatural empowerment!
1.) Bring your confessions to God.
Sister, God already KNOWS all about your sinful relationship, but there are several reasons why He wants you to confess it to Him. For one, it places you in a position to receive closeness and intimacy with God. God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. He draws near to those who draw near to Him. And even in all your sin, with all the dirt covering you, He tells you to come close to Him so He can wash you clean. Think about that. God isn’t trying to expose your nakedness to anyone (but if you keep hiding from Him, after a while, He will expose you. Why would He do that? Because tough love is better than no love, and if it takes big consequences or firm punishment to get you to stop sinning i.e. destroying yourself, He will do what is necessary. But that’s why me–AND GOD–plead with you NOT to push Him to that point. He’d MUCH rather clean you up behind closed doors rather than have you stripped naked for all to see and come to Him completely broken in shame).
God is VERY patient, but like I said, there comes a time where that patience turns to punishment. Do you wanna be like those protestors who start pushing against the authorities, who at first just try and push them back with those clear shields, but after a while, the authority has the right to start swinging his knight stick. Don’t force God to knock you out, to lay you flat, to push you so hard you break because you won’t listen to Him otherwise. Bring your confession to Him instead and don’t wait another day.
2.) Return to the Lord.
Turn back to Him. That means you need to turn from your boyfriend who is standing in front of you, who is all you see right now, and walk away. And you’re not just walking away to nowhere, you’re leaving his selfish arms and walking back into the arms of TRUE Love Himself, Jesus Christ!
3.) Praise Him.
Once Jesus takes you back into His loving arms i.e. “graciously receives you” your natural response should be praise. You’ll finally have this joy that wells up inside of you and causes you to thank God. You will experience forgiveness, cleansing, and healing and this will be the full result of doing all three of these commands:
The Lord says, “Then I will heal you of your faithlessness; my love will know no bounds, for my anger will be gone forever. I will be to Israel like a refreshing dew from heaven. Israel will blossom like the lily; it will send roots deep into the soil like the cedars in Lebanon. Its branches will spread out like beautiful olive trees, as fragrant as the cedars of Lebanon. My people will again live under my shade. They will flourish like grain and blossom like grapevines. They will be as fragrant as the wines of Lebanon. “O Israel, stay away from idols! I am the one who answers your prayers and cares for you. I am like a tree that is always green; all your fruit comes from me.” Let those who are wise understand these things. Let those with discernment listen carefully. The paths of the Lord are true and right, and righteous people live by walking in them. But in those paths sinners stumble and fall.”-Hosea 14:4-9
Natasha nugget: You’re in the arms of a man who hurts you more than he helps you because you have yet to run to and remain in the arms of the Perfect Man who holds you and heals you and never lets you go.
All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ.4 Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes.-Ephesians 1:3-4
In Jesus’ name, I PRAY you sisters gain some more understanding of how amazing God is and how much you’re loved by the most incredible and perfect person in existence. Let the unpacking begin!
All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ.
Quick debunking: God DOES NOT promise to give us every earthly so-called blessing. Many THINK mansions, luxury cars, extravagant vacations, etc. are all earthly blessings God will give if we just ask Him to or bribe Him enough with generous church donations to greedy wolves. God promises to give us every earthly need: food, clothes, water etc. but He does NOT promise to give all Christians health and wealth.
However, He DOES promise that He has ALREADY blessed us with EVERY SPIRITUAL BLESSING in the heavenly realms. Can we see the heavenly realms? No. Are we in the heavenly realms? Not yet. So then clearly, this again, is not talking about things of the earth, things we can see and feel and handle. HOWEVER, we can SEE the evidence of the Holy Spirit, who is spiritual. God has gifted us with ALL the spiritual blessings He has to offer and MANY of those blessings are given to us through the power of the Holy Spirit who was given to us after we repented of our sins and trusted in Jesus Christ’s perfect life and sacrifice to save us–NOT TRUSTING OURSELVES, our good deeds, our donations, our church dedication and service, etc.
Here’s NINE spiritual blessings we CURRENTLY possess and HAVE ACCESS TO as believers in Christ as Lord:
But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!-Galatians 5:22-23
Now if you’re not experiencing much of these realities in your life, there’s a simple reason for that:
Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. 25 Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives.-Galatians 24-25
You haven’t nailed your sinful passions and nature to His cross. You haven’t left them there, but instead, you’re holding onto them. And you’re not allowing the Spirit to lead EVERY part of your life. You don’t get to hold on to some serious separating sins such as any forms of sexual immorality (adultery, pornography/impurity/lust, fornication aka sex outside of marriage, homosexuality, etc.) and still get to experience the above blessings of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. You MUST let God lead EVERY area of your life by listening to Him, going to Him for advice by reading His word, getting to know what He wants for and from you, and then applying it every day–putting His commands to practice. It’s not impossible to obey God. I’m not saying you’ll be perfect, but He has gifted you His Holy Spirit for a reason: so you have the supernatural power to overcome your sinful desires and instead choose to hear and obey HIS voice and live to please HIM rather than yourself or anyone else.
Which, sisters, believe it or not, you were NOT created to be what YOU think is happy. You were created for these simple, but profound purposes: you were created by God and for God to:
God’s purpose was that we Jews who were the first to trust in Christ would bring praise and glory to God. 13 And now you Gentiles have also heard the truth, the Good News that God saves you. And when you believed in Christ, he identified you as his own by giving you the Holy Spirit, whom he promised long ago. 14 The Spirit is God’s guarantee that he will give us the inheritance he promised and that he has purchased us to be his own people. He did this so we would praise and glorify him.-Ephesians 1:12-14
You are literally created to please God by praising and glorifying Him, and bringing Him praise and glory! We were not created for ourselves, our dreams, our fun, our happiness. We were created for God’s dreams, God’s happiness, God’s pleasure! Seriously:
God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.-Ephesians 1:5
Too many Christians said a prayer to accept Jesus, only to then go on with their lives, not reading the Bible much, and just continuing to pursue their dreams, desires, relationships, wants, happiness, career choice, etc. They’re not living to please the God they claimed to accept as their Lord, but instead are living to please themselves, to do whatever makes them happy. And many don’t even know this is what they’re doing, and that God DOES NOT WANT THEM TO, and literally has DIFFERENT PLANS for them that He wants and EXPECTS them to do! But we absolutely cannot do ANYTHING of eternal value, that is, do ANYTHING that is pleasing to God, if we do not seek Him and discover what pleases Him in the first place!
So I’m stopping here, because this blog will be very long if I continue to unpack these verses, but let’s start here: who are you living to please, yourself, someone else, or God the Father and our Lord Jesus Christ? If you’re living for your own happiness, choose to stop, pick up your bible, and discover what God wants from you and desires from you. And guess what, His plans for you actually WILL be pleasing to you!
Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.-Romans 12:2-3
Listen, just as your boyfriend or ex wanted sex from you, which was a selfish, lustful desire because he didn’t wanna wait or have to commit himself to you in marriage to earn all of you, and treated you like dirt, and didn’t trust and respect you, God wants you to do things for Him, but unlike your “man”, the Perfect Man, Jesus Christ’s desires for you are good and beneficial to both Him and you AND everyone else in your sphere of influence aka your neighbors–those close to you, your church family, your friends, biological family, coworkers etc. You just don’t know it yet because you haven’t sought those plans out by faithfully getting to spend time listening to God via His word, the Bible.
I’m a bible-thumper for a reason, and this is just one of hundreds of reasons. Do you want to know the plans God has for you? Read His word, pray, and ask Him to speak to you through it, to show you His desires for you, and then begin to choose to obey and you’ll swiftly experience many of the spiritual blessings He has already given you in Christ.
Natasha nugget: you’re probably settling for whacked out guys and friendships because you have yet to discover the awesome blessings Jesus Christ has given you. You’re looking around for what’s missing, all the while you’re just ignorant of what you already have.
Yesterday at church service, the pastor quoted an amazing Christian woman, Corrie ten Boom:
“Is prayer your steering wheel, or your spare tire?”
There are countless bible verses about how God specifically has plans for people, and directs them…but, there’s a condition: they must SEEK His plan. That means God has a plan even for your relationships and especially for who you marry.
Early early on, me and Jonathan sought God for our relationship. Four months in, Jonathan really gave Him the steering wheel.
We began to pray and ask God about if He wanted us to get married. There were three times in particular that I cried (literally was crying) out to God about speaking to me on if I should be with Jonathan or not. Even though I loved Jonathan so much and believed he was who God wanted me to be with, I obeyed Proverbs 3:6-9, which says to trust in God with all your heart and to not to lean on your own understanding, but to acknowledge Him in all of your ways so that He can direct your paths.
Trust in God is more than saying you trust Him and believing that you trust Him. It is actually going to Him for advice, listening to that advice, and then applying it. Real trust is doing whatever God tells you to do, and great trust is listening to and obeying Him even when you don’t FEEL like it.
So, my honest to God best advice I can give you precious princesses is to really really seek God by:
a) asking Him to really speak to you on if you should continue in this relationship or not/ask if this is really the man God wants you to marry and
b) ask God to make it clear to you by speaking clearly to you through the Bible. Go to your bible, open it, and ask God to speak, and I promise you, when you do that, suddenly those words become very very specific and personal to what you’re going through and you just KNOW God is speaking to you. Then,
c) once you have heard Him speak, you obey. You apply whatever it is He told you to do and TRUST that He TRULY knows BEST, better than you; that unlike you, He can see the future, and knows the very BEST path for your life.
Another good test of your trust is to see if you’re afraid of whatever God’s answer may be. It might be to stay with the guy, but it may be to not stay with Him. Can you trust that despite whatever the answer is, God knows best, and EVERY decision and plan He has for you is truly for YOUR best interest as well as everyone else’s who’s involved, and that God LOVES you more than you love yourself and more than anyone else loves you, and that His decision is literally motivated by both perfect love and perfect wisdom.
I don’t want you to miss out on the amazing plans God has for your life, and God is even more passionate that you don’t miss them. My prayer for you today is that you really come to trust and understand His incredible love for you, and that you grow more and more confident in it so that you become more and more obedient when He tells you to do something, knowing that He is good and deeply loves you, and whatever He commands you is for your good.
Until next time, know your worth. -Natasha